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Scilla Elworthy Quote on Controlling Anger (Rather Than Letting It Control You)

“Anger is like gasoline. If you spray it around and somebody lights a match you’ve got an inferno. [But] if we can put our anger inside an engine, it can drive us forward.”
Scilla Elworthy

Beyond the Quote (Day 9)

I got really angry tonight. In an effort to save your time (and save myself from getting worked up again) I’ll spare you the details. Long story short I’m experiencing really frustrating car issues and really frustrating customer service.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear, Atomic Habits

Beyond the Quote (Day 8)

Before the start of every competition, it’s safe to assume that every competitor has the same goal—to win. And yet, not all of them do—only one person wins. Is it the case that the person who wins has a bigger desire to win than the rest? Possibly, but not indefinitely. It is certainly the case that people with greater desires to win have lost. Size of desire, in and of itself, is not the difference maker in winning and losing. So, what is?

“No one will ever tell you how great you can be. You will never be asked to do something incredible with your life. You will never get a letter in the mail that says, ‘Dear you, please, do something important with your time.’ Even if you do it quietly you have to give yourself the life you want.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 72)

“Here is the secret we all know: We all want to love. We’re all afraid we are alone. We’re afraid no one will know who we are. Because on some level, we all know you can die without love, without anyone, without even you knowing who you are. (Unless you take care of you, and give yourself love. Unless you meet yourself, inside yourself. Unless you know yourself like you were meant to. Forgive yourself for being you—you have done nothing wrong and tomorrow is another chance. I swear, there is a day after, every day.)” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 68)

“We forget that how a person acts in each moment is not who they are, that each person is a series of moments and we cannot judge any moment in isolation, and use that moment to define them. It is not up to others, it is up to us, which moments we want to hang on to, for good or for bad. We forget our successes and enshrine our failures. We forget there is still a child in all of us, begging for love. We forget that this is true of every person we meet. We only hear the loudest voices when really, we should be listening to the quietest.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 43)

David Bowie on Aging Being An Extraordinary Process

“Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.”
David Bowie via Happiness is a Choice You Make

Beyond the Quote (Day 7)

It must have been around my mom’s 50th birthday when I asked her, like any good kid would on their parent’s birthday, how it felt to be so old. Expecting an uproar of mixed emotions and frustration, I was surprised when she rebutted calmly that for her, each decade has gotten better than the last—and that she was… Excited! Not quite your everyday answer. She explained that while youth has its perks, age brings with it insight and wisdom that allows you to connect more deeply with who you are and what your purpose might be—which, for her, has been the most valued experience of life overall.

“Exceptions lead to more exceptions. It’s really easy to justify not doing [a] new habit (or doing an old habit you’re trying to quit) by saying, ‘Just one time won’t hurt.’ Except that it will, because now you think it’s OK to make exceptions. And now you don’t really trust yourself to stick to your promise to yourself. It’s much more effective to not make exceptions — catch yourself if you’re thinking about it and trying to justify it, and remember your motivations. When I quit smoking, I told myself Not One Puff Ever (NOPE).”
Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

Beyond the Quote (Day 6)

The habit changes that I have had the most success with incorporating into my lifestyle have been the ones that I have been the most strict with myself about. When I started drinking coffee black, I told myself No Cream or Sugar Ever. When I cut out donuts from my diet, I told myself Not One Bite Ever. When I stopped drinking alcohol, I told myself Not One Sip Ever. When I committed to going vegan, I told myself No Meat or Dairy Ever. Like Babauta, I made sure there were no exceptions or ‘gray-areas’ to these habit changes—and while that might sound harsh and intense, I actually feel like it made the habit change process easier.

“Let me tell you how the world becomes better. The world becomes better when good people like you look at themselves and decide what kind of life they want to live, and what they’re willing to do to make it that way. This does not mean you need to fight more. It means you need to find ways to fight less. Sometimes, our immediate response to the way the world is, is anger, and the world is the way it is, because sometimes our immediate response to it is, anger.”
Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 30)

Beyond the Quote (Day 5)

The way to peace, is peace. The way to war, is war. Peace, is not a means to the outcome of war. War, is not a means to the outcome of peace. Peace is the way.

The way to happiness, is happiness. The way to anger, is anger. Happiness is not a means to the outcome of anger. Anger, is not a means to the outcome of happiness. Happiness is the way.

Little bits of good matter.

Listen to the soul; silence the mind.

“The wind does not stop being the wind when it stops blowing. A wave does not stop being a wave when it crashes against the shore. A story does not stop being a story when you turn the page.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 25)

“Everyone you meet along the way is just someone at a different point in their story. So be patient and kind. But don’t let anyone tell you how your story should go. Only you know how your story goes.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 24)

20 Practical and Timely Sakyong Mipham Quotes on How To Turn the Mind Into An Ally

20 Sakyong Mipham Quotes on How To Turn the Mind Into An Ally

Excerpt: Read our 20 Sakyong Mipham Quotes from Turning the Mind Into An Ally and take control of your wandering, cycling, distracted mind… today!

Every Word You Cannot Say [Book]

By: Iain Thomas

From this Book: 12 Quotes

Book Overview: *May this book find the person it needs to. May they find every word they were looking for.*

**I know you don’t want to talk sometimes. Sometimes because it hurts and sometimes because you’re just not supposed to talk about what you want to talk about. Sometimes it can be hard to say, “this is beautiful,” when no one else can see what you see. Or, “Here, this is where the pain is.” But some part of you knows, the truth about the words you cannot say is that they only hurt until you say them. They only hurt until the person who needs to hear them, hears them. Because we are human, and the closest we’ve ever come to showing each other who we really are, and how we love, is with words. So I’m going to try to say to you here, what I wish you’d say to me too. Please. Listen. We can change things. Here.

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Post(s) Inspired by this Book:

12 Empowering Iain Thomas Quotes from Every Word You Cannot Say
Iain Thomas Quote on What To Do When The World Is Wearing You Down (Beyond the Quote 180/365)
Iain Thomas Quote on Trying To Use Self-Love In Response To Pain—Not More Pain (Beyond the Quote 23/365)
Iain Thomas Quote on How The World Becomes Better (Beyond the Quote 5/365)

Stephen Cope Quote on Being Yourself and How You Can’t Be Anyone You Want To Be

“You cannot be anyone you want to be. Your one and only shot at a fulfilled life is being yourself—whoever that is. Furthermore, at a certain age it finally dawns on us that, shockingly, no one really cares what we’re doing with our life. This is a most unsettling discovery to those of us who have lived someone else’s dream and eschewed our own: No one really cares except us. When you scratch the surface, you finally discover that it doesn’t really matter a whit who else you disappoint if you’re disappointing yourself. The only question that makes sense to ask is: Is your life working for you?”
Stephen Cope, The Great Work Of Your Life

Beyond the Quote (Day 4)

If your life isn’t working for you, then who is it working for? Are you working to please yourself or someone else? Are you fulfilling dreams that are uniquely your own or dreams that were bestowed upon you by your parents? Do you feel a sense of growth and contribution when you work or do you feel a sense of dread and purposelessness?

“It is better to make many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.”
Proverb

Beyond the Quote (Day 3)

When it comes to following through with new goals or resolutions, don’t be an all-or-nothing; be an all-or-something. An all-or-nothing is the type of person who is either all-in or all-out. Either everything they planned is unfolding perfectly and is being executed flawlessly, or it’s not and they place blame, come up with excuses, and quit.

“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” ~ F.M. Alexander, James Clear Blog

“‘One day I’ll make it.’ Is your goal taking up so much of your attention that you reduce the present moment to a means to an end? Is it taking the joy out of your doing? Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind pattern, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and nonfulfillment, don’t you agree?”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 85) (Read Matt’s Blog on this quote)

“You must determine where you are going in your life, because you cannot get there unless you move in that direction. Random wandering will not move you forward. It will instead disappoint and frustrate you and make you anxious and unhappy and hard to get along with (and then resentful, and then vengeful, and then worse).”
Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules for Life (Page 282) (Read Matt’s Blog on this quote)