Jordan Peterson Quote on Life Priorities and How “Triviality” Can Be Deceptive

“[The] appearance of triviality is deceptive: it is the things that occur every single day that truly make up our lives, and time spent the same way over and again adds up at an alarming rate.”

Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 117)

Beyond the Quote (207/365)

It’s the healthy-or-not lifestyle that shapes the person, not the random workouts. It’s the career that defines the person, not the few-and-far-between vacations. It’s the everyday interactions with your friends and family that makes up the quality of the relationships, not the random and spontaneous adventures that you might take. Sure, the exotic and extraordinary moments of life might leave an impact, but it’s the mundane and ordinary moments that occur every single day that make up the life.

The simple, mundane, and trivial that we experience consistently every day is like the base of the cake. The exotic, extraordinary, spontaneous moments are like the frosting, sprinkles, and cherry. Without the base of the cake—you have no cake! You have a plate with frosting, sprinkles, and a cherry on it. You might as well just grab a spoon and eat it out of the container. What goes on top of the cake isn’t what makes the cake. It’s what’s underneath all of that stuff that makes the cake.

And so is true with our lives. It’s what’s underneath all of the exotic, extraordinary, and spontaneous moments that makes up a life. The appearance of triviality is, as Peterson points out above, deceptive. It happens every day so it starts to slip below our radar. We start to ignore the daily tasks, brush off the responsibilities that call on us regularly, and overlook the lackluster moments as just not worth our time and attention. And that’s a grave mistake.

Because it is precisely in those daily tasks, regular responsibilities, and “lackluster” moments that the majority—the cake—of your life is made. Your healthy-or-not lifestyle is shaped in your daily meals, relative activity level, and lackluster moments in how you’re able to delay gratification. Your career fulfillment comes from the daily interactions you have with your coworkers and boss, how you connect emotionally to your work responsibilities, and the vibe you feel when things get tough or when things go well. The quality of your relationships is determined by your daily tone and effort in communication, the little actions you take to show the other person you care, and the maturity you show when managing tough situations.

Flowers and a bottle of wine don’t fix bad relationships. An exotic paid-for vacation doesn’t fix an awful job. An incredibly intense workout won’t fix an unhealthy lifestyle. The world’s best frosting won’t fix a non-existent cake. Don’t underestimate what’s trivial. Don’t overlook the mundane moments of your day. Take a look at those moments with fresh eyes. Realize that it’s precisely what you might consider to be “trivial” that actually might be what’s most important. Focus less on what’s superficial—what goes on top—and focus more on what’s deep—what’s below. THAT is how you change the entire feel of your life—not by adding a cherry on top.

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