“To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness, addressing, and amending. I like to remember this as spot, stop, swap. First, we become aware of a feeling or issue—we spot it. Then we pause to address what the feeling is and where it comes from—we stop to consider it. And last, we amend our behavior—we swap in a new way of processing the moment.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“I know that when I hear the question ‘What’s new?’ I instantly forget everything that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. On any given day, I try to think about something interesting going on in my life right now to avoid this paralysis. It really helps to have a go-to answer to ‘How was your week?’ that isn’t along the lines of ‘Fine, nothing.’ (Jury Duty was GREAT for this. Now I have to come up with something else!)”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Playing is the opposite of fighting. If you’re in an argument that’s going in circles, suggest switching roles: ‘I make your point, and you make mine.’ It helps with empathy, yes, but also brings humor and levity to a strained situation.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“We may never completely purge ourselves of envy, jealousy, greed, lust, anger, pride, and illusion, but that doesn’t mean we should ever stop trying. In Sanskrit, the word anartha generally means ‘things not wanted,’ and to practice anartha-nivritti is to remove that which is unwanted. We think freedom means being able to say whatever we want. We think freedom means that we can pursue all our desires. Real freedom is letting go of things not wanted, the unchecked desires that lead us to unwanted ends.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, via Think Like A Monk (Page 29)
“There is no commandment that says we have to be upset by the way other people treat us. The reason we are upset is because we have an emotional program that says, ‘If someone is nasty to me, I cannot be happy or feel good about myself.’ …Instead of reacting compulsively and retaliating, we could enjoy our freedom as human beings and refuse to be upset.”
Thomas Keating, via Think Like A Monk (Page 28)
“One the day I moved to the ashram with six other new monks traveling from England, they told us to think of our new home as a hospital, where we were all patients. Becoming a monk, detaching from material life, was not seen as an achievement in and of itself. It simply meant that we were ready to be admitted to a place of healing where we could work to overcome the illnesses of the soul that infected us and weakened us.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 27)
“We have three core emotional needs, which I like to think of as peace, love, and understanding. Negativity—in conversation, emotions, and actions—often springs from a threat to one of the three needs: a fear that bad things are going to happen (loss of peace, a fear of not being loved (loss of love), or a fear of being disrespected (loss of understanding).”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 23)
“It is impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.”
Daisaku Ikeda, via Think Like A Monk (Page 20)
“It’s essential to work on something you’re deeply interested in. Interest will drive you to work harder than mere diligence ever could. The three most powerful motives are curiosity, delight, and the desire to do something impressive. Sometimes they converge, and that combination is the most powerful of all.”
Paul Graham
“There are always more ways to be pulled up than to be pulled down.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 16)
“We can’t address our thoughts and explore our minds when we’re preoccupied. Nor does just sitting in your home teach you anything. There are three ways I suggest you actively create space for reflection. First, on a daily basis I recommend you sit down to reflect on how the day went and what emotions you’re feeling. Second, once a month you can approximate the change that I found at the ashram by going someplace you’ve never been before to explore yourself in a different environment. This can be anything from visiting a park or library you’ve never been to before to taking a trip. Finally, get involved in something that’s meaningful to you—a hobby, a charity, a political cause.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 12)
“I was happily pedaling along on the rail trail when three spandex speedsters blew by me on their handmade carbon bikes. For a moment, I was disheartened. What’s the point–they’re speedy, I’m not. Then I realize that it’s not a bike race, it’s a bike ride. There is no winning, just the riding.”
Seth Godin
“Most of us don’t sit down and think about our values. We don’t like to be alone with our own thoughts. Our inclination is to avoid silence, to try to fill our heads, to keep moving. If you go to a networking event every day and have to tell people what you do for a living, it’s hard to step away from that reduction of who you are. If you watch Real Housewives every night, you start to think that throwing glasses of wine in your friends’ faces is routine behavior. When we fill up our lives and leave ourselves no room to reflect, those distractions become our values by default.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 11)
“When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves. In that silence, I recognize the difference between outside noise and my own voice. I could clear away the dust of others to see my core beliefs.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 11)
“All paralyzed people—psychologically paralyzed, spiritually paralyzed—live life in hell. And how do they create it? The secret is that they live in fear; they only do a certain thing when there is no fear, but then there is nothing left worth doing. All that is worth doing has certain fears around it.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 58)
“My decision to join the ashram turned up the volume of opinions and concerns around me, but, conveniently, my experiences in the ashram had also given me the tools I needed to filter out that noise. The cause and the solution were the same. I was less vulnerable to the noises around me, telling me what was normal, safe, practical, best. I didn’t shut out the people who loved me—I cared about them and didn’t want them to worry—but neither did I let their definitions of success and happiness dictate my choices. It was—at the time—the hardest decision I’d ever made, and it was the right one.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 6)
“When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 6)
“My belief of book writing is much the same as my belief as to shoemaking. The man who will work the hardest at it, and will work with the most honest purpose, will work the best. All trades are now uphill work, & require a man to suffer much disappointment, and this trade more almost than any other. I was at it for years & wrote ten volumes before I made a shilling –, I say all this, which is very much in the guise of a sermon, because I must endeavor to make you understand that a man or woman must learn the tricks of his trade before he [or she] can make money by writing.”
Anthony Trollope
“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”
Bhagavad Gita 3.35, via Think Like A Monk (Page 3)