“When we deny fear, our problems follow us. In fact, they’re probably getting bigger, and bigger, and at some point something will force us to deal with them. When all else fails, pain does make us pay attention. If we don’t learn from the signal that alerts us to a problem, we’ll end up learning from the results of the problem itself, which is far less desirable. But if we face our fear—we stay, we deal with the fire, we have the tough conversation—we become stronger as a result.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 62)
“Think of something great that happened to you. Perhaps it was the birth of a child or getting that new job you wanted. Let yourself feel that joy for a moment. Now rewind to the events that occurred just before it. What was going on in your life before the birth of your child or before you were selected for that job? Perhaps it was months and months of trying unsuccessfully to conceive or being rejected from three other jobs you’d applied for. Now try to see that narrative as a whole story—a progression from the bad to the good. Open yourself to the idea that perhaps what happened during the challenging time was actually clearing the way for what you’re now celebrating, or made you feel even happier about the experience that came after it. Now take a moment to express gratitude for those challenges and weave them into the story of your life.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 61)
“Ask yourself: ‘What am I afraid of losing?’ Start with the externals: Is it your car, your house, your looks? Write down everything you think of. Now think about the internals: your reputation, your status, your sense of belonging? Write those down too. These combined lists are likely to be the greatest sources of pain in your life—your fear of having these things taken away. Now start thinking about changing your mental relationship with those things so that you are less attached to them. Remember—you can still fully love and enjoy your parter, your children, your home, your money, from a space of nonattachment. It’s about understanding and accepting that all things are temporary and that we can’t truly own or control anything, so that we can fully appreciate these things and they can enhance our life rather than be a source of griping and fear.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 57)
“Those strong winds that hit hard are not really enemies. They help to integrate you. They look as if they will uproot you, but in fighting with them you become rooted.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 70)
“We want to see [fear] as its own entity, separate from us. When we talk about our emotions, we usually say we are that emotion. I am angry. I am sad. I am afraid. Talking to our fear separates it from us and helps us understand that the fear is not us, it is just something we’re experiencing. When you meet someone who gives off a negative vibe, you feel it, but you don’t think that vibe is you. It’s the same with our emotions—they are something we’re feeling, but they are not us. Try shifting from I am angry to I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel afraid. A simple change, but a profound one because it puts our emotions in their rightful place.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 55)
“When you deal with fear and hardship, you realize that you’re capable of dealing with fear and hardship. This gives you a new perspective: the confidence that when bad things happen, you will find ways to handle them. With that increased objectivity, you become better able to differentiate what’s actually worth being afraid of and what’s not.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 51)
“Being scared of exam results was what I call a branch. As you develop your relationship with your fear, you’ll have to distinguish between branches—the immediate fears that come up during your self-interview—and the root. Tracking my fear of exam results and the other ‘branch’ fears that appeared led me to the root: fearing I couldn’t make my parents happy.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 49)
“Openness is vulnerability. When you are open, you feel at the same time that something wrong can enter you. That is not just a feeling; it is a possibility. That’s why people are closed. If you open the door for the friend to come in, the enemy can also enter. Clever people have closed their doors. To avoid the enemy, they don’t even open the door for the friend. But then their whole life becomes dead. But there is nothing that could happen, because basically we have nothing to lose—and that which we have cannot be lost. That which can be lost is not worth keeping. When this understanding becomes tacit, one remains open.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 67)
“In a way, overwork is selfish (no matter how much the workaholic claims they are doing it for other people). Because it deprives them and the world of that later fertility. It causes needless breakdown and injury. As Seneca observed, ‘Constant work gives rise to a certain kind of dullness and feebleness in the rational soul.’ Nobody likes the person who is all business all the time. So go out and live today. Rest from your labor. Come back better for it. Come back improved and sharper for it. That’s the idea.”
Ryan Holiday
“Books hold most of the secrets of the world, most of the thoughts that men and women have had. And when you are reading a book, you and the author are alone together—just the two of you. A library is a good place to go when you feel unhappy, for there, in a book, you may find encouragement and comfort. A library is a good place to go when you feel bewildered or undecided, for there, in a book, you may have your question answered. Books are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people—people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book.”
EB White, Letters to the Children of Troy
“Forgiveness has to flow in both directions. None of us is perfect, and though there will be situations where you are blameless, there are also times when there are missteps on both sides of a conflict. When you cause pain and others cause you pain, it’s as if your hearts get twisted together into an uncomfortable knot. When we forgive, we start to separate our pain from theirs and to heal ourselves emotionally. But when we ask for forgiveness at the same time, we untwist together. This is a bit trickier, because we’re much more comfortable finding fault in other people and then forgiving it. We’re not used to admitting fault and taking responsibility for what we create in our lives.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 43)
“Just by being okay, how will you love? Why be so miserly about it? But there are many people who are stuck at okayness. They have lost all energy just because of their ideas. Okayness is like a person who is not sick but who is also not healthy, just so-so. He is not ill, but he is not alive and healthy. He cannot celebrate.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 66)
“Anticipation can soften despair. Always have something on the calendar that you’re looking forward to.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Before we find our way to forgiveness, we are stuck in anger. We may even want revenge, to return the pain that a person has inflicted on us. An eye for an eye. Revenge is the mode of ignorance—it’s often said that you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else. Monks don’t hinge their choices and feelings on others’ behaviors. You believe revenge will make you feel better because of how the other person will react. But when you make your vindictive play and the person doesn’t have the response you fantasized about—guess what? You only feel more pain. Revenge backfires.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 39)
“In English, we have the words ’empathy’ and ‘compassion’ to express our ability to feel the pain that others suffer, but we don’t have a word for experiencing vicarious joy—joy on behalf of other people. Perhaps this is a sign that we all need to work on it. Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others. If I only find joy in my own successes, I’m limiting my joy. But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I get to experience fifty times the happiness and joy. Who doesn’t want that?”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 37)
“Showing up is the ultimate act of love. Go to every wedding and every funeral. But more importantly: Go to every sick person’s bedside.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Curiosity is a cure-all for social anxiety. If you’re nervous on a date, ask more questions than you answer.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 35)