“If you worry and nothing’s wrong, you’ve wasted precious time over nothing. If you worry and something is wrong, you’ve still wasted precious time.”
Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha
Beyond the Quote (131/365)
What higher purpose does worrying serve? Let’s assume for a few moments that since we all do it so much that it serves some sort of higher purpose—otherwise, why would we continue doing it so damn much? Worrying is sort of like concerned thinking. When you break those two components down—thinking and concern—they both certainly can be argued as serving us in beneficial ways. So where’s the issue? Let’s dive a little deeper.
First, thinking helps you sort through the wide array of thoughts you might have in response to a given situation. By thinking, you essentially run simulations in your head of how certain actions might play out and you narrow down your options to the one action (or set of actions) that might play out the best for your reality. This certainly beats acting without thinking! I think we can all agree on that.
What about being concerned? Well, concern is synonymous with caring and compassion—all of which are excellent traits to be in touch with. When you are concerned you are thinking about the wellbeing of yourself or another. It keeps you from selfishly acting on your own accord and in irresponsible or otherwise hurtful ways. When you are concerned about somebody, it’s usually because you care about them and want them to be okay. Concern, therefore, keeps the wellbeing of yourself and others in mind which, of course, is beneficial and can certainly be constructive.
So, why is it that when you combine these two, seemingly useful components together that they become, as Deschene points out, a waste of precious time? As with most things in life, what makes worrying wasteful isn’t necessarily the act of worrying itself, it’s the scale at which a person might worry and what comes from the actual act of worrying.
As mentioned above, thinking can certainly be beneficial, but it’s also important to point out that there is a point of diminishing returns when you can also think too much. Once you run through your array of mental simulations and you narrow in on your options for action steps—you need to act! If you refuse to act and choose to re-run simulations over and over again, you’re going to overthink yourself into a tizzy (or into other more serious mental health problems). If, after you think through a problem as thoroughly as you can and you still can’t narrow in on any good options—choosing to get more information or choosing the better of two evils are both valid decisions. You can seek help, ask for advice, read books, check Google, listen to Podcasts, or even meditate. The only decision that isn’t valid, that is going to be a waste of your precious times is doing nothing (unless doing nothing is the action that you decided was the best option).
The same is true for concern. It’s good to be concerned for yourself and others, as we outlined above. But, when you become overly concerned to the point of anxiety or panic—you’ve crossed the threshold of what’s helpful and are at the point of diminishing returns. The purpose of a healthy concern is to drive you to action. If you’re concerned about your grandmother being lonely, it’s supposed to drive you to do something about it—not just obsessively think about it all day. And the same is true for anything else you might be concerned about.
This is where it might become more clear to you why worrying—excessive worrying—is wasteful. Worrying is in your head. Worrying is mental simulations. Worrying doesn’t serve you because it doesn’t accomplish anything—until it does. How do you make worrying serve you? By acting on it. If you act and it turns out that nothing was wrong in the first place, then you can move on—worry-free. If you act and it turns out that something was wrong, then you can smile knowing that you did some good—and you move on. But if you don’t act, and continue to worry, then yes, you’re wasting your precious time. And that’s one hell of a thing to waste.
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