“Learning to observe and tolerate your physical reactions is a prerequisite for safely revisiting the past. If you cannot tolerate what you are feeling right now, opening up the past will only compound the misery and retraumatize you further.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 211)
“Most of our conscious brain is dedicated to focusing on the outside world: getting along with others and making plans for the future. However, that does not help us manage ourselves. Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 208)
“A problem can be dropped so easily if you understand that it is you holding the problem, not the problem holding you.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 32)
“In order to regain control over your self, you need to revisit the trauma: Sooner or later you need to confront what has happened to you, but only after you feel safe and will not be retraumatized by it. The first order of business is to find ways to cope with feeling overwhelmed by the sensations and emotions associated with the past.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 206) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself. The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind—of your self. This means feeling free to know what you know and to feel what you feel without becoming overwhelmed, enraged, ashamed, or collapsed. For most people this involves (1) finding a way to become calm and focused, (2) learning to maintain that calm in response to images, thoughts, sounds, or physical sensations that remind you of the past, (3) finding a way to be fully alive in the present and engaged with the people around you, (4) not having to keep secrets from yourself, including secrets about the ways that you have managed to survive.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 205) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“[Stoicism] is not a philosophy for the weak or the cowardly. Stoicism is about facing the truth, about thinking about the unthinkable. Not just as it’s happening, but long before. Keep all the possibilities before you, including—especially—the bad ones. Keep your eyes open. Beware.Think it. Because you might be able to prevent it. And if you can’t, at least you’ll be able to handle the reality of its existence and then respond to it accordingly.”
Ryan Holiday
“It sucks that you were lied to, stolen from, abused, cheated, your trust taken advantage of. There’s no way you can get that back. But what you can do is make sure that the most important thing of all remains in your possession: Your love of other people. Your tolerance for them. Your willingness to help and do good for them. Don’t let that be stolen too. It’s priceless.”
Ryan Holiday
“Nobody can ‘treat’ a war, or abuse, rape, molestation, or any other horrendous event, for that matter; what has happened cannot be undone. But what can be dealt with are the imprints of the trauma on body, mind, and soul: the crushing sensations in your chest that you may label as anxiety or depression; the fear of losing control; always being on alert for danger or rejection; the self-loathing; the nightmares and flashbacks; the fog that keeps you from staying on task and from engaging fully in what you are doing; being unable to fully open your heart to another human being.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 205) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“I don’t go to therapy to find out if I’m a freak
Dar Williams, What Do You Hear in These Sounds
I go and I find the one and only answer every week
And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think
That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink
But, oh how I loved everybody else
When I finally got to talk so much about myself”
“Meditation simply means becoming empty of all the contents of the mind: memory, imagination, thoughts, desires, expectations, projections, moods. Once has to go on emptying oneself of all these contents. The greatest day in life is when you cannot find anything in you to throw out; all has already been thrown out, and there is only pure emptiness. In that emptiness you will find yourself; in that emptiness you find your pure consciousness.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 30)
“Social support is a biological necessity, not an option, and this reality should be the backbone of all prevention and treatment. Recognizing the profound effects of trauma and deprivation on child development need not lead to blaming parents. We can assume that parents do the best they can, but all parents need help to nurture their kids.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 169) | ★ Featured on this book list.