Archives
“Anticipation can soften despair. Always have something on the calendar that you’re looking forward to.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Before we find our way to forgiveness, we are stuck in anger. We may even want revenge, to return the pain that a person has inflicted on us. An eye for an eye. Revenge is the mode of ignorance—it’s often said that you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else. Monks don’t hinge their choices and feelings on others’ behaviors. You believe revenge will make you feel better because of how the other person will react. But when you make your vindictive play and the person doesn’t have the response you fantasized about—guess what? You only feel more pain. Revenge backfires.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 39)
“In English, we have the words ’empathy’ and ‘compassion’ to express our ability to feel the pain that others suffer, but we don’t have a word for experiencing vicarious joy—joy on behalf of other people. Perhaps this is a sign that we all need to work on it. Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others. If I only find joy in my own successes, I’m limiting my joy. But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I get to experience fifty times the happiness and joy. Who doesn’t want that?”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 37)
“Showing up is the ultimate act of love. Go to every wedding and every funeral. But more importantly: Go to every sick person’s bedside.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Curiosity is a cure-all for social anxiety. If you’re nervous on a date, ask more questions than you answer.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 35)
“To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness, addressing, and amending. I like to remember this as spot, stop, swap. First, we become aware of a feeling or issue—we spot it. Then we pause to address what the feeling is and where it comes from—we stop to consider it. And last, we amend our behavior—we swap in a new way of processing the moment.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“I know that when I hear the question ‘What’s new?’ I instantly forget everything that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. On any given day, I try to think about something interesting going on in my life right now to avoid this paralysis. It really helps to have a go-to answer to ‘How was your week?’ that isn’t along the lines of ‘Fine, nothing.’ (Jury Duty was GREAT for this. Now I have to come up with something else!)”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Playing is the opposite of fighting. If you’re in an argument that’s going in circles, suggest switching roles: ‘I make your point, and you make mine.’ It helps with empathy, yes, but also brings humor and levity to a strained situation.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“We may never completely purge ourselves of envy, jealousy, greed, lust, anger, pride, and illusion, but that doesn’t mean we should ever stop trying. In Sanskrit, the word anartha generally means ‘things not wanted,’ and to practice anartha-nivritti is to remove that which is unwanted. We think freedom means being able to say whatever we want. We think freedom means that we can pursue all our desires. Real freedom is letting go of things not wanted, the unchecked desires that lead us to unwanted ends.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, via Think Like A Monk (Page 29)