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    “Fred, who had more hardships than most people but was highly grateful, wanted to live to 110; my mother, who had more advantages than most people, saw no point in living.  Advantages alone—even awareness of them—weren’t enough, perhaps because they can be lost.  Gratitude, on the other hand, was an affirmation that the world gave you things, and might continue to do so.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 122)

      “Thanks are the highest form of thought, and… gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” ~ G. K. Chesterton, via Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 118)

        “If you believe you are in control of your life, steering it in a course of your choosing, then old age is an affront, because it is a destination you didn’t choose.  But if you think of life instead as an improvisation in response to the stream of events coming at you—that is, a response to the world as it is—then old age is more another chapter in a long-running story.  The events are different, but they’re always different, and always some seem too much to bear.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 114)

          “Problems [are] only problems if you [think] about them that way.  Otherwise they [are] life—and yours for the living.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 113)

            “We’re made better by loving unconditionally: embracing the perfections in our imperfect mate, accepting that they’ll never change, growing into our own perfections by loving them.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)

              “Maybe it is a liberty of younger people to think that the best mate is the one you don’t have: a stranger you haven’t met yet or an improved version of your current partner.  It favors the future over the present and past—natural when the future looks long and full of potential, less so when you know what’s coming.  But it also obscures or diminishes the partner you really have.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)

                “The drive for trading up, wanting the new and improved, may fuel humanity’s progress, but it also creates a lot of dissatisfaction and anxiety.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)

                  “I have no feeling of an afterlife at all.  As a matter of fact, I hope not.  I can’t imagine anything going on forever.  I miss Walter and I wish I could meet him in another life, but I know I won’t.  Actually, it’s rather soothing.  It is all going to end; I don’t see anything wrong with that.” ~ John Sorensen, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 83)

                    “Bad relationships may be more harmful than good relationships are beneficial.” ~ Laura Carstensen, via Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 68)

                      “How to be happy?  Here was a start.  Accept whatever kindnesses people offer you, and repay with what you can.  Let a friend buy you lunch, then do her a solid in return.  You’ll benefit from the favors you receive, but even more from the ones you perform.  Don’t begrudge the people who need you; thank them for letting you help them.  Give up the obsession with self-reliance; it’s a myth, anyway.  None of these comes naturally to me, and even as I write them now, they seem too pat.  But in Helen and Howie I saw them in action, again and again, and here is what I saw: they worked.  They weren’t genius; they were wisdom.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 62)

                        “In a relationship, sometimes taking—allowing the other person to do something for you, rather than insisting on doing it yourself—is also a kind of giving.  The same applies in friendships or business relationships.  True generosity includes enabling others to be generous.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 60)