Viktor Frankl Quote on Influence and How To Nurture Greatness in Others

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.”

Viktor Frankl, Brain Pickings

Beyond the Quote (323/365)

For those who are trying to influence greatness in others I suggest this: don’t demand greatness; create the environment for greatness and let greatness flower as it may. Of course when you take the time to plant a seed, you want it to flower to its full potential—to become the greatest flower it has the potential to be. After all, you’re investing all of this time and energy into preparing its soil, watering it daily, protecting it from leaf-eating predators, and ensuring it has bountiful access to sunlight. Nobody wants to invest all of that time and energy into a seed that fails to flower to its full potential.

But, the solution to a flower that doesn’t blossom to its full potential isn’t to demand it to do so. The thought is ridiculous. The only thing you can do is continuously refocus your time and energy into the environment—it is the only variable that is within your control. The divine nature and biological potential of the seed is packaged within the seed—it is beyond our realm of understanding and influence. We can’t manipulate a seed from the inside—only from the outside. And so it is with the divine nature and biological potential of the people in our lives, too.

For the people we are trying to influence to be great—whether it be students, followers, family members, friends, or even our own kids—we have to let greatness flower as it may. Demanding greatness is a dangerous practice. While the underlying intention may be pure, the general act of demanding causes unpure results.

When you manipulate a flower to blossom into something you imagine it being versus something it would naturally become, it takes on a manipulated form. It is no longer natural. It is no longer a product unto itself—it becomes a product unto your imagination and desire. It becomes externally masked into something that it knows it is not from the inside. You will have created a disconnect and the fight for unity between the flower’s inner and outer identity will begin. You will have robbed the flower of peace and you will have given it conflict instead. And in that, there is no greatness.

The problem, of course, is that we become impartial to some “seeds” in our lives over others. It is this impartiality that we become blind. We want desperately for some seeds to blossom into the greatest flowers the world has ever seen simply because they are ours. They are the seeds that we have raised. They are the seeds that we have invested time and energy into. They are the seeds that we have provided for. And the problem, of course, is that it’s precisely that possessiveness that leads us to place expectations and demands onto something that is not ours. Our ego gets in the way and we place our own self worth into the flowering of a seed that is completely separate from ourselves. It results in the kind of blindness that takes pure intentions and leads to harmful actions.

You cannot force greatness. You cannot manipulate greatness. You cannot want greatness more than the seed itself wants greatness. You can, however, force yourself to provide the greatest of environments possible. And you can manipulate the type of soil your seed is planted in and how much water and sunlight it receives. And you can want the absolute best for your seed and shower it with unconditional love and opportunity. But, don’t demand. Don’t possess. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Let the flowers you care for flower as they may. And appreciate them all for how they do. Have you ever demanded a flower in your garden to be greater than it was? Have you ever seen an imperfect flower on your walk in the park? Have you ever questioned a flower on a hike for its blossoming choices? So, why would we treat the other flowers in our lives differently?

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