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Richard Carlson Quote on Judging and Criticizing Other People

    “When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”

    Richard Carlson

    Beyond the Quote (25/365)

    Not only does criticizing and judging other people say something about our own need to be critical, but it acts as a mirror that reveals far more about our own character than it ever does about the person being targeted.  In other words, what we’re ACTUALLY doing when we’re talking about someone else is, ironically, talking solely about ourselves.  Think about it.

    Read More »Richard Carlson Quote on Judging and Criticizing Other People

    Iain Thomas Quote on Trying To Use Self-Love In Response To Pain—Not More Pain

      “Why do we hurt ourselves more, when other people hurt us?  Why do we beat ourselves up, for feeling beat up?  Maybe the lesser pain you cause yourself distracts you from the bigger pain inside.  And it’s easy to get stuck in a kind of loop of pain.  You’re hurt, so you hurt yourself some more.  But the correct response to pain, is self-love.  When we’re hurt, we need to take better care of ourselves.  Not worse.  It can be hard to be conscious in the moment and remember to be kind to ourselves when someone hurts us.  But you need to try.”

      Iain Thomas, Every Word You Cannot Say (Page 116)

      Beyond the Quote (23/365)

      What does beating ourselves up look like?  It can manifest in destructive self-talk: “Why am I such an idiot?!” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” “Why do I even bother trying?  It’s not like anything is going to change.”  It can manifest in negative talk and conversation which might include tearing down the people around you, purposefully excluding yourself from social situations because you don’t feel worthy, or even inserting yourself into the role of being a victim, a loser, a trouble-maker, or a target.  It might also manifest in physical harm.  This is where you might see people punching walls (or other assorted objects), purposefully not taking care of themselves, or even abusing drugs, alcohol, or other substances.  Why do any of this at all?  Maybe because the pain it causes distracts us from a bigger pain inside.

      Read More »Iain Thomas Quote on Trying To Use Self-Love In Response To Pain—Not More Pain

        “Here is the secret we all know:  We all want to love.  We’re all afraid we are alone.  We’re afraid no one will know who we are.  Because on some level, we all know you can die without love, without anyone, without even you knowing who you are.  (Unless you take care of you, and give yourself love.  Unless you meet yourself, inside yourself.  Unless you know yourself like you were meant to.  Forgive yourself for being you—you have done nothing wrong and tomorrow is another chance.  I swear, there is a day after, every day.)” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 68)

          “To treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for helping is what would be truly good for you.  This is not ‘what you want.’  It is also not ‘what would make you happy.’  Every time you give a child something sweet, you make that child happy.  That does not mean that you should do nothing for children except feed them candy.  ‘Happy’ is by no means synonymous with ‘good.’  You must get children to brush their teeth.  They must put on their snowsuits when they go outside in the cold, even though they might object strenuously.  You must help a child become a virtuous, responsible, awake being, capable of full reciprocity—able to take care of himself and others, and to thrive while doing so.  Why would you think it acceptable to do anything less for yourself?” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 62)

            “We deserve some respect.  You deserve some respect.  You are important to other people, as much as to yourself.  You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world.  You are, therefore, morally obliged to take care of yourself.  You should take care of, help and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help and be good to someone you loved and valued.  You may therefore have to conduct yourself habitually in a manner that allows you some respect for your own Being—and fair enough.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 62)

              “Until we have met the monsters in ourselves, we keep trying to slay them in the outer world.  And we find that we cannot.  For all darkness in the world stems from darkness in the heart.  And it is there that we must do our work.” ~ Marianne Williamson

                “How we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.” ~ Susan David, Ph.D, Mindful