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Mira Kirshenbaum Quote on Self-Care and How Important It Is To Give To Yourself

    “If you don’t give to yourself, you will suffer damage.”

    Mira Kirshenbaum, The Gift of a Year (Page 16)

    Beyond the Quote (230/365)

    More specifically, if you don’t give to yourself some of your own time, energy, and effort—you will suffer damage. And we’re not talking about presents. You can live just fine without ever buying yourself superfluous gifts. What you can’t live “just fine” without, however, are the gifts of “you” time, the self-directed energy required for self-discovery and healing, and the personal effort it takes to overcome challenges and become your best you. If you only ever direct your time, energy, and effort towards others—where are you supposed to get the time, energy, and effort required to maintain, upgrade, and improve yourself?

    Read More »Mira Kirshenbaum Quote on Self-Care and How Important It Is To Give To Yourself

      “Giving yourself the gift of a year has a magical impact on your life because it restores the natural, necessary balance between giving to yourself and giving to others. There’s no reason for you to leave yourself outside of the equation. In the ecology of your life, you’re as important as anyone. If things curdle inside of you because you’ve neglected yourself, then ultimately they curdle for everyone.”

      Mira Kirshenbaum, The Gift of a Year (Page 10)

      Susan David Quote on Having Emotional Agility and Staying Balanced in the Face of Complexity

        “How we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.”

        Susan David, Ph.D, Mindful

        Beyond the Quote (127/365)

        As a result of people being in quarantine because of COVID-19, there have been two conversations that have been happening at large. One group has been pushing for productivity. The idea is to use all of this extra time to do more of that you felt you never had time to do before. Start that blog; write that book; lose that weight; create that website; become that person. The other group has been pushing for conscientious recovery. The idea is that this global pandemic has radically affected all of our lives and has redefined “normal.” We need to be taking this time to mindfully cope with all of new unknowns and pay close attention to our mental health during this global crisis. Both of these schools of thought should be carefully considered by everybody.

        Read More »Susan David Quote on Having Emotional Agility and Staying Balanced in the Face of Complexity

        Anne Lamott Quote on Unplugging and the Reality of Burnout

          “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… Including you.”

          Anne Lamott

          Beyond the Quote (114/365)

          Following through on a commitment is something that you can choose to do or choose not to do. Burning out is something that happens—it’s not something that you can choose against. When there’s no more gas in the car, you can’t choose to magically have more gas with the snap of your fingers—you need a gas station for that. When there’s no more battery juice left in your phone, you can’t choose to boost your battery life with positive thinking—you need a charging cable for that. When there’s no more energy left inside you—mental, physical, or emotional—you can’t demand more energy to appear through even the most disciplined thinking—you need rest, recover, and self-care for that.

          Read More »Anne Lamott Quote on Unplugging and the Reality of Burnout

            “Whatever you’re feeling, be good to yourself. If you feel lost, be patient with yourself while you find your way. If you feel scared, be gentle with yourself while you find the strength to face your fear. If you feel hurt, be kind to yourself while you grieve and slowly heal. You can’t bully yourself into clarity, courage, or peace, and you can’t rush self-discovery or transformation. Some things simply take time, so take the pressure off and give yourself space to grow.”

            Lori Deschene

              “To be self-compassionate is not to be self-indulgent or self-centered. A major component of self-compassion is to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with love, care, dignity and make your wellbeing a priority. With self-compassion, we still hold ourselves accountable professionally and personally, but there are no toxic emotions inflicted upon and towards ourselves.”

              Christopher Dines

                “Mental stillness will be short-lived if our hearts are on fire, or our souls ache with emptiness. We are incapable of seeing what is essential in the world if we are blind to what’s going on within us. We cannot be in harmony with anyone or anything if the need for more, more , more is gnawing at our insides like a maggot.”

                Ryan Holiday, Stillness is the Key (Page 94)

                  “Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest at all in the numbing of our souls.”

                  Epictetus, via Stillness is the Key (Page 83)

                  Don Miguel Ruiz Quote on Creating the Perfect Relationships—Starting With The One You Have With Yourself

                    “When you make it your goal to create the perfect relationship between you and your body, you are learning to have a perfect relationship with anyone you are with, including your mother, your friends, your lover, your children, your dog.  When you have the perfect relationship between you and your body, in that moment your half of any relationship outside you is completely fulfilled.  You no longer depend upon the success of a relationship from the outside.”

                    Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love

                    Beyond the Quote (66/365)

                    The most you can ever contribute to the success of a relationship is 50%.  The fact that it’s a relationship implies that there are two and 100% of one out of two is 50%.  This isn’t to say that the most effort you can ever put forth is 50%.  You can undoubtedly give your 100%, but it’s only ever going to add up to 50% as a part of the whole relationship.  This is one of the key mindsets to understand in order to maintain a healthy relationship.  Let’s take a look at an example.

                    Read More »Don Miguel Ruiz Quote on Creating the Perfect Relationships—Starting With The One You Have With Yourself

                    Iain Thomas Quote on Trying To Use Self-Love In Response To Pain—Not More Pain

                      “Why do we hurt ourselves more, when other people hurt us?  Why do we beat ourselves up, for feeling beat up?  Maybe the lesser pain you cause yourself distracts you from the bigger pain inside.  And it’s easy to get stuck in a kind of loop of pain.  You’re hurt, so you hurt yourself some more.  But the correct response to pain, is self-love.  When we’re hurt, we need to take better care of ourselves.  Not worse.  It can be hard to be conscious in the moment and remember to be kind to ourselves when someone hurts us.  But you need to try.”

                      Iain Thomas, Every Word You Cannot Say (Page 116)

                      Beyond the Quote (23/365)

                      What does beating ourselves up look like?  It can manifest in destructive self-talk: “Why am I such an idiot?!” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” “Why do I even bother trying?  It’s not like anything is going to change.”  It can manifest in negative talk and conversation which might include tearing down the people around you, purposefully excluding yourself from social situations because you don’t feel worthy, or even inserting yourself into the role of being a victim, a loser, a trouble-maker, or a target.  It might also manifest in physical harm.  This is where you might see people punching walls (or other assorted objects), purposefully not taking care of themselves, or even abusing drugs, alcohol, or other substances.  Why do any of this at all?  Maybe because the pain it causes distracts us from a bigger pain inside.

                      Read More »Iain Thomas Quote on Trying To Use Self-Love In Response To Pain—Not More Pain

                        “Don’t reorganize the state until you have ordered your own experience.  Have some humility.  If you cannot bring peace to your household, how dare you try to rule a city?” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 158)

                          “To treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for helping is what would be truly good for you.  This is not ‘what you want.’  It is also not ‘what would make you happy.’  Every time you give a child something sweet, you make that child happy.  That does not mean that you should do nothing for children except feed them candy.  ‘Happy’ is by no means synonymous with ‘good.’  You must get children to brush their teeth.  They must put on their snowsuits when they go outside in the cold, even though they might object strenuously.  You must help a child become a virtuous, responsible, awake being, capable of full reciprocity—able to take care of himself and others, and to thrive while doing so.  Why would you think it acceptable to do anything less for yourself?” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 62)

                            “Every person is deeply flawed.  Everyone falls short of the glory of God.  If that stark fact meant, however, that we had no responsibility to care, for ourselves as much as others, everyone would be brutally punished all the time.  That would not be good.  That would make the shortcomings of the world, which can make everyone who thinks honestly question the very propriety of the world, worse in every way.  That simply cannot be the proper path forward.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 62)

                              “We deserve some respect.  You deserve some respect.  You are important to other people, as much as to yourself.  You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world.  You are, therefore, morally obliged to take care of yourself.  You should take care of, help and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help and be good to someone you loved and valued.  You may therefore have to conduct yourself habitually in a manner that allows you some respect for your own Being—and fair enough.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 62)