“In the struggle against injustice, it’s easy to let bitterness and hatred harden your heart. As Marcus Aurelius wrote: ‘What doesn’t transmit light creates its own darkness.’ When we close ourselves off to love and hope, we naturally experience less love and hope. The Bible reminds us that ‘whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.’ And James Baldwin, that ‘hatred…has never failed to destroy the men who hated.’ Hatred corrodes. It takes you south, backward, down, down to depths. Love, on the other hand, protects, trusts, hopes, preserves. Love does not fail. It takes you north, it leads you forward. It always wins. Which way are you going? Is your heart growing or shrinking? Is your love and compassion and connection for other people, your hope for a better future, growing or shrinking?”
Ryan Holiday
“Before we find our way to forgiveness, we are stuck in anger. We may even want revenge, to return the pain that a person has inflicted on us. An eye for an eye. Revenge is the mode of ignorance—it’s often said that you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else. Monks don’t hinge their choices and feelings on others’ behaviors. You believe revenge will make you feel better because of how the other person will react. But when you make your vindictive play and the person doesn’t have the response you fantasized about—guess what? You only feel more pain. Revenge backfires.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 39)
“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (Page 46)
“The real glow up isn’t proving the people from your past wrong. It is finally feeling so content and hopeful about your future that you stop thinking about them entirely.”
Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You (Page 170)
“The greatest virtue is to do no evil, even to your enemies. If you respect yourself, you will not commit evil, even in the slightest way.”
Indian Wisdom, via A Calendar of Wisdom (Page 170)
“The best revenge is to exact no revenge at all. If someone treats you rudely and you respond with rudeness, you have not done anything but prove to them that they were justified in their actions. If you meet other people’s dishonesty with dishonesty of your own, guess what? You’re proving them right—now everyone is a liar.”
Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic (Page 306)
“How much better to heal than seek revenge from injury. Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it. Anger always outlasts hurt. Best to take the opposite course. Would anyone think it normal to return a kick to a mule or a bite to a dog?”
Seneca, On Anger, The Daily Stoic (Page 306)
A Short Story Told By Nelson Mandela and What It Really Means To Leave Bitterness and Hatred Behind
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
Nelson Mandela
Read the following short story first. It lays the scene for what, “leaving bitterness and hatred behind” really means. The speaker in the story is Nelson Mandela himself and the credit for the story goes to Geoff Pentz via FaceBook. My thoughts to follow.
Read More »A Short Story Told By Nelson Mandela and What It Really Means To Leave Bitterness and Hatred BehindZen Parable on Grudges and Letting Things Go
Excerpt: The following is a short story about a monk who carried a wealthy woman across muddy water. What he says to his upset disciple may shock you.
Read More »Zen Parable on Grudges and Letting Things Go
