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    “You can be in love and you can be in a relationship.  But they’re not always the same thing.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

      “Making love was never about you and me in a bed.  We made love whenever we held hands.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

        “Let’s play hopscotch in malls.  Let’s drive fast with the top down.  Let’s turn up the music as loud as it’ll go.  Let’s put a couch on an island in the middle of the freeway and wave at everyone on their way to work.  Let’s hug strangers in parking lots.  Let’s hand out secret messages at traffic lights.  Let’s make lists of all the things that make us smile and tick them off, one at a time.  The world will carry on without you and me when we’re gone.  Let it carry on without us, today.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

          “The words, ‘I love you’ become nothing but noise.  But that’s why we kiss.  To say with our lips what we couldn’t before.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

            “I’m sure people just kiss each other.  I’m sure that sometimes you’re talking and somehow two people move closer and closer to each other and then, they just kiss.  I’m sure it happens all the time.  But I’m also sure that a kiss is never just a kiss.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

              “Of course it’s complicated.  If it wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be interested in you.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

                “Even if we have a lot of money in the bank, we can die very easily from our suffering.  So, investing in a friend, making a friend into a real friend, building a community of friends, is a much better source of security.  We will have someone to lean on, to come to, during our difficult moments.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

                The ground of real love:

                  “We really have to understand the person we want to love.  If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.  If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.  We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love.  This is the ground of real love.  You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

                  — The More: —

                  Take Action:  From time to time, sit close to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, “Darling, do I understand you enough?  Or am I making you suffer?  Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly.  I don’t want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be happy.”  If you say this in a voice that communicates your real openness to understand, the other person may cry.  That is a good sign, because it means the door of understanding is opening and everything will be possible again.

                  Comment:  Do you feel that you and your partner understand each other deeply?  If so, what methods have kept the doors of understanding so open for you and your relationship?

                    “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce.  You look into the reasons it is not doing well.  It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun.  You never blame the lettuce.  Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person.  But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce.  Blaming has not positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.  That is my experience.  No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding.  If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

                      “We often ask, ‘What’s wrong?’ Doing so, we invite painful seeds of sorrow to come up and manifest.  We feel suffering, anger, and depression, and produce more such seeds.  We would be much happier if we tried to stay in touch with the healthy, joyful seeds inside of us and around us.  We should learn to ask, ‘What’s not wrong?’ and be in touch with that.  There are so many elements in the world and within our bodies, feelings, perceptions, and consciousness that are wholesome, refreshing, and healing.  If we block ourselves, if we stay in the prison of our sorrow, we will not be in touch with these healing elements.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

                        “Someone who speaks badly to us may have been spoken to in exactly the same way just the day before, or by his alcoholic father when he was a child.  When we see and understand these kinds of causes, we can begin to be free from our anger.  I am not saying that someone who viciously attacks us should not be disciplined.  But what is most important is that we first take care of the seeds of negativity in ourselves.  Then if someone needs to be helped or disciplined, we will do so out of compassion, not anger and retribution.  If we genuinely try to understand the suffering of another person, we are more likely to act in a way that will help him overcome his suffering and confusion, and that will help all of us.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

                          “Anger is rooted in our lack of understanding of ourselves and of the causes, deep-seated as well as immediate, that brought about this unpleasant state of affairs.  Anger is also rooted in desire, pride, agitation, and suspicion.  The primary roots of our anger are in ourselves.  Our environment and other people are only secondary.  It is not difficult for us to accept the enormous damage brought about by a natural disaster, such as an earthquake or a flood.  But when damage is caused by another person, we don’t have much patience.  We know that earthquakes and floods have causes, and we should see that the person who has precipitated our anger also has reasons, deep-seated and immediate, for what he has done.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step