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Thich Nhat Hanh Quote on Suffering and Having Compassion For Those Who Are In Pain

    “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over.  He does not need punishment; he needs help.  That’s the message he is sending.”

    Thich Nhat Hanh

    Beyond the Quote (76/365)

    Below, you will find an exchange between another person and I in regards to the quote above and the caption I put up for it.  It’s a good exchange and there are elements that I think are worth elaborating on and discussing.  Here is the exchange:

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    Don Miguel Ruiz Quote on Creating the Perfect Relationships—Starting With The One You Have With Yourself

      “When you make it your goal to create the perfect relationship between you and your body, you are learning to have a perfect relationship with anyone you are with, including your mother, your friends, your lover, your children, your dog.  When you have the perfect relationship between you and your body, in that moment your half of any relationship outside you is completely fulfilled.  You no longer depend upon the success of a relationship from the outside.”

      Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love

      Beyond the Quote (66/365)

      The most you can ever contribute to the success of a relationship is 50%.  The fact that it’s a relationship implies that there are two and 100% of one out of two is 50%.  This isn’t to say that the most effort you can ever put forth is 50%.  You can undoubtedly give your 100%, but it’s only ever going to add up to 50% as a part of the whole relationship.  This is one of the key mindsets to understand in order to maintain a healthy relationship.  Let’s take a look at an example.

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      Gregory Stock Quote on Friendship—and What Your Friends Say About You

        “What could someone figure out about you by the friends you’ve chosen? …Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you?  Less or more talented and successful than you?  Do they share your values?  Ambitions?  Interests?”

        Gregory Stock, The Book of Questions

        Beyond the Quote (62/365)

        You could probably learn a lot about someone by the friends they’ve chosen.  In fact, I’m a firm believer in the idea that you are a product of who you surround yourself with the most.  How could you not be?  Your close friends are the ones who have the greatest influence over you.  They’re the ones who you spend the most time with, who you challenge to games and do activities with, who you poke around with intellectually, who you have deep conversations with (or at least conversations beyond the superficial), and who you measure (and ultimately align) values, ambitions, and interests with.  While this certainly isn’t always the case, I feel like it is more often than it’s not and can definitely provide noteworthy insights that will help you better understand your current situation.

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          “When you are arguing with someone, you want to be right, and you want the other person to be wrong.  Then it’s them that has to sacrifice something and change, not you, and that’s much preferable.  If it’s you that’s wrong and you that must change, then you have to reconsider yourself—your memories of the past, your manner of being in the present, and your plans for the future.  Then you must resolve to improve and figure out how to do that.  Then you actually have to do it.  That’s exhausting.  It takes repeated practice, to instantiate the new perceptions and make the new actions habitual.  It’s much easier just not to realize, admit and engage.  It’s much easier to turn your attention away from the truth and remain wilfully blind.” ~ Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules for Life (Page 357)

            “When you love someone, it’s not despite their limitations. It’s because of their limitations.  Of course, it’s complicated.  You don’t have to be in love with every shortcoming, and merely accept.  You shouldn’t stop trying to make life better, or let suffering just be.  But there appear to be limits on the path to improvement beyond which we might not want to go, lest we sacrifice our humanity itself.”

            Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 347)

            Quote on Loving People Without Placing Expectations On Them Of Who You Think They Should Be

              “In order to make a relationship last, you really have to flow with a person as they change. Give them space. My friend always told me about his grandfather who was with his wife for 60 years before she passed. His grandfather said that through all that time, his wife changed so much it felt like he had been with 8 different people by the end. But he said the secret to making it last was that through all those changes, he never suffocated his wife with his own idea of who he expected her to be. Rather he loved, fully, every new woman she became.”

              Unknown

              Beyond the Quote (45/365)

              Don’t suffocate your loved ones.  The more they feel suffocated, the more space they will need to breathe.  The more tightly you squeeze them, the more freedom they will need.  The more smothered they feel with expectations, the more resistance and disappointment you both will feel.  Love should not be suffocating; it should be spacious.  Love should not be limiting; it should be enabling.  Love should not be expected; it should be given—unconditionally and in full.

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              Quote About Being Patient and Not Chasing Anything Or Anyone

                “I no longer chase anything or anyone. I work for what I want and I remain patient while going after it. So called friends who want to go, can go. Lovers who have forgotten how to love me, can go. I do not have energy to chase what is not for me. Life is too short for me to run miles for people who don’t take steps for me.”

                Unknown, Relationship Rules

                Beyond the Quote (32/365)

                Anything forced is ugly.  This is an expression that I find myself referencing often in my life.  Relationships of all kinds should be a metaphorical (and sometimes literal) joining of the hands and a shared walking forward of the same path, with excitement, grace, and love.  Relationships should never be a “tugging” of one person from one path to another.  And relationships certainly should never be “forced” or a “dragging” of one person who is trying to walk on a path of their own down a path of your own.  Forced relationships are ugly.

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                  “It’s a good idea to tell the person you are confronting exactly what you would like them to do instead of what they have done or currently are doing.  You might think, ‘if they loved me, they would know what to do.’ That’s the voice of resentment.  Assume ignorance before malevolence.  No one has a direct pipeline to your wants and needs—not even you.  If you try to determine exactly what you want, you might find that it is more difficult than you think.  The person oppressing you is likely no wiser than you, especially about you.  Tell them directly what would be preferable, instead, after you have sorted it out.  Make your request as small and reasonable as possible—but ensure that its fulfillment would satisfy you.  In that manner, you come to the discussion with a solution, instead of just a problem.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 287)

                    “You know yourself mostly by your thoughts.  Everyone else in the world knows you only by your actions.  Remember this when you feel misunderstood. You have to do or say something for others to know how you feel.” ~ James Clear, Blog