“We’re made better by loving unconditionally: embracing the perfections in our imperfect mate, accepting that they’ll never change, growing into our own perfections by loving them.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)
“Maybe it is a liberty of younger people to think that the best mate is the one you don’t have: a stranger you haven’t met yet or an improved version of your current partner. It favors the future over the present and past—natural when the future looks long and full of potential, less so when you know what’s coming. But it also obscures or diminishes the partner you really have.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)
“In life one’s parter is often boring or mundane, but in memory he never is.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 81)
“Bad relationships may be more harmful than good relationships are beneficial.” ~ Laura Carstensen, via Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 68)
“How to be happy? Here was a start. Accept whatever kindnesses people offer you, and repay with what you can. Let a friend buy you lunch, then do her a solid in return. You’ll benefit from the favors you receive, but even more from the ones you perform. Don’t begrudge the people who need you; thank them for letting you help them. Give up the obsession with self-reliance; it’s a myth, anyway. None of these comes naturally to me, and even as I write them now, they seem too pat. But in Helen and Howie I saw them in action, again and again, and here is what I saw: they worked. They weren’t genius; they were wisdom.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 62)
“In a relationship, sometimes taking—allowing the other person to do something for you, rather than insisting on doing it yourself—is also a kind of giving. The same applies in friendships or business relationships. True generosity includes enabling others to be generous.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 60)
“No one finds a match so perfect that the need for continued attention and work vanishes (and, besides, if you found the perfect person, he or she would run away from ever-so-imperfect you in justifiable horror). In truth, what you need—what you deserve, after all—is someone exactly as imperfect as you.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 273)
