“In English, we have the words ’empathy’ and ‘compassion’ to express our ability to feel the pain that others suffer, but we don’t have a word for experiencing vicarious joy—joy on behalf of other people. Perhaps this is a sign that we all need to work on it. Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others. If I only find joy in my own successes, I’m limiting my joy. But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I get to experience fifty times the happiness and joy. Who doesn’t want that?”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 37)
Quotes from Think Like A Monk
“Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 35)
“To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness, addressing, and amending. I like to remember this as spot, stop, swap. First, we become aware of a feeling or issue—we spot it. Then we pause to address what the feeling is and where it comes from—we stop to consider it. And last, we amend our behavior—we swap in a new way of processing the moment.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“We may never completely purge ourselves of envy, jealousy, greed, lust, anger, pride, and illusion, but that doesn’t mean we should ever stop trying. In Sanskrit, the word anartha generally means ‘things not wanted,’ and to practice anartha-nivritti is to remove that which is unwanted. We think freedom means being able to say whatever we want. We think freedom means that we can pursue all our desires. Real freedom is letting go of things not wanted, the unchecked desires that lead us to unwanted ends.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, via Think Like A Monk (Page 29)
“There is no commandment that says we have to be upset by the way other people treat us. The reason we are upset is because we have an emotional program that says, ‘If someone is nasty to me, I cannot be happy or feel good about myself.’ …Instead of reacting compulsively and retaliating, we could enjoy our freedom as human beings and refuse to be upset.”
Thomas Keating, via Think Like A Monk (Page 28)
“One the day I moved to the ashram with six other new monks traveling from England, they told us to think of our new home as a hospital, where we were all patients. Becoming a monk, detaching from material life, was not seen as an achievement in and of itself. It simply meant that we were ready to be admitted to a place of healing where we could work to overcome the illnesses of the soul that infected us and weakened us.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 27)
“We have three core emotional needs, which I like to think of as peace, love, and understanding. Negativity—in conversation, emotions, and actions—often springs from a threat to one of the three needs: a fear that bad things are going to happen (loss of peace, a fear of not being loved (loss of love), or a fear of being disrespected (loss of understanding).”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 23)
“It is impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others.”
Daisaku Ikeda, via Think Like A Monk (Page 20)
“There are always more ways to be pulled up than to be pulled down.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 16)
“We can’t address our thoughts and explore our minds when we’re preoccupied. Nor does just sitting in your home teach you anything. There are three ways I suggest you actively create space for reflection. First, on a daily basis I recommend you sit down to reflect on how the day went and what emotions you’re feeling. Second, once a month you can approximate the change that I found at the ashram by going someplace you’ve never been before to explore yourself in a different environment. This can be anything from visiting a park or library you’ve never been to before to taking a trip. Finally, get involved in something that’s meaningful to you—a hobby, a charity, a political cause.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 12)
“Most of us don’t sit down and think about our values. We don’t like to be alone with our own thoughts. Our inclination is to avoid silence, to try to fill our heads, to keep moving. If you go to a networking event every day and have to tell people what you do for a living, it’s hard to step away from that reduction of who you are. If you watch Real Housewives every night, you start to think that throwing glasses of wine in your friends’ faces is routine behavior. When we fill up our lives and leave ourselves no room to reflect, those distractions become our values by default.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 11)
“When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves. In that silence, I recognize the difference between outside noise and my own voice. I could clear away the dust of others to see my core beliefs.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 11)
“My decision to join the ashram turned up the volume of opinions and concerns around me, but, conveniently, my experiences in the ashram had also given me the tools I needed to filter out that noise. The cause and the solution were the same. I was less vulnerable to the noises around me, telling me what was normal, safe, practical, best. I didn’t shut out the people who loved me—I cared about them and didn’t want them to worry—but neither did I let their definitions of success and happiness dictate my choices. It was—at the time—the hardest decision I’d ever made, and it was the right one.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 6)
“When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 6)
“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”
Bhagavad Gita 3.35, via Think Like A Monk (Page 3)
“When you get stressed—what changes? Your breath. When you get angry—what changes? Your breath. We experience every emotion with the change of the breath. When you learn to navigate and manage your breath, you can navigate any situation in life.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page xviii)
“The goal of monk thinking is a life free of ego, envy, lust, anxiety, anger, bitterness, baggage. To my mind, adopting the monk mindset isn’t just possible—it’s necessary. We have no other choice. We need to find calm, stillness, and peace.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page xvii)
“A layperson who is consciously aiming to be continuously alive in the Now is a monk.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page Xii)
Think Like A Monk [Book]
Book Overview: In this inspiring, empowering book, Shetty draws on his time as a monk to show us how we can clear the roadblocks to our potential and power. Combining ancient wisdom and his own rich experiences in the ashram, Think Like a Monk reveals how to overcome negative thoughts and habits, and access the calm and purpose that lie within all of us. He transforms abstract lessons into advice and exercises we can all apply to reduce stress, improve relationships, and give the gifts we find in ourselves to the world. Shetty proves that everyone can—and should—think like a monk.
Post(s) Inspired by this Book:
Short Story of A Dejected Young Man Who Seeks Enlightenment Minus the Meditation and Fasting
An Exercise In Forgiveness—To Help You Let Go Of Anger and Find Peace
How Do I Know If Meditation Is Working?
A Wise Woman’s Advice To A Young Man Whose Life Was “Full Of Pain” [Excerpt]