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When you understand, you cannot help but love.

    “When you understand, you cannot help but love.  You cannot get angry.  To develop understanding, you have to practice looking at all loving beings with the eyes of compassion.  When you understand, you cannot help but love.  And when you love, you naturally act in a way that can relieve the suffering of people.”

    Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

    — The More: —

    Quote in action:  Suppose your son wakes up one morning and sees that it is already quite late.  He decides to wake up his younger sister, to give her enough time to eat breakfast before going to school.  It happens that she is grouchy and instead of saying, “Thank you for waking me up,” she says, “Shut up! Leave me alone!” and kicks him.  He will probably get angry, thinking, “I woke her up nicely.  Why did she kick me?”  He may want to go to the kitchen and tell you about it, or even kick her back.  But then he remembers that during the night his sister coughed a lot, and he realizes that she must be sick.  Maybe she behaved so meanly because she has a cold.  At that moment, he understands, and he is not angry at all anymore.

    Comment:  Have you ever had a moment of understanding that dissolved all of your anger towards another person?

      “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce.  You look into the reasons it is not doing well.  It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun.  You never blame the lettuce.  Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person.  But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce.  Blaming has not positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.  That is my experience.  No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding.  If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

        “Someone who speaks badly to us may have been spoken to in exactly the same way just the day before, or by his alcoholic father when he was a child.  When we see and understand these kinds of causes, we can begin to be free from our anger.  I am not saying that someone who viciously attacks us should not be disciplined.  But what is most important is that we first take care of the seeds of negativity in ourselves.  Then if someone needs to be helped or disciplined, we will do so out of compassion, not anger and retribution.  If we genuinely try to understand the suffering of another person, we are more likely to act in a way that will help him overcome his suffering and confusion, and that will help all of us.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

          “Anger is rooted in our lack of understanding of ourselves and of the causes, deep-seated as well as immediate, that brought about this unpleasant state of affairs.  Anger is also rooted in desire, pride, agitation, and suspicion.  The primary roots of our anger are in ourselves.  Our environment and other people are only secondary.  It is not difficult for us to accept the enormous damage brought about by a natural disaster, such as an earthquake or a flood.  But when damage is caused by another person, we don’t have much patience.  We know that earthquakes and floods have causes, and we should see that the person who has precipitated our anger also has reasons, deep-seated and immediate, for what he has done.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

            “Today many people live the external life exclusively, and when the inner world erupts or stirs, they rush to a therapist or druggist for help. They try to explain profound mythic developments in the language of behavior and experience. Often they have no idea what is happening to them, because they have been so cut off from the deep self. Their own soul is so alien to them that they are unaware of what is going on outside the known realm of fact. Former methods of keeping in touch with the inner life have gone out of mode. Diaries, letters, and deep conversations help focus attention on developments and materials that lie beneath the surface. Only one hundred years ago, without benefit of typewriters and word processors, people kept elaborate, long and detailed diaries and notebooks. We seem to have left behind these methods of reflection in favor of technologies for action.”

            Thomas Moore, Original Self | ★ Featured on this book list.

              “When we get angry, we suffer. If you really understand that, you also will be able to understand that when the other person is angry, it means that she is suffering. When someone insults you or behaves violently towards you, you have to be intelligent enough to see that the person suffers from his own violence and anger. But we tend to forget. We think that we are the only one that suffers, and the other person is our oppressor. This is enough to make anger arise, and to strengthen our desire to punish. We want to punish the other person because we suffer. Then, we have anger in us; we have violence in us, just as they do. When we see that our suffering and anger are no different from their suffering and anger, we will behave more compassionately. So understanding the other is understanding yourself, and understanding yourself is understanding the other person. Everything must begin with you.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

                “It takes courage, of course, to step out of the fray, as it takes courage to do anything that’s necessary, whether tending to a loved one on her deathbed or turning away from that sugarcoated doughnut. And with billions of our global neighbors in crying need, with so much in every life that has to be done, it can sound selfish to take a break or go off to a quiet place. But as soon as you do sit still, you find that it actually brings you closer to others, in both understanding and sympathy. As the meditative video artist Bill Viola notes, it’s the man who steps away from the world whose sleeve is wet with tears for it.” ~ Pico Iyer, The Art of Stillness

                The Road Less Traveled [Book]

                  The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck

                  By: Scott Peck

                  From this Book:  28 Quotes

                  Book Overview: Written in a voice that is timeless in its message of understanding, The Road Less Traveled continues to help us explore the very nature of loving relationships and leads us toward a new serenity and fullness of life. It helps us learn how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become a more sensitive parent; and ultimately how to become one’s own true self.  Recognizing that, as in the famous opening line of his book, “Life is difficult” and that the journey to spiritual growth is a long one, Dr. Peck never bullies his readers, but rather guides them gently through the hard and often painful process of change toward a higher level of self-understanding.

                  Buy from Amazon!  Listen on Audible!

                  Great on Kindle. Great Experience. Great Value. The Kindle edition of this book comes highly recommended on Amazon.

                  Post(s) Inspired by this Book:

                  1. 5 Powerful Reasons Why You Should Stop Selectively Listening and Start Truly Listening to Children.
                  2. 15 Quotes from The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck

                    “Be generous with your time and your resources and with giving credit and, especially, with your words. It’s so much easier to be a critic than a celebrator. Always remember there is a human being on the other end of every exchange and behind every cultural artifact being critiqued. To understand and be understood, those are among life’s greatest gifts, and every interaction is an opportunity to exchange them.” ~ Maria Popova, Brain Pickings

                      “A man of understanding, a man who understands himself and others, always feels compassion. Even if somebody is an enemy you have compassion toward him because a man of understanding can understand the viewpoint of the other also. He knows why the other feels as he feels, he knows why the other is angry, because he knows his own self, and in knowing that, he has known all others.”

                      Osho, The Book of Understanding (page 206)

                        “The mediocre mind has no capacity for understanding. It is stuck somewhere near thirteen years in its mental age, or even below it. The person may be forty, fifty, seventy years old – that does not matter, that is the physical age. He has been growing old, but he has not been growing up. You should note the distinction. Growing old, every animal does. Growing up, only a few human beings manage.”

                        Osho, The Book of Understanding (page 177)

                          “A true religion will have the humbleness to admit that only a few things are known, much more is unknown, and something will always remain unknowable. That ‘something’ is the target of the whole spiritual search. You cannot make it an object of knowledge, but you can experience it, you can drink of it, you can have the taste of it – it is existential.”

                          Osho, The Book of Understanding (page 73)

                            “The extent to which you learn more about the world increases the depth of your experience.  To live smarter means to live fuller.  It also means to be aware of how much you can never know.  To understand the limits of your knowledge is a wonderful thing.  It is our responsibility as human beings to deliberately take advantage of the fact that we are living at a time when valuable information is more accessible than ever before.” ~ Unknown, The Daily Zen

                              “You understand sleep when you are awake, not while you are sleeping.  You can see mistakes in arithmetic when your mind is working properly; while you are making them you cannot see them.  Good people know about both bad and evil; bad people do not know about either.” ~ C.S. Lewis