“Our common stories of oppression should unite us much more than our fears of each other can ever separate us. My high school classmates and I feared something because we were told to. Fears download themselves through generations, not always in explicit ways. Our parents may not always be directly telling us who we can and can’t love, or who we can and can’t accept in our lives. More often, such messages are unspoken, and never updated.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 163)
Humble the Poet Quote on Comparing Ourselves To Others (and Why That Can Be Dangerous)
“I was comparing myself to everyone and anyone I encountered. If I was making music and met a well-off stockbroker, my mind would ask, ‘Why aren’t you selling stocks?’ When money got better, but I met someone with a beautiful body, I’d ask, ‘Why aren’t you spending more time in the gym?’ I would identify all the gaps in my life on the basis of whomever I crossed paths with. That’s a dangerous thing because everyone we meet will always have something we don’t have.”
Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 121)
Beyond the Quote (77/365)
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who somebody else is today. As Humble mentions above, you’re going to meet people who have more money; who have more beautiful bodies; who are more popular; who are more intelligent than you. What you can’t do when you meet them is compare where you are on your journey to where they are on their journey.
Read More »Humble the Poet Quote on Comparing Ourselves To Others (and Why That Can Be Dangerous)
“The people we have won’t always be here, so let’s not deprive ourselves of their presence simply because we’re too caught up in wanting more of some other stuff. That other stuff won’t last either—nothing does. So let’s appreciate who and what we have while we still have it. If we’re not happy with what we have, we won’t be very happy with all that we get.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 22)
“Remembering that the people in our lives won’t be here forever is the best way to motivate us to be as wonderful to them as possible, while they’re still here. It’s tricky, since we’re not really wired to remember this fact, but when we make the active effort to keep it in mind, beautiful choices come from that effort.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 22)
“I decided that if someone wasn’t helping me get to where I needed to be, then that person most likely was getting in my way. I didn’t make any proclamations or write anybody a Dear John letter, thus liberating myself from their harmful clutches. I didn’t say a thing to anybody; I just stopped engaging with people who I felt were standing in my way rather than helping me and I began to focus more on myself.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 16)
“When you are arguing with someone, you want to be right, and you want the other person to be wrong. Then it’s them that has to sacrifice something and change, not you, and that’s much preferable. If it’s you that’s wrong and you that must change, then you have to reconsider yourself—your memories of the past, your manner of being in the present, and your plans for the future. Then you must resolve to improve and figure out how to do that. Then you actually have to do it. That’s exhausting. It takes repeated practice, to instantiate the new perceptions and make the new actions habitual. It’s much easier just not to realize, admit and engage. It’s much easier to turn your attention away from the truth and remain wilfully blind.” ~ Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules for Life (Page 357)
The Minimalists’ Quote on Changing The People Around You
“You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.”
The Minimalists, Everything That Remains
Beyond the Quote (34/365)
Sure we might influence or inspire the people around us to change, but we certainly can’t force them to change. Change is an inside-out job. It’s something that a person has to want themselves and something they have to manifest from within. The outside-in approach simply doesn’t work. You can yell and scream and shout and argue with a person until the veins in your neck pop out—a person won’t change until they decide they’re ready, willing, and capable of change.
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“Everyone you meet along the way is just someone at a different point in their story. So be patient and kind. But don’t let anyone tell you how your story should go. Only you know how your story goes.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 24)
“You know yourself mostly by your thoughts. Everyone else in the world knows you only by your actions. Remember this when you feel misunderstood. You have to do or say something for others to know how you feel.” ~ James Clear, Blog
“While there is no guarantee of success in leadership, there is one thing that is certain: leading people is the most challenging and, therefore, the most gratifying undertaking of all human endeavors.” ~ Jocko Willink, Extreme Ownership (Page 287)
“Bad relationships may be more harmful than good relationships are beneficial.” ~ Laura Carstensen, via Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 68)
