Excerpt: The story of two wolves. One is all things good. The other is all things bad. They both live inside. Which will win? The answer is in the tale…
“All of our emotions have value, and as unpleasant as some are, they’re reminders that we’re alive and have a whole lot going on inside. Why not approach life with curiosity and wonder, instead of dread and fear. We don’t avoid movies because we know they’ll end. We enjoy the journey they take us on.”
Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 46)
Emotions are a signal of the state of your being. Many people categorize emotions as being either “positive” or “negative.” I think this is a dangerous practice that can lead you to suppress, ignore, invalidate, or even deny very valid signals from your body. Better to look at some emotions as being more desirable than others. States of happiness, excitement, enthusiasm, and joy, of course, are typically more desirable than sadness, anxiousness, or anger. But, don’t get it twisted. Sadness, anxiety, or anger are not “negative” emotions, per se.
Read More »Humble the Poet Quote on Emotional Intelligence and How To Deal With “Less Desirable” Emotions“The game is full of ebbs and flows—the good, the bad, and everything in between. With all that was going on around me, I had to figure out how to steel my mind and keep calm and centered. That’s not to say my emotions didn’t spike or drop here or there, but I was aware enough to recalibrate and bring them back level before things spiraled. I could do that in a way others couldn’t, and that was really key for me.”
Kobe Bryant, Mamba Mentality (Page 175)
And so it is for life, eh? The game of life is full of ebbs and flows—the good, the bad, and everything in between. I think 2020 highlights that in more intense ways than in many years of recent past—especially for Kobe—may he rest in peace. And while it’s natural to hope that things go back to “normal” and that the ebbs and flows “level out” so that they may be more easily managed—it would be unrealistic and naive to expect it to actually happen. The ebbs will continue to ebb and the flows will continue to flow, like they always have and like they always will. So, what then are we to do?
Read More »Kobe Bryant Quote on Keeping Calm and Centered in Basketball and in Life“When there is no way out, there is still always a way through. So don’t turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. Feel it—don’t think about it! Express it if necessary, but don’t create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not to the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it. Don’t let the mind use the pain to create a victim identity for yourself out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering. Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift. So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it but don’t act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is. Stay alert, stay present—present with your whole Being, with every cell of your body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness.”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 222)
“When you deny emotional pain, everything you do or think as well as your relationships become contaminated with it. You broadcast it, so to speak, as the energy you emanate, and others will pick it up subliminally. If they are unconscious, they may even feel compelled to attack or hurt you in some way, or you may hurt them in an unconscious projection of your pain. You attract and manifest whatever corresponds to your inner state.”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 222)
“How we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.”
Susan David, Ph.D, Mindful
As a result of people being in quarantine because of COVID-19, there have been two conversations that have been happening at large. One group has been pushing for productivity. The idea is to use all of this extra time to do more of that you felt you never had time to do before. Start that blog; write that book; lose that weight; create that website; become that person. The other group has been pushing for conscientious recovery. The idea is that this global pandemic has radically affected all of our lives and has redefined “normal.” We need to be taking this time to mindfully cope with all of new unknowns and pay close attention to our mental health during this global crisis. Both of these schools of thought should be carefully considered by everybody.
Read More »Susan David Quote on Having Emotional Agility and Staying Balanced in the Face of ComplexityBook Overview: #1 New York Times bestseller Milk and Honey is a collection of poetry and prose about survival. About the experience of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity. The book is divided into four chapters, and each chapter serves a different purpose. Deals with a different pain. Heals a different heartache. Milk and Honey takes readers through a journey of the most bitter moments in life and finds sweetness in them because there is sweetness everywhere if you are just willing to look.
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Post(s) Inspired by this Book:
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
Kahlil Gibran
Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker. Then all of the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Read More »Kahlil Gibran Quote on Giving To Others That Which You Most Hope To Receive (and Knowing What to Give)“Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest at all in the numbing of our souls.”
Epictetus, via Stillness is the Key (Page 83)
“Whenever you feel sad, sit by the side of a tree, by the side of the river, by the side of a rock, and just relax into your sadness without any fear. The more you relax, the more you will become acquainted with the beauties of sadness. Then sadness will start changing its form; it will become a silent joy, uncaused by anybody outside you. That will not be shallow happiness, which can be taken away very easily. And getting deeper into your aloneness, one day you will find not only joy – joy is only midway. Happiness is very superficial, depends on others; joy is in the middles, does not depend on anyone. But going deeper you will come to the state of bliss – that’s what I call enlightenment.”
Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
Whenever you are feeling a deep emotion—sit with it. Do not rush to do anything else. Do not turn on the TV; do not turn on a podcast; do not log into your social media accounts; do not pour a glass of wine; do not conduct busywork; do not go shopping; do not experiment with drugs; do not call your ex. Just, sit with it.
Read More »Osho Quote on Sadness and How To Relax Into It, Change Its Form, and Look Deeper Into It“Be confused, it’s where you begin to learn new things. Be broken, it’s where you begin to heal. Be frustrated, it’s where you start to make more authentic decisions. Be sad, because if we are brave enough we can hear our heart’s wisdom through it. Be whatever you are right now. No more hiding. You are worthy, always.”
S. C. Lourie
Life doesn’t always have to be sunshine and rainbows. And it certainly runs deeper than smiles and ease. But you already know this. You’ve felt it: the confusion, the sadness, the frustration, the brokenness, the misery, the pain—it’s all a part of the experience of life. What you need to know is that it’s okay to feel these emotions. It doesn’t make you any less human to feel the breadth and depth of the emotional spectrum—if anything, it makes you more human.
Read More »S. C. Lourie Quote on Being Worthy and Accepting of Where You Are—No More Hiding“All of our emotions have value, and as unpleasant as some are, they’re reminders that we’re alive and have a whole lot going on inside. Why not approach life with curiosity and wonder, instead of dread and fear. We don’t avoid movies because we know they’ll end. We enjoy the journey they take us on. Our journey is life, and no one makes it out alive; the finish is death, so let’s enjoy life while we can, with those we love, while they’re still here.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 46)
“Make it a habit to monitor your mental-emotional state through self-observation. ‘Am I at ease at this moment?’ is a good question to ask yourself frequently. Or you can ask: ‘What’s going on inside me at this moment?’ Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 77)
For so many of us, the gap between an outside stimulus and our response is immediate and reflexive. We react with the immediate feelings and emotions that arise without really knowing what those feelings and emotions even are—until after the fact. Acting and then thinking has it’s time and it’s place, but so does thinking and then acting. Get it wrong and things could get far more complicated and challenging than they need to.
Read More »Eckhart Tolle Quote on Monitoring Your Mental-Emotional State To Keep Your Inside Right“When we push aside difficult emotions in order to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop deep skills to help us deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.”
Susan David, Ph.D, Mindful
This is the problem with positive thinking from a superficial standpoint. If something sad happens and you try to cover it up with happy thoughts, like a kind of mask, you get an un-dealt-with-sadness that lies suppressed inside. When something really upsets you and you try to distract your mind from confronting that “upset-ness,” those feelings will get pushed down and will continue to broil from deep within.
Read More »Susan David Quote on False Positivity and Why We Shouldn’t Push Aside Difficult Emotions“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 40)
