“When you start protecting your time, something interesting happens. People who depend on you learn to plan better themselves. They start respecting your boundaries. And the stuff that’s truly urgent becomes clear. Will some people be disappointed? Definitely. And that’s okay. Because building a meaningful life sometimes means disappointing others to avoid constantly disappointing yourself. How you spend your time is a reflection of your priorities. And you don’t need to apologize for prioritizing what matters to you.”
Justin Welsh
“When we habitually prioritize other people’s urgencies, we’re really setting a precedent that our time (and our family’s time) is less important than anything else that might pop up. Our goals are less important. Our boundaries aren’t real. When we drop our work to handle someone else’s emergency, we reinforce a dangerous message: Your poor planning is more important than my well-planned day.”
Justin Welsh
“To the right of my computer monitor, between two photos of my boys, is a picture given to me by the sports psychologist Jonathan Fader. It’s the famed Dr. Oliver Sacks and behind him is a large sign he kept in his office that just said NO! By saying no—to interviews, to meetings, to ‘Can I pick your brain for a minute?’—I was saying yes to what matters: my family. My work. My sanity.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 307)
“There is a term—energy vampires—meant to describe the kind of people who, because of their lack of boundaries, suck others dry with their neediness, their selfishness, their dysfunction, and their drama. Not only must you not be an energy vampire yourself, but you must be aware that these type of people exist. You must be strong enough to keep them at arm’s distance—even if they’re beautiful, even if they’re talented, even if they’re family or old friends from childhood, even if their helplessness calls to the most empathetic part of yourself. A country without borders, it has been said, is not really a country at all. So it goes with people. Without boundaries, we are overwhelmed. We are stretched too thin. So thin that those features that previously defined us start to disappear until there’s no telling where we start and the energy vampires around us end.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 206)
“These days, I try to treat my attention like the precious resource that it is. I keep my phone on Do Not Disturb, 24/7/365. Only my wife and mother can get through. And everything else can wait. I schedule one hour of ‘thinking time’ every week. Just me, a pencil, and a notebook. No devices. I use an auto-responder on most social channels. This helps set clear expectations, and I’ve found people usually respect boundaries when you lay them out. I say no to 100% of ‘brain-pick’ requests. My mental space is non-negotiable. I’ve shared almost everything I know through social media, podcast interviews, and my digital products. My auto-responders redirect people to my content when they want advice. I protect my sleep religiously. I’m in bed by 9:30 pm most nights. And I’ve started leaving my phone in the kitchen. One of the surprising parts about all this is that my business hasn’t suffered. Because clear thinking leads to better decisions, and better decisions lead to better outcomes.”
Justin Welsh
“Everything we say yes to means saying no to something else. No one can be two places at once. No one can give all their focus to more than one thing. But the power of this reality can also work for you: Every no can also be a yes, a yes to what really matters. To rebuff one opportunity means to cultivate another. This is the key not just to professional success but also personal happiness. When someone takes ‘just a few minutes of your time,’ they aren’t just robbing you. They’re robbing your family. They’re robbing the people who you serve. They are robbing the future. The same goes for when you agree to do unimportant things, or when you commit to too much at one time. Except this time, you are the thief.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 118)
“The number of people who stand ready to consume one’s time to no purpose is almost countless.”
Booker T. Washington, via Discipline Is Destiny (Page 116)
