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Leo Babauta Quote on Not Making Exceptions—Ever

    “Exceptions lead to more exceptions. It’s really easy to justify not doing [a] new habit (or doing an old habit you’re trying to quit) by saying, ‘Just one time won’t hurt.’ Except that it will, because now you think it’s OK to make exceptions. And now you don’t really trust yourself to stick to your promise to yourself. It’s much more effective to not make exceptions — catch yourself if you’re thinking about it and trying to justify it, and remember your motivations. When I quit smoking, I told myself Not One Puff Ever (NOPE).”

    Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

    Beyond the Quote (Day 6)

    The habit changes that I have had the most success with incorporating into my lifestyle have been the ones that I have been the most strict with myself about.  When I started drinking coffee black, I told myself No Cream or Sugar Ever.  When I cut out donuts from my diet, I told myself Not One Bite Ever.  When I stopped drinking alcohol, I told myself Not One Sip Ever.  When I committed to going vegan, I told myself No Meat or Dairy Ever.  Like Babauta, I made sure there were no exceptions or ‘gray-areas’ to these habit changes—and while that might sound harsh and intense, I actually feel like it made the habit change process easier.

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      “I’ve said before that our bewildered mind is like a wild horse.  I have a very high regard for horses.  When I was in high school, I spent some time working on a ranch in West Texas.  A stallion in the distance on the high plains is a powerful sight to behold.  We don’t tame such a strong majestic creature by beating the spirit out of it.  Instead, we work with its raw power and turn that energy in a certain direction.  Where do we want to take that horse?  Where do we want to go riding?  We want to make a real journey.  We want to ride in the meadows of compassion, the gardens of awakened heart, the fields of wisdom.  This is the essence of the practice of contemplation: we learn to direct the energy of our mind toward enlightenment.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 132)

        “No one wants to lose his partner of sixty years, or to give up walking because it hurts too much, but we have some choice in how we process the loss and the life left to us.  We can focus on what we’ve lost or on the life we have now.  Health factors, as shattering as they can be, are only part of the story.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 13)

          “What you aim at determines what you see.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 96)

            “The more you ritualize the beginning of a process, the more likely it becomes that you can slip into the state of deep focus that is required to do great things.  By doing the same warm-up before every workout, you make it easier to get into a state of peak performance.  By following the same creative ritual, you make it easier to get into the hard work of creating.  By developing a consistent power-down habit, you make it easier to get to bed at a reasonable time each night.  You may not be able to automate the whole process, but you can make the first action mindless.  Make it easy to start and the rest will follow.” ~ James Clear, Atomic Habits

              “The nature of the outer, conscious mind is to receive input, process it through our story filter, and then make meaning out of it.  A problem arises when too much of what flows through our minds is negative: The conscious mind dwells on negative things and obsesses about them.  Sound familiar?  It’s well known that whatever we focus on tends to become our reality, even if the focus is on not wanting something.  Negative input can plant seeds of destruction in our subconscious mind, which then partners with our conscious mind in a conspiracy for failure.” ~ Mark Divine, The Way of the Seal

                “The perpetual winds of pleasure blow you in one direction.  The gusts of pain push you in another.  The problem is this keeps you from living your ideal life.  You’re simply bouncing around.  By defining your stand and purpose, you will be able to use them as an internal GPS.  When the winds of pain and pleasure blow, you won’t change course.” ~ Mark Divine, The Way of the Seal

                  “What do you focus on most often?  What’s your life’s obsession?  Finding love?  Making a difference?  Learning?  Earning?  Pleasing everyone?  Avoiding pain?  Changing the world?  Are you aware of what you focus on most; your primary question in life?  Whatever it is, it will shape, mold, and direct your life.” ~ Tony Robbins, Money: Master the Game

                    “The average person asks questions such as ‘How do I get by?’ or ‘Why is this happening to me?’  Some even ask questions that disempower them, causing their minds to focus on and find roadblocks instead of solutions.  Questions like ‘How come I can never lose weight?’ or ‘Why can’t I ever hang on to my money?’ only move them farther down the path of limitation.  I have been obsessed with the question of how do I make things better?  How do I help people to significantly improve the quality of their lives now?  This focus has driven me for 38 years to find or create strategies and tools that can make an immediate difference.  What about you?  What question(s) do you ask more than any other?” ~ Tony Robbins, Money: Master the Game

                      “Mastery is not a function of genius or talent.  It is a function of time and intense focus applied to a particular field of knowledge.  But there is another element, an X factor that Masters inevitably possess, that seems mystical but that is accessible to us all.  Whatever field of activity we are involved in, there is generally an accepted path to the top.  It is a path that others have followed, and because we are conformist creatures, most of us opt for this conventional route.  But Masters have a strong inner guiding system and a high level of self-awareness.  What has suited others in the past does not suit them, and they know that trying to fit into a conventional mold would only lead to a dampening of spirit, the reality they seek eluding them.  And so inevitably, these Masters, as they progress on their career paths, make a choice at a key moment in their lives: they decide to forge their own route, one that others will see as unconventional, but that suits their own spirit and rhythms and leads them closer to discovering the hidden truths of their objects of study.  This key choice takes self-confidence and self-awareness—the X factor that is necessary for attaining mastery.” ~ Robert Greene, Mastery

                        “Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous.  Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy.  Commitment makes decision-making easier and removes any fear of missing out; knowing that what you already have is good enough, why would you ever stress about chasing more, more, more again? Commitment allows you to focus intently on a few highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of success than you otherwise would.” ~ Mark Mason, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

                          “While investing deeply in one person, one place, one job, one activity might deny us the breadth of experience we’d like, pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience.  There are some experiences that you can have only when you’ve lived in the same place for five years, when you’ve been with the same person for over a decade, when you’ve been working on the same skill or craft for half your lifetime.  Now that I’m in my thirties, I can finally recognize that commitment, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would otherwise never be available to me, no matter where I went or what I did.” ~ Mark Mason, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

                            “To truly appreciate something, you must confine yourself to it.  There’s a certain level of joy and meaning that you reach in life only when you’ve spent decades investing in a single relationship, a single craft, a single career.  And you cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.” ~ Mark Mason, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

                              “You remember and dwell on all the things you’ve lost and ignore all the things you haven’t.  Because your scars are like stars.  Yet the night stays perfectly black.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You

                                “It seems that often when problems arise, our outlook becomes narrow.  All of our attention may be focused on worrying about the problem, and we may have a sense that we’re the only one that is going through such difficulties.  This can lead to a kind of self-absorption that can make the problem seem very intense.  When this happens, I think that seeing things from a wider perspective can definitely help – realizing, for instance, that there are many other people who have gone through similar experiences, and even worse experiences.  If you focus too closely, too intensely, on a problem when it occurs, it appears uncontrollable.  But if you compare that event with some other greater event, look at the same problem from a distance, then it appears smaller and less overwhelming.” ~ Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness

                                  “Leaders need to keep a singular focus, each and every day, on their ultimate goals; they need to keep them at the front of their minds as they choose their actions and strategies.  This seems so obvious but, at the same time, incredibly busy days when people are constantly asking for your attention make it easy to lose a central, goal-oriented focus.  Thus, even something as simple as putting a Post-it note that describes your ultimate goals on the corner of your computer screen can help you keep focused and slow you down so that you can facilitate and orchestrate your team’s actions directly toward your ultimate goal.”

                                  J. Keith Murnighan, Do Nothing!