“One of the ferryman’s greatest virtues was that he knew how to listen like few other people. Without a word from Vasudeva, the speaker felt that the ferryman took in his words, silent, open, waiting, missing none, impatient for none, neither praising nor blaming, but only listening. Siddhartha felt what happiness it is to unburden himself to such a listener, to sink his own life into this listener’s heart, his own seeking, his own suffering.”
Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha (Page 92)
“Hearing is one thing—listening is altogether different; they are worlds apart. Hearing is a physical phenomenon; you hear because you have ears. Listening is a spiritual phenomenon. You listen when you have attention, when your inner being joins with your ears.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 232)
“Miscommunication between two people is incredibly common because every time someone speaks they are translating their feelings into words, and then the other person has to interpret those words through the filter of their own current feelings and past emotional history. Since we are communicating through filters of perception, it takes a certain degree of calmness and emotional maturity between two people to ask each other, ‘What do you mean by this?’ or ‘Can you tell me more?’ to really understand what is being said. Communication without patience is likely to turn into conflict. Communication with patience is likely to lead to deeper connection.”
Yung Pueblo
“How to talk to people.
1. Listen.
2. Look them in the eyes (I struggle here).
3. Set your phone on silent & leave it face down on the table.
4. Don’t make small talk (everyone knows it’s cold).
5. Listen.
6. Don’t agree just for the sake of agreeing.
7. Don’t disagree just for the sake of disagreeing.
8. Listen.
9. Say something interesting.
10. Leave them better than you found them.
11. Listen.”
Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 39)
“Transforming yourself into a deep listener will not only prove more amusing as you open your mind to their mind but will also provide the most invaluable lessons about human psychology. The secret to this: finding other people endlessly fascinating.”
Robert Greene, The Daily Laws (Page 298)
“Say your son or daughter jumps into the car after soccer practice and says, ‘I hate it. I’m never going back. I quit.’ This always strikes a nerve with parents who are likely to respond with: ‘You can’t quit. Where’s your team spirit?’ or ‘Oh my God, what happened? I’m going to call the coach!’ or ‘Are you hungry? Let’s go eat. You’ll feel better.’ None of that is listening. Grilling them about what happened is interrogating. Telling them they shouldn’t feel how they feel is minimizing. And changing the subject is just maddening. Kids, like all of us, just want to be heard. Try instead, ‘Have you always felt this way?’ or ‘What would quitting mean?’ Look at it as an invitation to have a conversation, not as something to be fixed or get upset about.”
Kate Murphy, You’re Not Listening
“Learn how to listen as things speak for themselves.”
Unknown, via Narrow Road To The Interior (Page XXI)
“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.”
M. Scott Peck, via Sunbeams (Page 106)
