“Maybe it is a liberty of younger people to think that the best mate is the one you don’t have: a stranger you haven’t met yet or an improved version of your current partner. It favors the future over the present and past—natural when the future looks long and full of potential, less so when you know what’s coming. But it also obscures or diminishes the partner you really have.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)
“The drive for trading up, wanting the new and improved, may fuel humanity’s progress, but it also creates a lot of dissatisfaction and anxiety.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 84)
“In life one’s parter is often boring or mundane, but in memory he never is.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 81)
“How to be happy? Here was a start. Accept whatever kindnesses people offer you, and repay with what you can. Let a friend buy you lunch, then do her a solid in return. You’ll benefit from the favors you receive, but even more from the ones you perform. Don’t begrudge the people who need you; thank them for letting you help them. Give up the obsession with self-reliance; it’s a myth, anyway. None of these comes naturally to me, and even as I write them now, they seem too pat. But in Helen and Howie I saw them in action, again and again, and here is what I saw: they worked. They weren’t genius; they were wisdom.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 62)
“In a relationship, sometimes taking—allowing the other person to do something for you, rather than insisting on doing it yourself—is also a kind of giving. The same applies in friendships or business relationships. True generosity includes enabling others to be generous.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 60)
“A starting point for wisdom at any age might be to accept that you’re going to die—really accept it—and to feel more contented by the limits, not less. Modern medicine encourages us to consider death a test we can win or lose, something presided over by experts in white coats. But the elders offered a wiser perspective. None of us will get out of here alive, so we might as well live while we can.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 45)
“Old age is the last thing we’ll ever do, and it might teach us about how to live now.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 23)
“People with much less enjoy great lives.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 19)
“If you want close, supportive relationships with friends and family members when you’re eighty-five, trace a series of moves leading up to that, all the way back to the present time. Pleasant, right? That’s the universe telling you to spend more time with people you care about. If you want a life of purpose, don’t you think you’d better start finding your purpose now? You may not get there by working more hours, coming home late, putting off time with your friends and family. Maybe you want a different job, a long talk with your son, a move to a different part of the country. Maybe the answer is ending a marriage in which you’re no longer helping each other grow. I never said this was going to be easy.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Pages 16-17)
“No one wants to lose his partner of sixty years, or to give up walking because it hurts too much, but we have some choice in how we process the loss and the life left to us. We can focus on what we’ve lost or on the life we have now. Health factors, as shattering as they can be, are only part of the story.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 13)
“When I asked him what was the happiest period of his life, he did not hesitate. ‘Right now,’ he said.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 8)
“Being an expert is exhausting. Being a student—letting go of your ego—is like sitting for a banquet at the best restaurant you’ll ever visit.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 7)
Happiness Is a Choice You Make [Book]
Book Overview: In 2015, when the award-winning journalist John Leland set out on behalf of The New York Times to meet members of America’s fastest-growing age group, he anticipated learning of challenges, of loneliness, and of the deterioration of body, mind, and quality of life. But the elders he met took him in an entirely different direction. Despite disparate backgrounds and circumstances, they each lived with a surprising lightness and contentment. The reality Leland encountered upended contemporary notions of aging, revealing the late stages of life as unexpectedly rich and the elderly as incomparably wise. Happiness Is a Choice You Make is an enduring collection of lessons that emphasizes, above all, the extraordinary influence we wield over the quality of our lives. With humility, heart, and wit, Leland has crafted a sophisticated and necessary reflection on how to “live better”―informed by those who have mastered the art.
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Post(s) Inspired by this Book:
- 23 Quotes on Aging, Living, and Dying from Happiness Is a Choice You Make
- John Leland Quote on Contentment and Why You Should Grab It While You Can (Beyond the Quote 278/365)
- John Leland Quote on Happiness and How Gratitude is the Key That Unlocks the Door (Beyond the Quote 221/365)
- Jonas Mekas Quote on Choosing Art and Beauty Against Ugliness and Horrors (Beyond the Quote 20/365)
- David Bowie on Aging Being An Extraordinary Process (Beyond the Quote 7/365)