Excerpt: Forgive—even if the relationship isn’t one you want to save. Not so you can let people off the hook, but so you can cultivate inner peace.
Excerpt: Meditating is the act of, essentially, doing nothing. Which can feel totally counterproductive in our world. But, what if the opposite was true?
“Life is not going to go your way. You have to go your way and take life with you.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 275)
Excerpt: “Can I find enlightenment without all that meditation and fasting?” the young man asks. “Perhaps,” says the master… “But you will need…”
“When we’re in service, we’re an instrument of grace and compassion. We feel this, and sometimes it goes to our heads. But remember that whatever you are giving was given to you. When you pass it on, you can’t take credit for it.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 265)
“The problems that some of us face are mental—anxiety, depression, loneliness—whereas for many of the people in need of service the greatest challenges are more basic—food, clothing, shelter. We can heal our mental challenges by helping them with their physical needs. Service, therefore, is a reciprocal exchange. You’re not saving anyone by helping them—you need help as much as they do.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 265)
“It’s hard to think about selflessness when we are struggling. And yet that is exactly what I learned as a monk. Selflessness is the surest route to inner peace and a meaningful life. Selflessness heals the self.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 256)
“If you’ve lost yourself in the relationship, find yourself in the heartbreak.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 252)
“In every relationship you have the opportunity to set the level of joy you expect and the level of pain you’ll accept. No relationship is perfect, but if joy never reaches a certain height, or holds to a low average, that won’t change unless you both put in a lot of work. The same is true for how much disappointment you’re willing to bear. Your connection may get a slow start—it can take a while to know each other—but if it never reaches a satisfying level, you need to decide whether to accept it or move on.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 251)
“Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 246)
“Nobody wants to sit with you at dinner while you’re on the phone. This is where we confuse time and energy. You can spend a whole hour with someone, but only give them ten minutes of energy. I’m not able to spend much time with my family, but when I’m with them I’m 100 percent there. I’d rather spend two hours with them, focused and engaged, than give them partial, distracted energy for a whole weekend.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 240)
“One person might enter your life as a welcome change. Like a new season, they are an exciting and enthralling shift of energy. But the season ends at some point, as all seasons do. Another person might come in with a reason. They help you learn and grow, or they support you through a difficult time. It almost feels like they’ve been deliberately sent to you to assist or guide you through a particular experience, after which their central role in your life decreases. And then there are lifetime people. They stand by your side through the best and worst of times, loving you even when you are giving nothing to them.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 230)
“It’s okay—necessary, in fact—to protect yourself from those in your family who aren’t good for you. We should have the same standards for our family as we do for everyone else, and if the relationship is fraught, we can love them and respect them from a distance while gathering the family we need from the wider world. This doesn’t mean we should neglect our families. But forgiveness and gratitude come more easily when we accept that we have friends and family, and we have friends that become family.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 229)
“Too often we love people who don’t love us, but we fail to return the love of others who do.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 224)
“Famously tall [Redwood trees], you’d think that they need deep roots to survive, but in fact their roots are shallow. What gives the trees resilience is that these roots spread widely. Redwoods best thrive in groves, interweaving their roots so the strong and weak together withstand the forces of nature.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 223)
“We tend to think of gratitude as appreciation for what we have been given. Monks feel the same way. And if you ask a monk what he has been given, the answer is everything. The rich complexity of life is full of gifts and lessons that we can’t always see clearly for what they are, so why not choose to be grateful for what is, and what is possible? Embrace gratitude through daily practice, both internally—in how you look at your life and the world around you—and through action. Gratitude generates kindness, and this spirit will reverberate through our communities, bringing our highest intentions to those around us.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 221)
“There are imperfect people in our lives—ones toward whom we feel unresolved or mixed emotions and therefore have trouble summoning gratitude. And yet, gratitude is not black-and-white. We can be grateful for some, but not all, of a person’s behavior toward us. If your relationships are complicated, accept their complexity. Try to find forgiveness for their failures and gratitude for their efforts.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 220)
“When monks are praised, we detach, remembering that whatever we ere able to give was never ours to begin with. To receive gratitude with humility, start by thanking the person for noticing. Appreciate their attention and their intention. Look for a good quality in the other person and return the compliment. Then take the gratitude you are given as an opportunity to be grateful to your teachers.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 216)
“Don’t judge the moment. As soon as you label something as bad, your mind starts to believe it. Instead, be grateful for setbacks. Allow the journey of life to progress at its own pace and in its own roundabout way. The universe may have other plans in store for you.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 212)
“When the monkey mind, which amplifies negativity, tries to convince us that we’re useless and worthless, the more reasonable monk mind counters by pointing out that others have given us their time, energy, and love. They have made efforts on our behalf. Gratitude for their kindness is entwined with self-esteem, because if we are worthless, then that would make their generosity toward us worthless too.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 207)