Excerpt: These quotes from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck are practical and sugar-coating free. Read for a powerful kick-in-the-ass.
“We can’t change what life is, but we can change how we react to and interpret it.”
Jacob Held
To start, a story of two dogs. Both at separate times walk into the same room. One comes out wagging his tail while the other comes out growling. A woman watching this goes into the room to see what could possibly make one dog so happy and the other so mad. To her surprise she finds a room filled with mirrors. The happy dog found a thousand happy dogs looking back at him while the angry dog saw only angry dogs growling back at him. What you see in the world around you is a reflection of who you are.
Read More »Jacob Held Quote on Perspective and How What We See Is A Reflection of Who We Are“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
Kahlil Gibran
Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker. Then all of the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Read More »Kahlil Gibran Quote on Giving To Others That Which You Most Hope To Receive (and Knowing What to Give)
Once, an anthropologist proposed a game to kids in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told them that whoever got there first would win the entire basket. When he gave them the signal to run, they all took each other’s hands and ran together. Once they arrived at the tree, they sat in a circle and enjoyed the fruits together. When he asked them why they chose to run as a group when they could have raced against each other for the whole basket, one child spoke up and said, “UBUNTU—how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?”
Read More »Quote about Ubuntu and How We Are All Connected“Happiness is simply the absence of desire. When you observe a cue, but do not desire to change your state, you are content with the current situation. Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction), but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state.”
James Clear, Atomic Habits
People think becoming invincible is impossible—I’d like to argue to the contrary. How do we become invincible? By freeing ourselves of desire. As soon as a want is created a vulnerability is exposed that can be leveraged—by others or even your own mind. Think about this in the context of a negotiation.
Read More »James Clear Quote on Happiness and How It’s About Absence Not Achievement“Whenever you feel sad, sit by the side of a tree, by the side of the river, by the side of a rock, and just relax into your sadness without any fear. The more you relax, the more you will become acquainted with the beauties of sadness. Then sadness will start changing its form; it will become a silent joy, uncaused by anybody outside you. That will not be shallow happiness, which can be taken away very easily. And getting deeper into your aloneness, one day you will find not only joy – joy is only midway. Happiness is very superficial, depends on others; joy is in the middles, does not depend on anyone. But going deeper you will come to the state of bliss – that’s what I call enlightenment.”
Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
Whenever you are feeling a deep emotion—sit with it. Do not rush to do anything else. Do not turn on the TV; do not turn on a podcast; do not log into your social media accounts; do not pour a glass of wine; do not conduct busywork; do not go shopping; do not experiment with drugs; do not call your ex. Just, sit with it.
Read More »Osho Quote on Sadness and How To Relax Into It, Change Its Form, and Look Deeper Into It
Excerpt: John Leland spent years with some of the oldest old in America and wrote a book on his findings. Read our quotes on aging from his book here!
“It’s fine to take pleasure, to enjoy good food, and to listen to beautiful music. Becoming curious about how we suffer doesn’t mean that we can no longer enjoy eating ice cream. But once we begin to understand the bewilderment of our untrained mind, we won’t look to the ice cream and say, ‘That’s happiness.’ We’ll realize that the mind can be happy devoid of ice cream. We’ll realize that the mind is content and happy by nature.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 23)
“True happiness is always available to us, but first we have to create the environment for it to flourish.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 6)
“Too often we think that if only we undo the impediments to our happiness, we can be truly happy. But there are always more impediments, more reasons not to be happy now. Helen chose instead to embrace the life she had. She didn’t resent her daughter’s meddling or feel sorry for herself because she wasn’t getting married; she didn’t magnify her unmet desires by treating them as a punishment. They were life, her life. Impediments are the circumstances in which we find happiness.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 178)
“‘Happy in spite of’ entails a choice to be happy; it acknowledges problems but doesn’t put them in the way of contentment. ‘Happy if only’ pins happiness on outside circumstances: if only I had more money, less pain, a nicer spouse or house, I’d be happy as a clam. ‘Happy if only’ feeds millions of dollars into lotteries or impulse purchases, which provide nothing of the sort. Ping, by contrast, didn’t expect her hardships to pass, so didn’t pin her happiness on their doing so. When she was younger, she said, she thought moving to America would solve her problems; she found that it just replaced them with others. The lesson was to find happiness not in the absence of pain and loss, but in their acceptance.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 135)
“How to be happy? Here was a start. Accept whatever kindnesses people offer you, and repay with what you can. Let a friend buy you lunch, then do her a solid in return. You’ll benefit from the favors you receive, but even more from the ones you perform. Don’t begrudge the people who need you; thank them for letting you help them. Give up the obsession with self-reliance; it’s a myth, anyway. None of these comes naturally to me, and even as I write them now, they seem too pat. But in Helen and Howie I saw them in action, again and again, and here is what I saw: they worked. They weren’t genius; they were wisdom.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 62)
“Happiness to me is what’s happening now. Not the next world; it’s not the dance you’re going to tonight. If you’re not happy at the present time, then you’re not happy. Some people say, I get that new fur coat for the winter, or get myself a new automobile, I’ll be happy then. But you don’t know what’s going to happen by that time. Right now are you happy? Like me. I have health problems, but it’s been going on a long time, so it’s secondary.” ~ Fred Jones, via Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 29)
“When I asked him what was the happiest period of his life, he did not hesitate. ‘Right now,’ he said.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 8)
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Post(s) Inspired by this Book:
“The past is fixed, but the future—it could be better. It could be better, some precise amount—the amount that can be achieved, perhaps, in a day, with some minimal engagement. The present is eternally flawed. But where you start might not be as important as the direction you are heading. Perhaps happiness is always to be found in the journey uphill, and not in the fleeting sense of satisfaction awaiting at the next peak. Much of happiness is hope, no matter how deep the underworld in which that hope was conceived.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 94)
“To treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for helping is what would be truly good for you. This is not ‘what you want.’ It is also not ‘what would make you happy.’ Every time you give a child something sweet, you make that child happy. That does not mean that you should do nothing for children except feed them candy. ‘Happy’ is by no means synonymous with ‘good.’ You must get children to brush their teeth. They must put on their snowsuits when they go outside in the cold, even though they might object strenuously. You must help a child become a virtuous, responsible, awake being, capable of full reciprocity—able to take care of himself and others, and to thrive while doing so. Why would you think it acceptable to do anything less for yourself?” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 62)
