“It is only when you live with something intimately that you begin to understand it. But the moment you get used to it—get used to your own anxiety or envy or whatever it is—you are no longer living with it. If you live by a river, after a few days you do not hear the sound of the water anymore, or if you have a picture in the room which you see every day you lose it after a week. It is the same with the mountains, the valleys, the trees—the same with your family, your husband, your wife. But to live with something like jealousy, envy or anxiety you must never get used to it, never accept it. You must care for it as you would care for a newly planted tree, protect it against the sun, against the storm. You must care for it, not condemn it or justify it.”
J. Krishnamurti, Freedom From The Known (Page 70)
“I was jealous of other men where it concerned the women I was dating because I was scared of losing her to him. I was at war. Love should be many things but it should never be war. Jealousy was my body and mind’s way of doing everything I could to not be abandoned, to not feel that pain of someone leaving. As a result, I led an exhausting life. I couldn’t enjoy love or intimacy because I was so fucking terrified of losing it. Numerous people, both men and women alike, struggle with jealousy. We attempt to mask it in our relationships as being healthy or flattering, branding it as some sort of fucked up proof our partners care about us. But jealousy is not love. It’s selfishness. If we’re not careful, it’s an emotion that can quickly transform into possession. Let her keep her wings.”
Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 112)
“When you see someone having something that you believe you deserve, you take a note. You ask yourself a few questions. Is it something that you really want? Perhaps that person is better suited than you are for that. Does the universe — is the universe conspiring for you to have that? Really kind of try and be honest with who you are and where you’re at in life. Once you do that, you take a deep breath and you say, ‘Their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness.’ And then you’re ready to give a note. You go on social media, and you say congratulations. Or my personal favorite, you pick up the phone, like it’s the 20th century, and you say, ‘Congratulations, kudos, you did that, Al! You go, girl!’ You do all the things. Instantly you feel like a better human being because you have actually extended grace.”
Bevy Smith, TED Talk
“People tend to hide their problems and to put their best face forward. We only see and hear of their triumphs, their new relationships, their brilliant ideas that will land them a gold mine. If we move closer—if we saw the quarrels that go on behind closed doors or the horrible boss that goes with that new job—we would have less reason to feel envy. Nothing is ever so perfect as it seems, and often we would see that we are mistaken if we only looked closely enough.”
Robert Greene, The Daily Laws (Page 377)
“Envy is perhaps the ugliest human emotion. Destroy it before it destroys you. Develop your sense of self-worth from internal standards and not incessant comparisons.”
Robert Greene, The Daily Laws (Page 359)
The Weight Of Envy—A Short Story About Letting Go
Excerpt: A teacher told his students to make a list of everybody they envied. But, instead of using paper, to write each name on a potato…
Read More »The Weight Of Envy—A Short Story About Letting Go
“You wake up with a list of all the people you’d rather be. But you’re already on everyone else’s list.” ~ Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You
“When a jealous person sees signs of other people’s success and good fortune, his heart is pierced with envy. But someone who has learned to rejoice in the good fortune of others experiences only happiness. Seeing another person’s beautiful house or attractive partner immediately makes him happy – the fact that they are not his own is irrelevant.” ~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso