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David Deida Quotes

Become your deepest, most easeful version.

    Become your deepest, most easeful version.

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    “Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being.  Everything other than this process is secondary.  Your job, your children, your wife, your money, your artistic creations, your pleasures – they are all superficial and empty, if they are not floating in the deep sea of your conscious loving.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

      “A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them.  Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

        “Some men fear the feeling of fear and therefore don’t even approach their edge.  They choose a job they know they can do well and easily, and don’t even approach the fullest giving of their gift.  Their lives are relatively secure and comfortable, but dead.  They lack the aliveness, the depth, and the inspirational energy that is the sign of a man living at his edge.  If you are this kind of man who is hanging back, working hard perhaps, but not at your real edge, other men will not be able to trust that you can and will help them live at their edge and give their fullest gift.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

          “It is honorable for a man to admit his fears, resistance, and edge of practice.  It is simply true that each man has his limit, his capacity for growth, and his destiny.  But it is dishonorable for him to lie to himself or others about his real place.  He shouldn’t pretend he is more enlightened than he is – nor should he stop short of his actual edge.  The more a man is playing his real edge, the more valuable he is as good company for other men, the more he can be trusted to be authentic and fully present.  Where a man’s edge is located is less important than whether he is actually living his edge in truth, rather than being lazy or deluded.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

            “Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature.  A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt.  If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one.  He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

              “Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women.  Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today.  Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

                “Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.  They think, ‘If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.’ Or, ‘One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.’ Or, ‘I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.’  The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way.  They won’t.  It never ends.  As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

                  “What you loved as a child is less interesting to you now as an adult.  And what occupies your attention now will cease to sooner or later.  This growth is both natural and good.  We are designed to outgrow everything – including our desire to experience and improve the realms of money, sex, and intimacy.”

                  David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man