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Cole Schafer Quotes

    “To me, smoking might be the most attractive activity a woman (or anyone for that matter) can do. Yet, the irony in this attraction is that if I were to fall in love with a woman who smoked, I’d want them to stop the disgusting habit immediately. Perhaps there is a metaphor in there for love. Where people fuck up tragically in love is that they fall in love with someone and then immediately attempt to make them someone else.”

    Cole Schafer

      “If you are in pain––be it in life, work or love––reflect on a time you were hurting so deeply and so gutturally. If you retrace your steps and walk back to this broken place, you will surely find a bed of wildflowers growing there. Raid them. Cut them. Bunch them into a bouquet. Place them on your kitchen counter. On the days when your heart is so heavy, you wish you could pluck it out of your chest and wring it out in the kitchen sink––don’t. Instead, gaze upon the flowers on the counter and remind yourself that healing takes time.”

      Cole Schafer

        “The Buddhists believe that our presence can be healing; that by simply sharing space with another person and giving them our full, undivided attention, we can ease their suffering. Sometimes I wonder if the reason we don’t all feel so broken and lonely and insecure is because we rarely give each other our full, undivided attention.”

        Cole Schafer

          “The reason creativity wilts inside of us like a vase full of snipped wildflowers is the very same reason love fades. Somewhere along the line, we stop noticing. We can never stop noticing. The moment we stop noticing, we might as well be dead. We’re alive and breathing but we feel nothing at all. Creativity and love dies when we feel nothing at all. And so we notice so we we can feel because, in the words of Klinkenborg, noticing means thinking with all your senses.”

          Cole Schafer

            “If you take a long, hard look at your romantic relationships that have ended in fire, you will very likely notice they began with a considerable bit of smoke. When we’re young and dumb, we believe that love is like a fairytale. We believe that we can be the one that finally helps her shake her ex. We believe that we can be the one that helps him conquer his Vicodin addiction. We believe that love can begin badly and then somehow miraculously make a comeback in the 4th quarter. But, love doesn’t work this way. The love that is good in the end, starts out good in the beginning; and the love that is bad in end, started out bad in the beginning.”

            Cole Schafer

              “What do you do with an idea? You do nothing. You do absolutely nothing, until it’s impossible to do nothing.”

              Cole Schafer

                “If you’re creative, you will be overwhelmed with ideas. And, naturally, you will feel the urge to write these ideas down, terrified that you might forget them. While some would advise you to write your ideas down, I would advise against it. I think the only way to truly know for certain that you have an idea worth pursuing, is if the idea is also pursuing you.”

                Cole Schafer

                  “When you realize that you have mere moments to make the world a better place before you leave it, everything changes.”

                  Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 191)

                    “Would you still love her if you couldn’t post pictures of her? Would that love still exist if you and she were the only two people in the entire world that got to experience what the two of you share? I don’t think so. No, I don’t think you would love her like you say you do. I think the two of you are in love with the show, not the real people playing the actors in it.”

                    Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 181)

                      “At times, I wish I were better at moderation. But, to be honest, it’s just not the way I’m wired. I came into this world hungry and I’m going to die hungry and my hunger is going to make me wildly successful and ultimately lead to my demise and I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be full.”

                      Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 168)

                        “I’m not here to create a legacy. I’m here to set the sky on fire like a shooting star, just for a moment. I’m here to light this world ablaze and then I want to be gone. Any extra time the reaper lets me stick around after that, well that’s just cherries, love. That’s just cherries on top.”

                        Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 160)

                          “If you’re privileged, all that I ask is this. Once, don’t take it for granted and certainly don’t waste it. Two, when you can, always, help someone who is less privileged. Three, remind underprivileged kids in your community that they don’t have to become a professional athlete or a rap artist or Instagram influencer to make it big, remind them they can become writers, scientists, teachers, hair-stylists, designers, doctors and lawyers. You don’t have to go out and start a non-profit, you don’t have to go on marches, you don’t have to change the world, you just have to change one person in it. Just once in your lifetime, look for some small way you can help someone who is less fortunate than you are. Because, to be completely candid, if you’re reading this right now you’re privileged too.”

                          Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 154)

                            “The love you’ll one day show your person isn’t just your love. It’s a collection or a cultivation, rather, of the love you were shown (be it good or bad) by those who came before him or her.”

                            Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 138)

                              “When you find yourself judging someone, take a step back. Ask yourself, what deep underlying insecurity or fear is this person triggering in me? During the most judgmental phases of my life, I was also extremely insecure and unhappy. I couldn’t face my own insecurities and unhappiness so instead, I chose to reflect these feelings onto others in the form of judgment. Today, when I feel myself becoming judgmental towards anyone, it serves as a nice reminder that I have some internal work to do and I do it.”

                              Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 136)

                                “She and I didn’t end in a horrible derailing crushing wreck that left both of us bloody and grabbing for our throats to check if we were still breathing—it was more like a slow dance. We were holding each other closely, swaying to Cigarettes After Sex and I decided to gently let go of her hand and she didn’t make the slightest attempt to grab it back. And, in a cynical yet poetic way, this is what loving in a broken generation haunted by dreams feels like—a slow dance that gets slower and slower until the music stops and someone lets go.“

                                Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 134)

                                  “I’ve known great troubles, both mentally and emotionally, and many of them have been cured sitting alone in a room with a therapist. And, I’d argue just as many, if not more, have been cured spending fifteen to twenty minutes with my head on a women’s chest. Fucking is good. But it’s not medicine.”

                                  Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 132)

                                    “Today, I no longer worry about being the best looking guy in the room. I want to be the smartest. I want to be the most creative. I want to be the most thoughtful. I want to be the most interesting. But, I couldn’t give a shit less about being the best looking. I want to be everything I wasn’t born to be. I want to be everything I’ve worked like hell to build.”

                                    Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 131)

                                      “There will be moments in your life
                                      when you stumble into someone and your whole
                                      damn world will be flipped on its head, a complete stranger
                                      will become the only person that matters and if I can
                                      give you any piece of advice, it’s that in
                                      these moments don’t let go.”

                                      Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 130)