“Power and blame go hand in hand, so if we want to find the power to improve our situation, we’re going to have to take responsibility, no matter how much others did us dirty. Taking the time to see how we contribute to our unfortunate circumstances is the first step to turning things around. Comparing ourselves to others and spending excessive time on social media only fuels our self-pity, and the more aware we are of those triggers, the better off we’ll be. Pointing fingers and taking offense are also the language of self-victimization, and we need to recognize when theirs becomes a habit we can’t kick. The secret to dealing with much of the bullshit life throws us is self-sufficiency, which means finding ways to own the bullshit, even when there are plenty of other people who should be sharing the blame.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 220)
“Zooming out helps us to think more in the long term and recognize patterns so we don’t overreact in the short term. Life isn’t what happens to us; it’s how we deal with it, and how we deal with it always depends on the perspectives we can find. Zooming out helps us realize that the story is still playing out, and we shouldn’t rush to any conclusions.” ~ Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 140)
Pema Chodron Quote on Suffering and What We Should Do To Alleviate It
“It’s not the things that happen to us that cause us to suffer, it’s what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening.”
Pema Chodron, via Essential Zen Habits (Page 106)
Beyond the Quote (59/365)
Think about your mind like a movie theater. What you say to yourself is what directs and creates the movie that plays in your mind. You can direct and play whatever type of movie you want—action, comedy, romance, horror, adventure, thriller, etc. What you don’t get to do, however, is choose how the events in your movie unfold. So, if you can’t control how the events unfold, how can you control how the movie plays out? It’s all in the director’s (your) creative interpretation and expression of how those events influence the main character to think, feel, speak, and act (also you). You get to take the expression, “Everything happens for a reason” and you get to determine why everything happened and for what reason and see to it that the movie plays out in a direction of your choosing.
Read More »Pema Chodron Quote on Suffering and What We Should Do To Alleviate ItSteve Penny Quote on Embracing Unforeseen Detours Rather Than Fighting Them
“Life is full of unforeseen detours. Circumstances happen which seem to completely cut across our plans. Learn to turn your detours into delights. Treat them as special excursions and learning tours. Don’t fight them or you will never learn their purpose. Enjoy the moments and pretty soon you will be back on track again, probably wiser and stronger because of your little detour.”
Steve Penny
Beyond the Quote (46/365)
In his book, Essential Zen Habits, Leo Babauta shares a mental analogy that can help you stay on track towards accomplishing your goals—or better yet, not stay on “track” at all yet continue heading in the direction of your goals in a more flexible, effective manner. You see, for many people, the idea of a plan gets equated to mental “train tracks” that get laid out so that you, the train, can power forward in a smooth, straight line down the track towards your destination.
Read More »Steve Penny Quote on Embracing Unforeseen Detours Rather Than Fighting ThemQuote on Managing Stress By Controlling What You Can and Letting Go Of What You Can’t
“Remember, most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude. Change how you see things. Look for the good in all situations. Take the lesson and find new opportunities to grow. Let all the extra stress, worrying and overthinking go.”
Unknown
Beyond the Quote (44/365)
The above quote can be boiled down the following idea: accept what you cannot change, take control of what you can, do what you need to do to figure out which category each situation in your life falls, and act accordingly. If you never make the connection that a given situation is out of your control, then you might drive yourself mad in trying to change it. If you don’t even realize that a situation is within your control (or that at least part of it is) and you act as though it’s not, you might be suffering unnecessarily as a result.
Read More »Quote on Managing Stress By Controlling What You Can and Letting Go Of What You Can’tSusan David Quote on False Positivity and Why We Shouldn’t Push Aside Difficult Emotions
“When we push aside difficult emotions in order to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop deep skills to help us deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.”
Susan David, Ph.D, Mindful
Beyond the Quote (27/365)
This is the problem with positive thinking from a superficial standpoint. If something sad happens and you try to cover it up with happy thoughts, like a kind of mask, you get an un-dealt-with-sadness that lies suppressed inside. When something really upsets you and you try to distract your mind from confronting that “upset-ness,” those feelings will get pushed down and will continue to broil from deep within.
Read More »Susan David Quote on False Positivity and Why We Shouldn’t Push Aside Difficult Emotions“There is nothing wrong with striving to improve your life situation. You can improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life. Life is primary. Life is your deepest inner Being. It is already whole, complete, perfect. Your life situation consists of your circumstances and your experiences. There is nothing wrong with setting goals and striving to achieve things. The mistake lies in using it as a substitute for the feeling of life, for Being. The only point of access for that is the Now.” ~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 86)
“Too often we think that if only we undo the impediments to our happiness, we can be truly happy. But there are always more impediments, more reasons not to be happy now. Helen chose instead to embrace the life she had. She didn’t resent her daughter’s meddling or feel sorry for herself because she wasn’t getting married; she didn’t magnify her unmet desires by treating them as a punishment. They were life, her life. Impediments are the circumstances in which we find happiness.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 178)
“We look at people who are sick and we pity them because we believe that their lives has to be inherently less joyous than everyone else’s. What we don’t see, is that when people suffer, when people feel pain, it’s just connecting them to life. It’s connecting them to everyone else. Because the truth is, no matter what kind of life you’re living, no matter what kind of circumstance you’re in, you’re going to feel miserable sometimes; You’re going to have nights when you feel like the entire world is closing in on you, and it’s never going to be okay again, and you’re always going to be alone—and you’re going to have days when you feel so happy to be alive; where you feel joyous and you feel inspired… And you are always going to feel all of that. No matter if all of your dreams come true, and you’re living in that New York loft apartment, doing whatever you’ve ever wanted to do, and are in love and married and what not—you’re still going to feel the complexity of life. Because life doesn’t discriminate between circumstance. Life is not going to stop unfolding itself to you just because you’re sick or because your life isn’t how you think it’s supposed to be. There is still going to be beauty.” ~ Claire Wineland, Klick MUSE New York
“We all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. And while it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, and feel we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risk we decide to take, and the consequences we choose to live with. People who consistently make the best choices in the situations they’re given are the ones who eventually come out ahead in poker, just as in life. And it’s not necessarily the people with the best cards.” ~ Mark Mason, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
“The truth is that there’s no such thing as a personal problem. If you’ve got a problem, chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to have it in the future. Likely people you know too. That doesn’t minimize the problem or mean that it shouldn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you aren’t legitimately a victim of some circumstances. It just means you’re not special. Often, it’s this realization—that you and your problems are actually not privileged in their severity or pain—that is the first and most important step toward solving them.” ~ Mark Mason, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
“Would you be happier with more control over what happens in your life or more control over your response to what happens? How could you gain more such control?” ~ Gregory Stock, The Book of Questions
“[In order to] liberate the potential of your mind, body, and soul, you must first expand your imagination. You see, things are always created twice: first in the workshop of the mind and then, and only then, in reality. I call the process ‘blueprinting’ because anything that you create in your outer world began as a simple blueprint in your inner world, on the lush picture screen of your min. When you learn to take control of your thoughts and vividly imagine all that you desire from this worldly existence in state of total expectancy, dormant forces will awaken inside you. You will begin to unlock the true potential of your mind to create the kind of magical life that I believe you deserve. From tonight onwards, forget about the past. Dare to dream that you are more than the sum of your current circumstances. Expect the best. You will be astonished at the results.” ~ Robin S. Sharma, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
“There is no such thing as objective reality or ‘the real world.’ There are no absolutes. The face of your greatest enemy might be the face of my finest friend. An event that appears to be a tragedy to one might reveal the seeds of unlimited opportunity to another. What really separates people who are habitually upbeat and optimistic from those who are consistently miserable is how the circumstances of life are interpreted and processed.” ~ Robin S. Sharma, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
“Dreamers don’t have special genes. They find circumstances that amplify their dreams.”
Seth Godin, Whatcha Gonna Do With That Duck?