“Once you have grown into independent adulthood, you no longer need somebody to take care of you.  You can be responsible for yourself.  In particular, you realize that you are responsible for your own happiness.  Nobody can live your life for you.  You must create your own health, success, and happiness.  This sense of self-responsibility is only a partial maturity, however.  Beyond self-responsibility lies the responsibility to give your gift.  It is important to grow beyond dependence on your intimate partner for your own happiness.  But it’s equally important to grow beyond simple independence and autonomy.   The next stage of intimacy after personal independence has been attained is the mutual flow of gifting, or serving each other in love.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man