Sometimes You Don’t Realize What You Have Until It’s Gone — An Exercise for More Grateful Living

I Bet You’ve Never Read An Article Like This Before

Take a deep breath in, plug your nose, and hold your breath for as long as you can (safely) while you read this post. No, seriously. I want you to notice how, at the beginning of holding your breath, your mind is still able to focus on these words relatively easily. Or, if you’re a daydreamer, notice how your mind is still able to linger somewhere in the past or future without much resistance. I want you to really feel the ease that’s still present in your mind.

As you start to feel the desire to take a breath build, I want you to notice how these words start to become less important. Notice how whatever your mind might have been lingering on before starts to fade. Notice how, more and more, your mind starts to focus on doing just one thing: taking that next breath.

What that one person said to you that upset you no longer matters. What that celebrity posted on Instagram quickly fades from your thinking. What’s happening in the news, what’s happening with your neighbors, what’s happening with your friends… even thinking about your family, your shelter, your next meal, your next drink… all become wildly irrelevant when you can’t take that next breath, eh?

Are you still going? Have you taken a breath yet? Are you still able to focus on these words that I’m laying out for you? Here’s what I want you to do. While the pressure to breathe builds to its greatest extent, I want you to focus on how much breathing is taken for granted. Think about how often the blessing of taking one simple breath is wasted because our minds are consumed elsewhere—oftentimes, in trivial and feeble places.

Alright, I think you’ve gone far enough. It’s time to take your breath. Notice how nothing else in the world matters right now except being able to breathe. When you do, I want you to fill your lungs up with gratitude and embrace that moment of breathing in full. Go ahead. Feel the full sensation of taking a deep breath in. Feel the life fill your body and feel the overwhelming sense of relief that follows. Feel your mind relax. Feel your body come down from its slight panic. Feel life.

Before It’s Gone, Practice Being Without It

You’ve heard the expression before: Sometimes you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. So why not remind yourself what life might be like without certain things—before they’re taken? By withholding from breathing for just a few moments, you were reminded of the miracle of oxygen, lungs, and life. This is why many meditation practices encourage you to connect with your breath. Breathing is something that keeps us connected to the present moment because it happens in every moment. Remember how much everything in your mind faded when you wanted to breathe the most? By focusing on your breath, one breath at a time, you can disconnect from your monkey mind and remind yourself of this miracle and stay grounded throughout your practice.

More along the same lines, I fast regularly. Not just because it’s good for health, but because it builds my appreciation for food. When I would just eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, food was taken for granted in my mind. How could it not be? It was on demand and always there. But this is not a mindful or healthy approach to eating. So, I practice intermittent fasting six days a week and usually, once every two weeks or so, I do a full 24-36 hour fast. Food never tastes as good as it does after coming out of a fast like that.

These are both, very good practices for building gratitude and appreciation in life. This idea can certainly be applied in numerous other areas of life as well. Have you ever gone back country camping? If you have, then you know what it’s like to appreciate shelter. Have you ever gone without hot water for a few days? If you have, then you know what it’s like to appreciate a hot shower. Have you ever traveled away from someone you love for an extended period of time? If you have, then you know what it’s like to feel their warm embrace upon your return.

What’s interesting, is that you also might find that you could do without certain things in your life that you previously didn’t think you could. Have you ever gone for an extended period of time without seeing somebody who’s an active part of your life, only to realize you don’t miss them? Have you ever quit a job that you felt was an important part of your life, only to realize that you were better off without it? Have you ever cut something out of your diet that you ate all of the time only to realize you didn’t need it after all? Distance gives perspective. It’s hard to appreciate the grandeur of the mountain while you’re walking on it—you have to look at it from far away.

Want to live a life filled with more gratitude? Practice living without certain people and things in your life that you may be taking for granted. Make sure, of course, that whatever you set out to do is safe and isn’t reckless. Once that important detail is checked, what you might find is that you’ll start appreciating who and what you have in your life much more than you currently do. Maybe you start to take those deep breaths of gratitude more often. Maybe you bite into your food with a little more mindfulness and grace. Maybe you hug your loved ones a little tighter. These small moments of appreciation are exactly the same moments that would have made up your life anyway. And by swapping one moment of “taking life for granted” out for one moment of “realizing how blessed you are”, you will be changing the course of your life for the better. For, this is how any course in life is ever changed—one degree at a time. Good luck.

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