Excerpt: These Rupi Kaur quotes from Milk and Honey go deep into the journey of love and discuss loneliness, relationships, breakups, healing, and more.
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Introduction: Love Isn’t Cruel and Love Isn’t A Game
“love is not cruel
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 127)
we are cruel
love is not a game
we have made a game
out of love”
To all those who suffer from heartbreak, don’t blame love. Love is forever flowing and ever present throughout all that is. Love isn’t one person. Love is what connects us to infinite warmth, gratitude, and grace. Love isn’t temporary. To blame love for being cruel is to blame your entire body when just one cell is at fault. Love is far bigger than any one person. Love is the understructure that provides the foundation for all that is kind, just, and joyous. Love is not cruel.
Each of us is flawed and imperfect and is doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. Many of us don’t want to admit that we’re flawed and imperfect so we carry on leading inauthentic lives. We put up walls, bury our emotions, and make sure we only do things that are easy so we don’t mess up or expose any weaknesses. Sometimes, we even tear others down so we can appear bigger. Many of us don’t even know who we really are. We don’t even know why we act the way we act sometimes. We’re hiding who we have the potential to be deep within because we’re scared of what others might think if we come out.
It’s safer to put on a mask. Yes, maybe even two masks. Maybe the masks will allow us to be somebody that other people will like better. But, we’re confused. It’s a lot of work—trying to be more than one person. Being one person is hard enough. But, we try to move away the mask and as soon as even one person smirks, we rush back to hiding. We try to fit in. But we want to stand out. We try to love, but we don’t know how to quiet the hate. We say things we don’t mean to say and do things we don’t mean to do because we’re in pain and pain is what comes out when we draw from what’s inside sometimes. Love is not cruel. We are in pain. And pain can be cruel.
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This is not a statement of fact, but rather an observation as to our state. Why are we cruel to each other? Cruelty never comes from a place of love. Cruelty comes from a place of hate. Are we filling ourselves up with self-hate? What are we filling ourselves up with every day? Is it because we are holding onto pain? What are we choosing to hold onto and what are we choosing to let go of? Is it because we are burying our problems under everything we can get our hands on? Is that why we are so addicted to TV, media, drugs, fame, video games, alcohol, sex? Are we in control of what we’re allowing in? Or are we out of control? We act outwardly how we feel inwardly—there is no other way to act.
These acts—our actions—are the ultimate measure of our feelings. For, as long as we are deliberating ideas, intentions, and thoughts in our head, that is as far as they ever go. But as soon as we act on one of those ideas, intentions, and/ or thoughts—we have decided to bring that thought into reality. Whether consciously or unconsciously—we have chosen to bring that abstract notion to life and put it out into the world for all to see. When we can learn how to take control of those decisions, we can learn how to take control. When we learn how to stop acting unconsciously and learn how to understand our actions mindfully, we can begin our work of change. We can choose differently. We can choose not to be cruel. We can choose instead, to love—to be love.
When we choose love, it is not because we are trying to play a game of appearances, power, or sex—for that isn’t love at all. When we choose love, it is because we are after something deeper. We are choosing love so that we can heal what’s inside. We are choosing love so that we can change the way we see what’s outside. We are choosing love so that we can speak more kindly and act more warmly. We are choosing love so that we can help those who are hurt, not hurt those who are trying to help. We are choosing love because love guides all that is good and hate guides all that is bad. We are choosing love, not because we want to win a game and not because we are trying to prove something—we are choosing love because love is the way to be. To be joyous. To be kind. To be just. To be who we really are. ALL that we really are.
The List: 16 Deep Rupi Kaur Quotes from Milk and Honey and Insights for Love
Below you will find our list of Rupi Kaur quotes from Milk and Honey that go deep into the journey of love. The insights you’ll read cover everything from the aches and pains of loneliness, to the feeling of being in love, to the hurt that comes from breakup, to the healing that follows.
All of these insights add to the bigger picture of what love might be, what it might look like, and how love might be best felt and expressed. While Milk and Honey is a very personal piece, it is incredibly relatable and Kaur’s carefully chosen words hit the reader right in the heart—at least that was the experience for me.
My hope is that these carefully chosen quotes from Milk and Honey hit you right where you need to feel it the most, too.
“loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself”
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 153)
“you must enter a relationship
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 150)
with yourself
before anyone else”
“how you love yourself is
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 186)
how you teach others
to love you”
“what i miss most is how you loved me. but what i didn’t know was how you loved me had so much to do with the person i was. it was a reflection of everything i gave to you. coming back to me. how did i not see that. how. did i sit here soaking in the idea that no one else would love me that way. when it was i that taught you. when it was i that showed you how to fill. the way i needed to be filled. how cruel i was to myself. giving you credit for warmth simply because you had felt it. thinking it was you who gave me strength. wit. beauty. simply because you recognized it. as if i was already not these things before i met you. as if i did not remain all these once you left.”
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 138)
“there is a difference between
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 162)
someone telling you
they love you and
them actually
loving you”
“when you are broken
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 103)
and he has left you
do not question
whether you were
enough
the problem was
you were so enough
he was not able to carry it”
“you tell me to quiet down cause
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 30)
my opinions make me less beautiful
but i was not made with a fire in my belly
so i could be put out
i was not made with a lightness on my tongue
so i could be easy to swallow
i was made heavy
half blade and half silk
difficult to forget and not easy
for the mind to follow”
“you mustn’t have to
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 96)
make them want you
they must want you themselves”
“do not look for healing
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 155)
at the feet of those
who broke you”
“if you were born with
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 156)
the weakness to fall
you were born with
the strength to rise”
“i want to apologize to all the women
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 179)
i have called pretty
before i’ve called them intelligent or brave
i am sorry i made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is the most you have to be proud of when your
spirit has crushed mountains
from now on i will say things like
you are resilient or you are extraordinary
not because i don’t think you’re pretty
but because you are so much more than that”
“he placed his hands
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 54)
on my mind
before reaching
for my waist
my hips
or my lips
he didn’t call me
beautiful first
he called me
exquisite”
“i do not want to have you
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 59)
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire”
“love will come
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 60)
and when love comes
love will hold you
love will call your name
and you will melt
sometimes though
love will hurt you but
love will never mean to
love will play no games
cause love knows life
has been hard enough already”
“most importantly love
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 194)
like it’s the only thing you know how
at the end of the day all this
means nothing
this page
where you’re sitting
your degree
your job
the money
nothing even matters
except love and human connection
who you loved
and how deeply you loved them
how you touched the people around you
and how much you gave them”
Picture Quotes from Milk and Honey To Share:
If you enjoyed these Rupi Kaur Quotes from Milk and Honey then you should definitely read the book in full. It comes highly recommended:
Book Overview: #1 New York Times bestseller Milk and Honey is a collection of poetry and prose about survival. About the experience of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity. The book is divided into four chapters, and each chapter serves a different purpose. Deals with a different pain. Heals a different heartache. Milk and Honey takes readers through a journey of the most bitter moments in life and finds sweetness in them because there is sweetness everywhere if you are just willing to look.
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Written by Matt Hogan
Founder of MoveMe Quotes. On a mission to help busy people do inner work—for better mental health; for healing; for personal growth. Find me on Twitter / IG / Medium. I also share daily insights here. 🌱
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