“love is not cruel
we are cruel
love is not a game
we have made a game
out of love”
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey (Page 127)
Beyond the Quote (145/365)
To all those who suffer from heartbreak, don’t blame love. Love is forever flowing and ever present throughout all that is. Love isn’t one person. Love is what connects us to infinite warmth, gratitude, and grace. Love isn’t temporary. To blame love for being cruel is to blame your entire body when just one cell is at fault. Love is far bigger than any one person. Love is the understructure that provides the foundation for all that is kind, just, and joyous. Love is not cruel.
Each of us is flawed and imperfect and is doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. Many of us don’t want to admit that we’re flawed and imperfect so we carry on leading inauthentic lives. We put up walls, bury our emotions, and make sure we only do things that are easy so we don’t mess up or expose any weaknesses. Sometimes, we even tear others down so we can appear bigger. Many of us don’t even know who we really are. We don’t even know why we act the way we act sometimes. We’re hiding who we have the potential to be deep within because we’re scared of what others might think if we come out.
It’s safer to put on a mask. Yes, maybe even two masks. Maybe the masks will allow us to be somebody that other people will like better. But, we’re confused. It’s a lot of work—trying to be more than one person. Being one person is hard enough. But, we try to move away the mask and as soon as even one person smirks, we rush back to hiding. We try to fit in. But we want to stand out. We try to love, but we don’t know how to quiet the hate. We say things we don’t mean to say and do things we don’t mean to do because we’re in pain and pain is what comes out when we draw from what’s inside sometimes. Love is not cruel. We are in pain. And pain can be cruel.
This is not a statement of fact, but rather an observation as to our state. Why are we cruel to each other? Cruelty never comes from a place of love. Cruelty comes from a place of hate. Are we filling ourselves up with self-hate? What are we filling ourselves up with every day? Is it because we are holding onto pain? What are we choosing to hold onto and what are we choosing to let go of? Is it because we are burying our problems under everything we can get our hands on? Is that why we are so addicted to TV, media, drugs, fame, video games, alcohol, sex? Are we in control of what we’re allowing in? Or are we out of control? We act outwardly how we feel inwardly—there is no other way to act.
These acts—our actions—are the ultimate measure of our feelings. For, as long as we are deliberating ideas, intentions, and thoughts in our head, that is as far as they ever go. But as soon as we act on one of those ideas, intentions, and/ or thoughts—we have decided to bring that thought into reality. Whether consciously or unconsciously—we have chosen to bring that abstract notion to life and put it out into the world for all to see. When we can learn how to take control of those decisions, we can learn how to take control. When we learn how to stop acting unconsciously and learn how to understand our actions mindfully, we can begin our work of change. We can choose differently. We can choose not to be cruel. We can choose instead, to love—to be love.
When we choose love, it is not because we are trying to play a game of appearances, power, or sex—for that isn’t love at all. When we choose love, it is because we are after something deeper. We are choosing love so that we can heal what’s inside. We are choosing love so that we can change the way we see what’s outside. We are choosing love so that we can speak more kindly and act more warmly. We are choosing love so that we can help those who are hurt, not hurt those who are trying to help. We are choosing love because love guides all that is good and hate guides all that is bad. We are choosing love, not because we want to win a game and not because we are trying to prove something—we are choosing love because love is the way to be. To be joyous. To be kind. To be just. To be who we really are. ALL that we really are.
This post became the introduction for: 16 Deep Rupi Kaur Quotes from Milk and Honey and Insights for Love
Don't Let the Motivation Stop There...!
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