“As you live deeper in the heart, the mirror gets clearer and clearer.”
Rumi
Beyond the Quote (267/365)
Once it happened where a presenter was having technical difficulties with his presentation. The projector wasn’t connecting to the computer properly and the slideshow that he prepared wouldn’t show. As the time was ticking off the clock for his allotted slot, he decided to spontaneously fill the time with an exercise. He asked everybody to turn to the person next to them and ask them to finish the following statement: “I am…”
And, being the well trained humans that we are and from years of schooling, grades, tests, exams, quizzes, etc., audience members started trying to poke and prod at the presenter to get a feel at what the “right answers” might be. But, appropriately so, he left it more vague than directed. He told audience members to simply keep asking the person to finish the statement over and over again until they couldn’t think of any other way to possibly finish it.
And so it went. I, of course, only experienced the exchange that I had with my partner and it went something like this: “I am… a human.” “I am… a man.” “I am… a martial artist.” “I am… a vegan.” “I am… an athlete.” “I am… a teacher.” “I am… an empath.” “I am… an introvert.” “I am… kind.” “I am… compassionate.” “I am… trustworthy.” Etc. And it went similarly for the person I was asking as well.
What I took away from this exercise (and what the speaker later summed up as being the main point) was that how you finish that sentence is indicative of how you view yourself and resultantly, how you live your life. In other words, the words that follow, “I am” follow you.
By repeatedly having to finish that sentence, you have to repeatedly declare what identifies you as a unique individual. And what made the exercise incredibly powerful was that the more you had to finish the statement, the deeper you had to dig. Just about everybody started out superficial and identified who they were from the outside (human, man, woman, etc.) and slowly, slowly, worked their way in (empath, kind, compassionate).
And while this was a spontaneous 5-10 minute exercise that was really only supposed to fill a technical difficulties gap, it turned out to be one of the most memorable experiences I had from the entire weekend. Because what’s easy (and common) is watching and listening to people tell you who you should be and why. What’s hard (and less common) is telling other people who you are—who you really are—and why. But, as is true in most everything in life, what’s easy now will make things difficult later and what’s difficult now will make things easy later.
Try this exercise with someone you feel comfortable with. Make them finish the sentence and push them to finish it even past when they say they’re done. Encourage them to keep digging and challenge them to stay outside of their comfort zone. Then, do the same yourself. Or, even better yet, do this by yourself on a piece of paper so you don’t have to get all self-conscious and worried about looking some kind of way. Go as long as you can. And most importantly, be completely and brutally honest.
Saying you’re “considerate” if you’re really “selfish” isn’t going to help you. What’s going to help you is understanding who you are—who you really are. Because in order to become who you want to be, you have to understand who you are, first. Just like, in order to travel to where you want to be, you have to know where you are, first. Maps are pointless if you don’t know where you’re currently located. So, take some time now or in the next few minutes to figure it out… who are you?
This post became the introduction for: 20 Rich and Stirring Thomas Moore Quotes from Original Self on Life, Fulfillment, and Identity
NEW In The Shop: Don’t Let The Tame Ones Tell You How To Live [Poster]
Why We ♥ It: Some of the best advice I (Matt here) ever got was: don’t take life advice from people who aren’t living a life you want to live and don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice. I created this poster to act as a reminder to listen more closely to our role models and less closely to our critics, trolls, and tamed-comfort-zone-hugger acquaintances. It’s also a perfect gift for the outdoor adventurer, travel enthusiast, or solo explorer (or soon to be). Available in print or digital download. 👇🏼
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Written by Matt Hogan
Founder of MoveMe Quotes. On a mission to help busy people do inner work—for better mental health; for healing; for personal growth. Find me on Twitter / IG / Medium. I also share daily insights here. 🌱
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