Richard Carlson Quote on Dealing With Bad Moods

“When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life.”

Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Beyond the Quote (179/365)

And yet, low moods seem to draw out of us those very thoughts about our lives don’t they? It isn’t when we’re in a good mood that we decide to sit down and analyze our lives. When things are good—things are good! What’s there to analyze? You’re moving fluidly from one moment to the next and joyfully embracing the wonders of the world around you. When you’re in a good mood you’re laughing, dancing, singing, playful, excited, and warm. There’s nothing to diagnose and there’s nothing to fix—and so on with the good mood momentum we go!

It’s like when your car is in a good mood and is driving smoothly—there’s nothing to think about. If it ain’t broke—don’t fix it, right? We simply accept our cars for the state that they’re in and let our minds carry on elsewhere. There’s no need to think about the brakes, or analyze the sound system, or check the fluids, or pop the hood.

Until, of course, something does go wrong. That’s when your minds switches to “analyze mode” so that the problem(s) can be diagnosed and fixed. Because now your car is no longer making things easier in your life, but has instead become an obstacle to where you want to go. And in order to continue going, it must be analyzed. And so you do. And so it gets fixed and back to the road you go.

It seems to me that the same is true for us in our lives. It isn’t until something is “wrong,” or “broken,” or “painful” that we even think about analyzing particular aspects of our lives. It’s not until we get a toothache that we get our teeth checked. It isn’t until our heart is broken that we even think to look at our hearts. It isn’t until we make a wrong decision that we think to look closer at our minds. It isn’t until we’re in a bad mood that we decide to look at our life as a whole.

But, is that the best strategy? I’m not so sure it is. This is why we schedule regular maintenance checks with our car so that we can proactively get the fluids and brakes checked, make sure the oil is changed, and do a complete inspection to clear the car for safe and continued use. This is also why we have regular doctor and dentist appointments so that we can analyze our current state of health and proactively address things before they spiral into worse things. Maybe we should be doing the same things with our hearts, minds, and lives?

Some people opt to see professionals who can help them work through their mental and emotional problems on a regular basis so that they don’t spiral. Some people choose to journal. Some people choose to meditate. Some people practice expressing gratitude. And what you’ll tend to see, from the people who do regular check-ins with their minds and emotions is that they’re relatively more stable because they can proactive address issues before they grow out of control. They can see a relationship heading in a different direction and can start to manage and deal with those feelings ahead of time. They can notice toxic feelings when they’re in their infancy and confront them when they’re small rather than ignoring them and letting them get big. They can see how their decisions are one of the most pivotal factors in their lives and can better manage how those decisions are made so as to achieve better outcomes.

It seems to me that the worst time to check in with yourself is when something breaks. How many times have you experienced a “convenient” car breakdown? How about a “convenient” root canal? How about a “convenient” heartbreak, or mood swing, or anxiety attack? Maintenance is scheduled on your time and is proactive. Breakdowns happen on their own time, are reactive, and could care less about you or your schedule.

And so maybe, since our tendency is to analyze our life when we’re in a low mood, maybe we should try to do the opposite? Maybe we should try to notice more when things are going well? When we’re laughing, dancing, singing, playful, excited, and warm. When our teeth don’t hurt. When our body feels relatively good. When our mood is good. And maybe, as we find all of the reasons why everything is good we could express gratitude to reinforce the momentum of the mood and keep it going? Maybe gratitude is the secret to maintaining those good moods that we crave so much? Because there’s always something to be grateful for and it’s impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment, eh? So, why not?

A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. Confront things that need to be confronted—yes. Analyze things that need to be addressed—of course. But, learn to let things go, too. Not everything is going to work out exactly as you want it to—and that’s okay. Check in with everything else in your life that is working and is playing out okay—and be thankful. For, you never know what the next moment might bring. But, know that if you take care of this moment now, the next moment will take care of itself too.

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