10 Empowering Brené Brown Quotes from The Gifts of Imperfection

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Excerpt: Letting go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embracing who you are is hard. These quotes from The Gifts of Imperfection will help…

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Introduction: The Gift of Dropping All of Our Desires for Perfection

What a gift it would be if we were able to drop all of our desires for perfection. And I’m not just talking about some of our desires for perfection—I mean all of them. The desire to look perfect; to have perfect grades/ outcomes/ performances; to be perceived as perfect by others; to have perfect answers to questions; to be the perfect mother/ father/ spouse/ sibling; to have the perfect circumstances; to live the perfect life… why? 

Because every single one of these desires creates suffering. They create unattainable, unrealistic goals that lead to constant disappointment, self-judgement, and less acceptance of your self and others. And in this world—in this reality—there is no such thing as perfect.

Perfection is the standard that will drive you mad in its pursuit. Trying to look perfect is the standard that takes positive intentions from being constructive to being extreme and destructive. “Healthy eating” escalates into extreme dieting and/or fasting. “Working out” turns into extreme, obsessive, and/or excessive exercising. Getting a quick aesthetic procedure done escalates into more intense plastic surgery.

Moreover, trying to produce perfect results will leave you short every time—unless, of course, you only produce results in areas that never challenge you and are well within your domain of knowledge. Go ahead, answer 2+2 for the rest of your life. That will give you a perfect streak of results.

But if you want to grow, being imperfect is a prerequisite—after all, you can’t improve or grow what’s already perfect. And as long as you’re operating under the mindset that you have to be perfect, why would you want to step into a domain that’s outside your area of knowledge and risk being imperfect?

What about wanting to be perceived as perfect by others? Wanting to be perceived as perfect by others means you have to act perfectly in a way that aligns with each of their individual perceptions of perfection and never make a mistake in that acting process. And not only is that a wasted effort (for obvious reasons) but it can be really annoying too. Why do I say that? Because when you really think about it, how do we connect as humans anyway? Is it by being the perfect person? Think about your best friends.  Are they perfect? Or are they perfectly imperfect?

We connect through our vulnerabilities. It’s precisely what makes us imperfect that leads us to our deepest human connections. Your best friends are the ones who have shown you their biggest weaknesses, their deepest fears, their greatest flaws, their most personal vulnerabilities, and I’m sure your best friends are the only ones who know those things about you too. People who try to be perfect are annoying because they close the door to the exact part of them that lets you in—to connect and really get to know them—when ironically, they’re probably trying to put on a perfect “front” so that other people might “like” them enough to want to connect and really get to know them.

What about wanting to be the perfect mother/ father/ spouse/ sibling? Or wanting to have perfect circumstances or the perfect life? Yeah, good luck with that. We are ALL imperfect people, making imperfect decisions, with imperfect information, under imperfect circumstances, in a wildly imperfect world. I guess, that’s one way to put it, right? Hopefully by now you can see how wanting any sliver of this to be perfect is self-destructive and wasteful.

So, how then should we act? What approach would be better? …Why not try adopting the mindset of being perfectly imperfect? Try being wildly authentic in your most true form and unapologetically embrace each and every one of your flaws for what they are—the uniquenesses that make you, you! …The person who wouldn’t be who they are without those exact uniqueness as they come together in you.

So, how should you try to look? Flaw-some. How should you try to perform? The absolute best you can with no expectations in mind and ready to recover from mistakes. How should you answer questions? Honestly and/or ready admit your ignorance. How should you live your life? With band-aids ready, lots of reading material, and people you can be vulnerable with. Not only will this be more constructive and useful, but it will lead to more authenticity and connection and less anxiety and stress. And that’s something that I think might help us all.

Below, you will find our list of 10 Brené Brown quotes from The Gifts of Imperfection that will help you further let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and better embrace who you are.

You will find her elaborate on how your imperfections should be further cultivated and applied in the world so that you can, not only develop a deeper sense of self, but express yourself in a way that allows you to better connect to and deepen relationships with others.

This list isn’t only for “perfectionists” either. It’s for us all. Whether we realize it or not, I think we all have some hesitation and reservations about embracing our imperfections.

It exposes us and leaves us vulnerable. But as you read above and are about to read more about below, that’s exactly the space where we need to spend more time. I hope these ideas find you well. Cheers to flaws!

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The List: 10 Empowering Brené Brown Quotes from The Gifts of Imperfection

“Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect.  Perfection is an unattainable goal.  Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception – we want to be perceived as perfect.  Again, this is unattainable – there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“If we want to make meaning, we need to make art.  Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing – it doesn’t matter.  As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives.  As it turns out, it’s not merely benign or ‘too bad’ if we don’t use the gifts that we’ve been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being.  When we don’t use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle.  We feel disconnected and weighted down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“‘I’m not very creative’ doesn’t work.  There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people.  There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.  Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear.  It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing: We are not alone.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion.  Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us.  Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it.  Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.  Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.  Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.  It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.’  It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.’”

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

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Picture Quotes from The Gifts of Imperfection to Share:

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If you enjoyed these Brené Brown quotes from The Gifts of Imperfection then you should certainly check out her book in full!  It comes warmly recommended: