On Being “Cool” and On Being a “Dork” and Why We Get These Ideas Backwards As A Society

For anyone that wants to go above and beyond, this article might hit better if you do the following before reading:

1. Make a list of the Top 3 reasons why you might consider yourself to be, “Cool”
2. Make a list of the Top 3 reasons why you might consider yourself to be a, “Dork”

That is all. Once you finish with those two lists, continue below. Or, if you’re in a hurry and choose not to make the lists, feel free to continue below anyway.

Beyond the Quote (232/365)

Think about all of the reasons why you might consider yourself to be, “cool.” You might list some things about how you look, maybe list some things you have, or maybe even point out things about your reputation. “Cool” is determined by comparison. The way you look can only be “cool” or not in comparison to how someone else looks. What you have can only be cool if someone else doesn’t. Your reputation is only cool if it’s in contrast to other “lower” reputations. And so on.

Now, think about all of the reasons why you might consider yourself to be a, “dork.” You might, again, list some things about how you look, maybe list some things you have, and maybe even point out things about your reputation. The difference with what you would put on this list, however, are drastic. Why? Because “dorkiness” is determined by introspection. It’s the opposite of comparison. What makes you a “dork” is what makes you unique as a human. This list would include all of your vulnerabilities, quirks, guilty pleasures, and secret obsessions. It’s a list of what ultimately makes you, you.

With that in mind, and as you inspect the list you created from above, do you see how backwards these terms are used in society? We put being, “cool” on a pedestal and we demean people who are labeled as “dorks.” We base who we give our time, energy, and effort to based on where people land in the various comparison spectrums when really, shouldn’t we be basing how we judge people on their individuality? But, how to do that when anything that looks like, feels like, or shows people acting like a “dork” gets bastardized and suppressed? Why would people ever want to share their quirks, vulnerabilities, or unique interests if it’s only going to ostracize them from the group? Better to conform, mould their life into the model of what’s “cool” and try to rank in the comparison game.

And that’s the tragedy that boils down so many people’s lives. They suffocate their individuality and try their hardest to become someone they’re not. And the worst part is, many people do this because the only other option is isolation, belittling, or even bullying. And how sad is that? How sad it is to crush the “dork” right out of the person and force them to become a product of what’s advertised through media. And it’s no wonder so many people are feeling so sad and unhappy! They’ve been told that what makes them, them, is not what’s accepted in the world and that they have to change their identity to be accepted. And that, indeed, is nothing short of a tragedy.

So, rather than live your life to try and be “cool,” be the person who fully embraces their flaws and is the first to admit to their “dorkiness.” Point out your quirks. Share your vulnerabilities. Dive deep into your guilty pleasures. And let people in on your secret little obsessions. Not only will this effort help shift the conversation away from “cool,” but it will also help you and so many others connect to people in ways they may never have before. As humans, we only ever truly connect through our vulnerabilities because they are precisely what makes us human. Perfection is the opposite of what it means to be human. And the more “perfect” somebody is, the more weary of them we should be. Sharing imperfections is sharing the experience of being human. And THAT is how you connect to other humans. Not by trying to be more “cool” than them. But, by being more real with them. Keep it real. Keep it dorky. Keep it, you.

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