“Emotion is not opposed to reason; our emotions assign value to experiences and thus are the foundation of reason. Our self-experience is the product of the balance between our rational and our emotional brains. When these two systems are in balance, we ‘feel like ourselves.’ However, when our survival is at stake, these systems can function relatively independently.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 64)
“Meditation means to be oneself, and love means to share one’s being with somebody else. Meditation gives you the treasure, and love helps you to share it. These are the two most basic things, and all else is nonessential.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 23)
“’Do you want to know what I think?’ The best answer might be, ‘no.’ Because this person is not very good at offering useful feedback. Because you didn’t create this product or service or performance to please this person. They’re not the customer. Because you’re not going to revise this any time soon. The movie is made, and specific feedback isn’t going to get the movie remade. Just because criticism is on offer doesn’t mean you have to seek it out or even listen to it.”
Seth Godin
“In many places drugs have displaced therapy and enabled patients to suppress their problems without addressing the underlying issues. Antidepressants can make all the difference in the world in helping with day-to-day functioning, and if it comes to a choice between taking a sleeping pill and drinking yourself into a stupor every night to get a few hours of sleep, there is no question which is preferable. For people who are exhausted from trying to make it on their own through yoga classes, workout routines, or simply toughing it out, medications often can bring life-saving relief. The SSRIs can be very helpful in making traumatized people less enslaved by their emotions, but they should only be considered adjuncts in their overall treatment.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 36) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“[Elvin] Semrad taught us that most human suffering is related to love and loss and that the job of therapists is to help people ‘acknowledge, experience, and bear’ the reality of life—with all its pleasures and heartbreak. ‘The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves,’ he’d say, urging us to be honest with ourselves about every facet of our experience. He often said that people can never get better without knowing what they know and feeling what they feel.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 26) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think. We have discovered that helping victims of trauma find the words to describe what has happened to them is profoundly meaningful, but usually it is not enough. The act of telling the story doesn’t necessarily alter the automatic physical and hormonal responses of bodies that remain hypervigilant, prepared to be assaulted or violated at any time. For real change to take place, the body needs to learn that the danger has passed and to live in the reality of the present.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 21) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 21) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“Imagination is absolutely critical to the quality of our lives. Our imagination enables us to leave our routine everyday existence by fantasizing about travel, food, sex, falling in love, or having the last word—all the things that make life interesting. Imagination gives us the opportunity to envision new possibilities—it is an essential launchpad for making our hopes come true. It fires our creativity, relieves our boredom, alleviates our pain, enhances our pleasure, and enriches our most intimate relationships. When people are compulsively and constantly pulled back into the past, to the last time they felt intense involvement and deep emotions, they suffer from a failure of imagination, a loss of mental flexibility. Without imagination there is no hope, no chance to envision a better future, no place to go, no goal to reach.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 17)
“The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”
Elvin Semrad, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 11)
“When I use the word ignorance, I don’t use it in any negative sense—I don’t mean absence of knowledge. I mean something very fundamental, very present, very positive. It is how we are. It is the very nature of existence to remain mysterious, and that’s why it is so beautiful.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 17)
“Literally from the first doctor’s visit with your newborn, they are telling you how your kid stacks up against other kids—their height and weight percentile, etc etc. It never stops…unless you stop it. You are not raising the average child, you are raising YOUR child. How many of the things you’re worried about as a parent would worry you if you didn’t know or didn’t look at what other families were doing?”
Ryan Holiday
“People often mistake highs for happiness. Highs are short-lived and intense. They leave you feeling empty afterward. Therefore highs often become addictive. Happiness is long-lived and calming. It’s like pleasant background music to everything else you do in life. Happiness is the side effect of wanting to chase nothing, change nothing.”
Mark Manson
“You are young in proportion to your flexibility. Watch a small child—so soft, tender, and flexible. As you grow old everything becomes tight, hard, inflexible. But you can remain absolutely young to the very moment of your death if you remain flexible.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 13)
“What do we say when a customer or colleague says, ‘thank you’? For a long time, it was ‘you’re welcome.’ This indicates that you put in some effort and you’re willing to do it again on request. Recently ‘no problem’ has become more common. This implies that the effort could have been a huge hassle, but this time, it was okay. For people who are choosing to do the work of hospitality and connection, though, the most accurate answer might be, ‘my pleasure.’ After all, you had a choice, and you chose to do this work precisely so that it could have an impact on someone else. The story we tell ourselves about the work can be fuel for finding ways to do it better. If it’s not a pleasure, and you’re doing things like this all day, it might be a good time to find something else to do.”
Seth Godin