“We all intend to be perfect but none of us are. If only we could all see each other as we intended to be, instead of as who we are.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word You Cannot Say (Page 148)
“What can be truly loved about a person is inseparable from their limitations.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 341)
“It’s a good idea to tell the person you are confronting exactly what you would like them to do instead of what they have done or currently are doing. You might think, ‘if they loved me, they would know what to do.’ That’s the voice of resentment. Assume ignorance before malevolence. No one has a direct pipeline to your wants and needs—not even you. If you try to determine exactly what you want, you might find that it is more difficult than you think. The person oppressing you is likely no wiser than you, especially about you. Tell them directly what would be preferable, instead, after you have sorted it out. Make your request as small and reasonable as possible—but ensure that its fulfillment would satisfy you. In that manner, you come to the discussion with a solution, instead of just a problem.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 287)
“Any hierarchy creates winners and losers. The winners are, of course, more likely to justify the hierarchy and the losers to criticize it. But (1) the collective pursuit of any valued goal produces a hierarchy (as some will be better and some worse at that pursuit no matter what it is) and (2) it is the pursuit of goals that in large part lends life its sustaining meaning. We experience almost all the emotions that make life deep and engaging as a consequence of moving successfully towards something deeply desired and valued. The price we pay for that involvement is the inevitable creation of hierarchies of success, while the inevitable consequence is difference in outcome. Absolute equality would therefore require the sacrifice of value itself—and then there would be nothing worth living for.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 303)
“Every word we speak is a gift from our ancestors. Every thought we think was thought previously by someone smarter. The highly functional infrastructure that surrounds us, particularly in the West, is a gift from our ancestors: the comparatively uncorrupt political and economic systems, the technology, the wealth, the lifespan, the freedom, the luxury, and the opportunity. Culture takes with one hand, but in some fortunate places it gives more with the other. To think about culture only as oppressive is ignorant and ungrateful, as well as dangerous. This is not to say that culture should not be subject to criticism.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 302)
“People, including children (who are people too, after all), don’t seek to minimize risk. They seek to optimize it. They drive and walk and love and play so that they achieve what they desire, but they push themselves a bit at the same time, too, so they continue to develop. Thus, if things are made too safe, people (including children) start to figure out ways to make them dangerous again.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 287)
“Kindness is not a currency, and if you treat it like one, then that is not kindness.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word You Cannot Say (Page 131)
“It’s only the idea that everyone else KNOWS who they are that’s causing you pain. But no one knows who they really are. You are an overflowing river that shifts its banks when the rains come. That’s why you cannot hold on to who you are.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word You Cannot Say (Page 120)
“No one will ever tell you how great you can be. You will never be asked to do something incredible with your life. You will never get a letter in the mail that says, ‘Dear you, please, do something important with your time.’ Even if you do it quietly you have to give yourself the life you want.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 72)
“Here is the secret we all know: We all want to love. We’re all afraid we are alone. We’re afraid no one will know who we are. Because on some level, we all know you can die without love, without anyone, without even you knowing who you are. (Unless you take care of you, and give yourself love. Unless you meet yourself, inside yourself. Unless you know yourself like you were meant to. Forgive yourself for being you—you have done nothing wrong and tomorrow is another chance. I swear, there is a day after, every day.)” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 68)
“We forget that how a person acts in each moment is not who they are, that each person is a series of moments and we cannot judge any moment in isolation, and use that moment to define them. It is not up to others, it is up to us, which moments we want to hang on to, for good or for bad. We forget our successes and enshrine our failures. We forget there is still a child in all of us, begging for love. We forget that this is true of every person we meet. We only hear the loudest voices when really, we should be listening to the quietest.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 43)
“The wind does not stop being the wind when it stops blowing. A wave does not stop being a wave when it crashes against the shore. A story does not stop being a story when you turn the page.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 25)
“Everyone you meet along the way is just someone at a different point in their story. So be patient and kind. But don’t let anyone tell you how your story should go. Only you know how your story goes.” ~ Iain Thomas, Every Word you Cannot Say (Page 24)
“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” ~ F.M. Alexander, James Clear Blog
“‘One day I’ll make it.’ Is your goal taking up so much of your attention that you reduce the present moment to a means to an end? Is it taking the joy out of your doing? Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind pattern, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better. A perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction and nonfulfillment, don’t you agree?”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 85) (Read Matt’s Blog on this quote)
“You must determine where you are going in your life, because you cannot get there unless you move in that direction. Random wandering will not move you forward. It will instead disappoint and frustrate you and make you anxious and unhappy and hard to get along with (and then resentful, and then vengeful, and then worse).”
Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules for Life (Page 282) (Read Matt’s Blog on this quote)
“Beginning meditation practice is an excellent opportunity to contemplate how we spend our time. How much of what we do is important and truly necessary? One of the obstacles to meditation is being pulled in too many directions. What drains us; what nourishes us? Are there activities we can postpone or eliminate? It will be helpful to ask questions like these at the outset. Awareness lays the ground for a strong commitment to practice. Taming our mind isn’t a hobby or an extracurricular activity—it’s the most important thing we could be doing. It can even help streamline a pressured situation because it gives us clarity, peace, and fortitude. So while we may need to simplify our life in order to meditate, a benefit of meditation is that it will make our life simpler.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 216)
“The journey of the bodhisattva warrior starts with the basic attitude of enlarging our motivation to include the welfare of others. This is a simple response to this dark age. Let’s begin right now by engaging love and compassion however we can—not tomorrow, but today. By cultivating courage and confidence in ourselves and maintaining our seat, we can enjoy creating a sane environment; we can enjoy creating an enlightened society. This doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start by looking at your own life and see what you can do, one step at a time. Love is the saving grace.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 212)
“Generosity, discipline, patience, exertion, meditation, and wisdom keep turning our mind to enlightenment like a flower seeking sunlight. This brings genuine delight. The more awake we are, the more connected we feel with other sentient beings. The more awake we are, the more we want to help others achieve the same freedom.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 210)
“We use discipline to clear the road for the future by deciding what to do and not to do now. It’s learning what to accept and what to reject. We’re able to see more and more clearly the difference between virtue and nonvirtue—gewa and migewa. Our minds are strong through practice, so we’re not seduced into acting on negative emotions, even in our mind. We know such actions will create more pain for us.” ~ Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 204)