“Contemplating a flower for three seconds can be a captivating solitary journey back to original geometry, which is always revitalizing.”
Henry Skolimowski, via Sunbeams (Page 112)
“The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not, the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you ‘come to terms with’ only to discover that they are still there. The real questions refuse to be placated. They barge into your life at the times when it seems most important for them to stay away. They are the questions asked most frequently and answered most inadequately, the ones that reveal their true natures slowly, reluctantly, most often against your will.”
Ingrid Bengis, via Sunbeams (Page 112)
“If a friend betrays us, our reverse clause is to learn from how this happened and how to forgive this person’s mistake. If we’re thrown in prison, our reverse clause is that we can refuse to be broken by this change of events and try to be of service to our fellow prisoners. When a technical glitch erases our work, our reverse clause is that we can start fresh and do it better this time. Our progress can be impeded or disrupted, but the mind can always be changed—it retains the power to redirect the path.”
Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic (Page 167)
“Like the lotus flower that is born out of mud, we must honor the darkest parts of ourselves and the most painful of our life’s experiences, because they are what allow us to birth our most beautiful self. We need the messy, muddy past, the muck of our human life—the combination of every hurt, wound, loss, and unfulfilled desire blended with every joy, success, and blessing to give us the wisdom, the perspective, and the drive to step into the most magnificent expression of ourselves. This is the gift of the shadow.”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 142)
“When we hold on to our resentments toward ourselves or anyone else, we bind ourselves to the very thing that has caused us pain by a cord stronger than steel. As my dear friend Brent BecVar shares, refusing to forgive those who have hurt us ‘is like being a drowning person whose head is being held under water by someone else. At some point you realize that you have to be the one who fights your way back to the surface.’“
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 141)
“[When asked if she held any anger towards Hitler] I wouldn’t hold on to any anger toward Hitler. If I did, he would win the war, because I would still be carrying him around with me wherever I went.”
Edith Eva Eger, Auschwitz survivor, via The Shadow Effect (Page 140)
“What are the chances that the busiest person you know is actually the most productive? We tend to associate busyness with goodness and believe that spending many hours at work should be rewarded. Instead, evaluate what you are doing, why you are doing it, and where accomplishing it will take you. If you don’t have a good answer, then stop.”
Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic (Page 164)
“What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin.”
Henry Ward Beecher, via Sunbeams (Page 111)
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived life of the parents.”
Carl Jung, via Sunbeams (Page 111)
“To be a whole human being, we have to acknowledge the existence of all our feelings, human qualities, and experiences and value not just the parts of ourselves that our ego has deemed acceptable, but everything that we have deemed wrong or bad. If we are willing to allow our dark side to be a part of the whole of who we are, we will find it comes equipped with all the power, skill, intelligence, and force needed to do great things in the world.”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 133)
“Whatever we judge or condemn in another is ultimately a disowned or rejected part of ourselves. When we are in the midst of projection, it appears as though we are seeing the other person, but in reality we are seeing a hidden aspect of ourselves.”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 117)
“Only when we stop pretending to be something we are not—when we no longer feel the need to hide or overcompensate for either our weaknesses or our gifts—will we know the freedom of expressing our authentic self and have the ability to make choices that are based on the life we truly desire to live.”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 106)
“Heroes are only as strong as their villains.”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 103)
“Every one of us has constructed an ego-based identity in which we have assigned ourselves an acceptable role that eventually smothers our full self-expression. Rather than being who we really are, we become a characterization of the person we think we ‘should’ be.”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 100)
“We possess every human characteristic and emotion, whether active or dormant, whether conscious or unconscious. There is nothing we can conceive of that we are not. We are everything—that which we consider good and that which we consider bad. How could we know courage if we have never known fear? How could we know happiness if we never experienced sadness? How could we know light if we never knew dark?”
Debbie Ford, The Shadow Effect (Page 95)
“One has not understood until one has forgotten it.”
Suzuki Daisetz, via Sunbeams (Page 109)
“It had done me good to be somewhat parched by the heat and drenched by the rain of life.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, via Sunbeams (Page 109)
“Anything that is given can be at once taken away. We have to learn never to expect anything, and when it comes it’s no more than a gift on loan.”
John McGahern, The Leavetaking, via Sunbeams (Page 109)
“One does not magically get one’s act together—it is a matter of many individual choices. It’s a matter of getting up at the right time, making your bed, resisting shortcuts, investing in yourself, doing your work. And make no mistake: while the individual action is small, its cumulative impact is not.”
Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic (Page 161)