“Some days I show up and do the best writing of my life. Other days, many days, I show up and do writing that is underwhelmingly average (and reeking of a few typos). The lesson I hope you walk away with in watching me work is not that I am flawless, but that a deeply flawed individual can achieve something that transcends his lackluster abilities by simply showing up, again and again, over the course of a lifetime.”
Cole Schafer
“’Be yourself’ Really? Which self? The self you were when you were two years old, almost out of diapers? The self you were when you were screaming with the fans at the big game? The self you were after a long night? How about this: Become the self you’d be proud to be. Hang out with people and ideas that help you become that self. Act like that self every chance you get.”
Seth Godin
“Ms. Jules took her tea to the comfy cushions, and—in what looked like it might be the first time that day—sat down. She closed her eyes and let out a tremendous sigh. Her shoulders visibly slumped. She’d always had the ability to relax them; she’d just needed permission to do so.”
Becky Chambers, A Psalm For The Wild-Built (Page 33)
“Dex did not know any of the roads there, nor any of the people who waved as bike and wagon zipped past. There was a strange comfort about being in an unfamiliar town not too far from home, where the familiarity was limited to building materials and social customs. It was the ideal mix of getting away yet not standing out.”
Becky Chambers, A Psalm For The Wild-Built (Page 21)
“The greatest enemy of love is attachment. Why? Because it tries to disguise itself as love. There is a similarity between closeness and clinging that easily confuses the mind. A well- fed connection between two people can create a nurturing feeling of closeness while a fear of loss or craving to control creates the type of clinging that tries to grasp another person with tension. Closeness can foster a relationship, while clinging can stifle a relationship and drain it of love. Attachment is at the root of behaviors that lead to relationships breaking. Love is meant to be grounded in freedom. Attachment is an opposing force to freedom; it tries to keep things the same, while freedom understands that change is ultimately good.”
Yung Pueblo
“When you start protecting your time, something interesting happens. People who depend on you learn to plan better themselves. They start respecting your boundaries. And the stuff that’s truly urgent becomes clear. Will some people be disappointed? Definitely. And that’s okay. Because building a meaningful life sometimes means disappointing others to avoid constantly disappointing yourself. How you spend your time is a reflection of your priorities. And you don’t need to apologize for prioritizing what matters to you.”
Justin Welsh
“When we habitually prioritize other people’s urgencies, we’re really setting a precedent that our time (and our family’s time) is less important than anything else that might pop up. Our goals are less important. Our boundaries aren’t real. When we drop our work to handle someone else’s emergency, we reinforce a dangerous message: Your poor planning is more important than my well-planned day.”
Justin Welsh
“It’s easy to assume that getting rich in money will also mean you are rich in time, but it is often the case that when you earn more money, you end up with less time and more responsibilities. Being rich is nice, but what you really want to optimize for is (1) an income that exceeds your spending by a healthy margin and (2) a lifestyle that is free from rushing.”
James Clear
“The purpose of letting go is not to erase emotions, but to acknowledge their presence and transform your relationship to them. Being able to let go while a tough emotion is passing through helps us be okay with not being okay. Letting go reaches deeper levels when your observation of what is happening inside you is done with total acceptance and when you remember that every part of life is impermanent. Especially in the mind, adding more tension to the tension that is already there will not make things better. When tension is met with unconditional acceptance, it has the space it needs to naturally unfold and release. Unloading and facing the mental weight of past hurt is never easy, but it is possible, especially when you feel ready for a great transformation.”
Yung Pueblo
“To the right of my computer monitor, between two photos of my boys, is a picture given to me by the sports psychologist Jonathan Fader. It’s the famed Dr. Oliver Sacks and behind him is a large sign he kept in his office that just said NO! By saying no—to interviews, to meetings, to ‘Can I pick your brain for a minute?’—I was saying yes to what matters: my family. My work. My sanity.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 307)
“Precisely when we think we’ve earned the right to relax our discipline is exactly when we need it most. The payoff for all our efforts? So much more temptation. So many more distractions. So many more opportunities. The only solution? Even more self-mastery! Achieving things is great. Becoming a selfish jerk because you accomplished them? Thinking you’re suddenly better or matter more than anyone else? C’mon.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 292)
“Don’t try to be efficient with your grief. Just like healing, moving through grief can be a messy process. An important thing to understand is that you can grieve for years while still living a full and enjoyable life. Letting go is not a quick process, feeling sadness is totally normal, the heaviness of loss can sit in your heart for a long time. The sadness may come up over and over again, sometimes triggered by something small, let it arise and pass away. Let yourself experience grief in an organic manner. Losing someone essential to your life is not an easy thing to overcome.”
Yung Pueblo
“Queen Elizabeth inherited the monarchy. Marcus Aurelius was selected for the purple as a boy. But it wasn’t the throne that made either of them kingly, it was their behavior. They were what the ancients called first citizens, for their character as much as their rank. As Marcus said, his aim was never to be the most powerful king, never to conquer the most territory, or build the most beautiful buildings. Instead, he was after ‘perfection of character: to live your last day, every day, without frenzy or sloth or pretense.’ It just happens that wonderful external accomplishments, like those achieved by Elizabeth and Marcus, can come out of internal endeavor. They are not the goal, they are the byproduct.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 283)
“In the end, it’s not about what we do, it’s about how we do it and, by extension, who we are. Too often, we find people choosing to be great at their profession over being a great human being, believing that success or art or fame or power must be pursued to the exclusion of all else. Does it have to be that way? Does being loved have to be at odds with being lovely?”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 282)