Mira Kirshenbaum Quote on Retreating Back So That You Can Keep Moving Forward in Life

The French have an expression: Reculer pour mieux sauter. This means that you have to step back, retreat a little, if you’re going to successfully jump over something. Want to jump across a ditch? You don’t just walk to the edge and then leap. You walk to the edge, gauge the distance, and then retreat a bit to give yourself room to get a full running start before you leap. Sometimes we can’t take the next leap forward unless we take the time to step back first. Where will you get the strength to sauter (leap forward) if you can’t allow yourself to reculer (pull back)?”

Mira Kirshenbaum, The Gift of a Year (Page 87)

Beyond the Quote (258/365)

Keep moving forward is the motto, yes. But, how to move forward if you walked yourself up to a ditch (as is often the case in life)? Moving forward in that case is to fall into the ditch and get stuck (or worse). So, as Kirshenbaum illustrates above, we move backwards so that we can gain the strength and momentum needed to run and jump over the ditch. In other words, sometimes the best way to keep moving forward is to move backwards, first.

In many cases, people walk themselves up to a ditch and stubbornly refuse to step back because stepping back would indicate regression. But, to regress so that you may advance isn’t really to regress at all—it’s a strategy. Stubbornly standing at a ditch refusing to move is the real regression because nothing is happening! It’s stagnation. And stagnation is the antithesis of growth.

This idea of backing up so that you can jump is pretty easy to understand. You might be thinking to yourself, “Duh? Who’s just going to stand and stare at a ditch without doing anything?” Well, when it comes to life application, I think you might be surprised. Let’s take a look at some examples of times when you might need to take a few steps back in order to catapult yourself forward:

• Career — Maybe when you started your career you were cruising along just fine. You were hitting deadlines, making a good impression with your coworkers and boss, and getting steady promotions. But, maybe at some point you hit a plateau and were no longer making the same progress that you were before—you reached a ditch. Rather than continue staring at the ditch, maybe it’s time to take a few steps back. Maybe reinvesting in your education will give you the momentum you need to cross that threshold? Or maybe reinvesting in your own sanity—a spiritual retreat, meditation, writing—is what’s needed? Or maybe it’s time to consider taking a lower level position in a different company that doesn’t have similar ditches at higher levels?
• Personal — Maybe you feel like you haven’t grown as a person in a while? Maybe after college you stopped reading, writing, giving presentations, and talking to people outside of your comfort zone? Or, maybe you’ve hit a plateau with where you’re at physically? Maybe it’s time to take a few steps back from what you’re staring at every day. Maybe it’s time to change up the workout routine by cutting back on weight and focusing more on clean technique? Maybe it’s time to backoff the Netflix and time to open up a book for a page or two? Maybe it’s time to practice having small conversations with strangers so that you can build the momentum and courage you need to shoot your shot with that really cute girl or boy you see every day?
• Relationship — Maybe you’ve reached a plateau in your relationship? Maybe you and your partner have shifted out of the “honeymoon” phase and have entered into a more “complacent” phase. Maybe there’s nothing really wrong, but nothing is really growing or moving forward either. Maybe you’re both staring at the ditch together and are refusing to step back to jump over it out of stubbornness (or blindness)? Maybe it’s time to take some steps back into the honeymoon phase and focus on the basics? Maybe it’s time to do for your loved one what you did for them when you first fell in love? Or maybe it’d be a better idea to spend some quality time apart? This way you can refresh in your mind what you love about them so much and can reunite with the energy needed to clear the ditch?

As is often the case, the mental analogy only helps when you take the time needed to customize its message to your life. Ask yourself where the “ditches” are and think about why you might be stuck staring at them? Think about how a reculer (pull back) might help you gain the strength and momentum you need to sauter (leap forward) and really keep moving forward.

Taking steps back can feel awful and completely demoralizing. But, better to be temporarily demoralized than to be permanently stuck with the feeling of stagnation (and later regret). Suck it up and back it up. Chart your path carefully and critically. Then charge forward with all of your might. Repeat in other areas of life as needed. Adjust and stay aware of where you are on your path with each step along the way. Down the road, you’ll be so thankful that you took those steps back and that you’re not staring at that same damn ditch anymore. Because that sight gets old, quick.

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