“I don’t fix problems, I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.”
Louise Hay
Beyond the Quote (337/365)
Life isn’t easy—for any of us. I think we all can agree on that. If so, it can be assumed that life is hard—for all of us. Now, we can never know for sure how “hard” life is or isn’t for another person. We can only ever judge another person’s life from the outside looking in, which is an INCREDIBLY limited and superficial perspective. Of course, if someone is homeless or without basic necessities for survival, there are assumptions of “hard” that we can validly make. But, when it comes to judging the other people around us, how a person’s life appears to be and how their life actually is should never be assumed to be the same thing.
Even if you’ve seen a person’s life from every perspective. Even if you think you’re an incredibly good judge of character. Even if you feel like a person wears their emotions on their sleeve. Even if you think you’ve seen it all and know how “it all” feels—there are worlds of emotion and a lifetime of experience contained within that simply cannot be understood by anyone except he/she who is looking from the inside-out. Period.
And as tempting as it might be to compare your life to others—to see where yours lands—it’s important to realize that it’s simply a waste of time that serves no higher purpose. First of all, because you can never truly compare that which you can’t truly measure (as just discussed). And secondly, because creating a hierarchy of everybody else’s problems doesn’t do anything for coming up with personal solutions—it’s just a distraction.
When you sort through and organize the hard that you think everyone around you is experiencing—how does that help you deal with your hard? If you believe your hard is greater than everyone else’s, what kind of action will that inspire? Spite that you were dealt a “harder” hand? A sense of entitlement to what’s easier? Resentment towards others who you think have it easier? Thinking you have it worse off, in my estimation, only creates more challenges and mental barriers.
On the other hand, if you believe your hard is less than everyone else’s, what kind of action will that inspire? Guilt that you were dealt an “easier” hand? A sense of entitlement (again) because it has always been easier? A feeling of relief that your problems aren’t as “bad” as others? Thinking that you’re “ahead” or that you have it “easier,” in my estimation, only handicaps you and prevents you (again) from dealing with your own “hard” in life.
The only time I can see comparison being of value is when it’s to expand a person’s perspective who is caught up in relatively “small,” “first-world-type-problems.” A person’s perspective of “hard” is proportional to the size of their experience. And a person with limited experience has a limited perspective of what’s “hard.” A person with more experience, however, sees the world through a broader context and takes on a more broad definition of “hard.” When a person’s biggest problem in life is the stupid thing that someone said to them, then experiencing a broader context of “hard” might be worthwhile, indeed.
Here’s where you have to get it straight, though: broadening your range of experience really shouldn’t entail comparison. And comparison is a destructive way to broaden your range of experience. Comparison involves the ego. Broadening experience shouldn’t. Comparison focuses on you and makes you feel privileged or underprivileged which will evoke distracting, unproductive feelings. Broadening experience focuses on understanding which is best done without the ego/ judgement. Comparison, generally speaking, creates more personal problems. Broadening experience is, notably, the key to coming up with personal solutions. For what else is a problem but a question you don’t have enough experience yet to answer? The distinction between the two can be blurry, but the difference in outcome couldn’t be more sharp.
This post became the introduction for: 30 Perspective Quotes To Radically Shift How You See The World
NEW In The Shop: Don’t Let The Tame Ones Tell You How To Live [Poster]
Why We ♥ It: Some of the best advice I (Matt here) ever got was: don’t take life advice from people who aren’t living a life you want to live and don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice. I created this poster to act as a reminder to listen more closely to our role models and less closely to our critics, trolls, and tamed-comfort-zone-hugger acquaintances. It’s also a perfect gift for the outdoor adventurer, travel enthusiast, or solo explorer (or soon to be). Available in print or digital download. 👇🏼
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Written by Matt Hogan
Founder of MoveMe Quotes. On a mission to help busy people do inner work—for better mental health; for healing; for personal growth. Find me on Twitter / IG / Medium. I also share daily insights here. 🌱
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