“Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.”
John F. Kennedy
Beyond the Quote (242/365)
With election season coming up it’s going to be easier than usual to get sucked into dividing lines, finger pointing, and blame shaming. And while fighting to ensure people take proper responsibility for their actions is a worthy and righteous fight, it also shouldn’t blind you to your own fight.
There are very real and tangible things that you can do to make your voice heard and to shine a light on injustices—vote, call politicians, protest, sign petitions, organize demonstrations, etc. And there are very real and tangible things that won’t—becoming anxiety ridden, paralyzed with fear, obsessed with news, and pointing blame and shame. The difference isn’t in how you feel about what’s going on—it’s in what you do about what’s going on.
If you want to see the change, you have to be the change. It’s not, if you want to see the change you have to blame others until they change. Or, if you want to see the change, you have to worry about change or point fingers at others who haven’t changed. No. YOU have to be the change. YOU are the only one who is in your own control. So, don’t rip your hair out trying to change someone or something that you can’t.
It’s funny because here are all of these things that are outside of our power and control, and here are so many of us struggling and torturing ourselves over them when, by definition, they’re outside of our power and control… and so we can’t do anything about them anyway! Why are we even wasting time and energy? What’s the end game? If you could choose between being happy and not being able to do anything about a situation and being depressed and not being able to do anything about a situation, it sounds like a no-contest to me? If something or someone isn’t going to change either way, regardless of how you act or feel—then choose to act and feel great! Right?
Now, you might counter back that not worrying about, pointing out, or blaming the actions of others (because you can’t change them) is ignoring the problems or letting people get away with unjust things. This is where you have to carefully decide what your fight is. Because it’s true that for the average person, besides the actions I listed above, there isn’t much more they can do to influence change. But, to the invested person, there might be.
If you decide that you’re passionate enough about a topic to dedicate your time, energy, resources (life) to exposing deeper truths or fighting back in more tangible ways—like becoming a politician or government official yourself—then that’s on you. But, remember, that’s not everybody’s choice. That’s a choice that you’re making for you that’s within your control and it’s becoming an integral part of your life—it’s your fight.
So, fight your fights. Don’t fight other people’s fights. And don’t try and tell people what fights they should be fighting. Focus less on blame, victimizing, and shaming and focus more on researching, action-oriented tasks, and things you can do yourself. When everybody understands that if we want to see the change then we have to be the change—we all become the same.
We are all equally responsible for what happens in our worlds and it is up to each of us to fight for what’s right in those worlds. When we each fight the good fight and take responsibility for our actions and work hard to secure a better future—our part is complete. It’s all we can ever do—our part. It’s the only way real change can ever happen. And it’s a helluva lot more productive than pointing fingers at everyone else who isn’t doing theirs. Double down on yours and lead the way.
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