In response to the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg: “It feels like we’re losing so many of our heroes this year, you know, John Lewis and Chadwick Boseman, and it just is like how is this possible? And I really do think there’s something about the idea that we’re being invited to realize that our heroes are human, which means that we all have the capacity to be the heroes of our communities and our lives and our story. The time for hero worship is maybe coming to an end and it’s time for us to all stand up and serve. These singular people can’t shoulder all the weight.”
Kerry Washington, Ellen
Beyond the Quote (264/365)
Our heroes are human. They always have been. They have the same amount of time in their days as we do. They have the same basic needs for survival, too. And they certainly live lives filled with problems and challenges just like each of us. So, what’s the difference between the average human and our “heroes?” I like to think that the scale of their impact and influence is in proportion to how they choose to be selfish and in how they choose to be selfless.
Heroes being selfless is easy to understand. But, Heroes being… selfish? How? In fact, I would even go so far as to say, upon closer inspection, you’ll find that heroes are some of the most fervently selfish humans out there. What are we inspecting more closely exactly? Well, we’re not inspecting how selfish they are with hordes of money or items of luxury. We’re inspecting how selfish they are with their personal development—their desire for growth.
You can only give back what you have. Our heroes are the ones who are able to selflessly give back the most only because they are the ones who have the most to give. They are the ones who “selfishly” prioritize themselves and invest their time, energy, and effort into becoming stronger, faster, and more knowledgeable. And with that strength they are able to “shoulder more weight.” With that speed they are able to recover faster from challenges and setbacks. And with that knowledge they are able to open new doors in ways that other, less knowledgable people, can’t.
Even looking at the three people Kerry Washington mentioned above specifically you’ll find this to be abundantly true. Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Invested heavily in her education and took it incredibly seriously. Even when she had to balance her roles of being a wife and a mother and a caregiver to her husband (who was struggling with cancer) while they were both in law school—she continued her studies and helped her husband continue his studies and she continued to excel at all of the above.
John Lewis? Not only was he ordained as a Baptist minister who then later graduated with a college degree, but he dedicated his entire life to engaging in “good trouble, necessary trouble” to achieve change. He was a front-line activist who was always learning experientially through nonviolent protest and strategic boycotts. He was a dedicated adherent to the discipline and philosophy of nonviolence and gained a lifetime of insight that he was later able to share because of how heavily he invested in his own growth as an individual who wanted to make a difference [1].
Chadwick Boseman? You mean Black Panther? Jackie Robinson? James Brown? One does not simply play these iconic roles without heavily (and I mean heavily) investing in ones ability to act. And to be clear, Chadwick Boseman didn’t just “play” these legendary parts in movies—he embodied them. He was them. What he brought to the screen for us to witness was far beyond just entertainment—it was passion and the delivery had the power to hit the soul.
While, yes, these extraordinary people have all done extraordinary things, the thing to remember (that they all have in common), is that they all started as non-extraordinary. They all started off as “normal.” They simply choose to live their lives in extraordinary ways—and I think that’s what all heroes do. They choose to selfishly invest in themselves so that they may have more to give, and then they give it all away. It’s a dance that requires balance and synergy in how those two elements play with each other.
Extraordinary doesn’t happen when you’re always being selfless because you’ll run out (or reach a limit) of what you’re able to give away. And extraordinary doesn’t happen when you’re always being selfish because then there’s no impact. A hero on a planet alone isn’t a hero at all. Heroes save people. Heroes take care of themselves and then they take care of others, too. Extraordinary happens when selfish and selfless are intertwined in harmony day-in and day-out in a persons life.
We all have the capacity to be the heroes of our communities and our lives and our story. And yes, maybe it’s time for the hero worship to come to an end so that we may, indeed, stand up, serve, and contribute our part. We can’t continue to rely on singular people to move mountains for us. We all need to chip in to do that. We have to learn how to stop putting high performers on a pedestal and learn how to become high performers ourselves. Not even just so that we can become a hero, but so that we may live our best lives. They are one in the same. We need you at your best. Your life is best lived when you are at your best. It’s time to make it happen.
Read Next: 24 Potent Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes on Equality, Relationships, and Living Up To One’s Potential
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