“Set the tone for your day by treating people better than you expect to be treated by them. Be the first to smile. Express your appreciation for them. Expect the best out of them. If you act first, you will set yourself up for success.”
John C. Maxwell, Today Matters
Beyond the Quote (146/365)
One thing is for sure, the opposite certainly won’t set you up for success. You can treat people worse than you expect them to treat you. You can wait to smile until they smile at you. You can withhold any appreciation you might have towards others and express gratitude only when it would be rude not to. You can expect the worst out of them. The thing is, though, if you wait to act, you will be outsourcing part of your success onto them—to people and circumstances out of your control. And is success even possible if it’s out of your control?
But wait, what even is success? Is success a race to the top? If it is, would it be better to make it to the top as a result of your own efforts or as a result of luck and circumstance? Would it be better to win the race with the people around you cheering for you or begrudgingly resenting you for how you treated them along the way? Tearing people down might make you feel bigger and more successful, but it certainly won’t leave you surrounded with anyone around you who cares. And if nobody cares about your success, are you really even successful?
Maybe success about happiness? If it is, then don’t you think it would be best to do everything you can that might put you into a state of happiness? For, you don’t become successful THEN become happy, right? You become happy and THEN you become successful—in that moment and on the journey towards your goals. In the moment because any moment spent in a state of joy and contentment is a successful moment, wouldn’t you say? On the journey because being in an elevated state—a state of happiness and love—would allow you to perform better (more successfully) than the opposite. Thus, leading you to where you want to be faster, right?
Well… What if success is about growth? For, growth signifies improvement and what might success be other than an improvement from yesterday? If it is, then what do you suppose would help you grow the fastest? Would shutting people out or welcoming people in help you more? Would treating people poorly and expecting the worst out of them help you grow or would learning how to use the golden rule and how to deploy optimism and positivity as a strategy help more? Is growth something that other people give to you or is it something you have to go and get for yourself? If nobody is there to help you grow or see you grow, will you still be just as proud of your growth or, more importantly, even be motivated to continue growing at all?
Contribution. Success has to be connected to contribution, right? For, when you give, you receive. When you help others, others help you. When you put good karma into the world, good karma finds its way back to you, right? If we can help other people become more successful in their lives—whether that’s helping further them along on their race, become more happy, become more grown as an individual, or maybe even more capable of helping others themselves—wouldn’t that be the ultimate success? Maybe our success is actually less about our accomplishments, per se, and is more closely tied to the successes of others—in all of the above mentioned areas? Maybe we’re actually all in this together?
Maybe, treating people better than you expect to be treated by them, being the first to smile, expressing your appreciation for them, expecting the best out of them, and acting first, is indeed, one of the best ways we can set ourselves up for success after all?
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