John Leland Quote on Happiness and How Gratitude is the Key That Unlocks the Door

“Some people are grateful seemingly as their default state, even when no one’s looking.  Their lives aren’t necessarily better than other people’s, but they find more reasons to give thanks for their small rewards.  Fred Jones was one of those people.  Giving thanks made him happy, which made him grateful, which made him happy.”

John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 119)

Beyond the Quote (221/365)

Maybe you know one of those people too? A person who seems to be grateful by default and is seemingly more happy as a result. Or maybe it’s that they’re more happy by default so they express more gratitude? Does it matter which one it is? Does one cause the other or are they both inextricably linked? …I believe that it does matter and understanding this catch-22 will help you understand how to be more like the Fred Jones’ of the world. Let’s take a closer look.

At first glance, this might cause some worry because what if your default state wasn’t happy or grateful? What if your default state was serious or sad or afraid? Would defaulting to that other state prevent you from getting into that type of positive feedback loop the generates a consistent feeling of happiness? After all, how to change a “default setting?” But, when you look closer at the difference between expressing happiness versus expressing gratitude you might start to see where your opening into the feedback loop lies.

If you’re not feeling happy, then expressing happiness is hard to do. It isn’t something that is easily commanded or something that you can just snap into your state (at least not without some training). Happiness is something that can only ever be manufactured from within—it isn’t something that can be forced from without. This is the difference between a genuine smile and a fake smile—while the action of the smile is essentially the same, we can all tell the difference between the two. The genuine smile comes from within whereas the fake smile comes from a prompt without. Gratitude on the other hand, is different.

Gratitude is a verb whereas happiness is a noun. Gratitude is something that is expressed whereas happiness is a state that is felt. Gratitude is something you can act on whereas happiness is the result of those actions. Gratitude is the key. Happiness is what’s behind the door. This is your way in. This is how you break the catch-22 and enter into that positive feedback loop that Fred Jones regularly experienced above. Expressing gratitude made him happy, which made him grateful, which made him more happy and so on. And so can it be for you, too.

If your default state isn’t happy—don’t try to force happiness. Just like if the default state of the door is “locked,” don’t try to force down the door. Find the key, first. Work smarter—not harder. Unlock happiness by giving thanks. Send someone a message and tell them that you’re thinking about them and that you appreciate them. Pull out your phone and give someone a call that you haven’t said “thank you” to in a long time. And if you really want to get down and dirty, pull out a good ‘ol fashion pen and paper and send someone a written note. It’ll only take a few minutes and the return on the invested time will be exponential. Get that feedback loop rolling and join the Fred Jones’ of the world. You deserve it. Don’t ever tell yourself otherwise.

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