“People may teach what they know, but they reproduce what they are.”
John C. Maxwell, Leadership Gold
Beyond the Quote (160/365)
Let’s say you are driving and a friend is following you in a separate car, but to the same destination. While driving, you suddenly realize that you’ve made a wrong turn. You quickly think to yourself that there’s still time for your friend behind you to make the proper turn, so you stick your hand out the window and try to point them in the proper direction. Yet, rather than make the proper turn they still follow you in the wrong direction.
Now, in part, I think this has to do with the desire to stay together, of course. It also could be that the following car driver didn’t fully understand the hand out of the window gesture in time to make the proper turn safely. But, I think what’s even more interesting to investigate is the shift in mindset it takes to go from being a follower to being, essentially, a leader. Let’s think about the situation from the opposite perspective.
Let’s say that you are following your friend and you see them stick their hand out of the window and signal for you to turn in a different direction than they appear to be driving. The gesture processes in your head and there is certainly still enough time for you to make the turn safely—so, what do you do? Maybe you make the turn and you go about your way. But, if you’ve ever been in this situation then you know it’s not as easy to make that switch in direction as it might sound.
When you are in the mindset to lead, making directional choices—even quick directional choices—comes with the territory. It’s expected and a leader’s mind is primed for it. When you are in the mindset to follow, you don’t really even pay attention to directional choices. The act of following is a powerful and even blinding life force. Of course, if you’re an independent thinker and are trying to emerge as a leader in your own right, you may very well be paying close attention to the decisions of the leader—but, for the sake of this illustration, let’s say that the follower is doing simply that—following.
When the leader sticks their hand out of the car window and signals to a follower to go in a different direction, they’re not only asking them to make a different turn, they’re asking them to switch from being a person who follows to become a person who leads. And this is no easy ask nor is it an easy decision to make in a split second. Easier to keep following the leader down the incorrect path and trust that they’ll get you back on track than to start making decisions for yourself.
This is what happens with leaders and followers in life all of the time. Leaders go on driving and followers go on driving right behind them wherever they go. It doesn’t matter if the leader sticks their hands out of the window, calls them from their phone, or even sends them a smoke signal to turn in a different direction—followers will do what followers do—they will follow the actions of their chosen leader. This is what is meant by the expressions actions speak louder than words; the best way to lead is to lead by example; and what you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying. For, why would the follower listen to words that are pointing one way when the leader is physically moving a different way? In order to go in a different direction, the follower would need to become a leader—it’s the only way to veer off onto a new path.
So, how does this apply? Think about who you have following you in your life. And think about this in the context of whose actions are following your actions—not whose actions are following your words. Think about your friends. Who seems to be doing what you do, even if you have been telling them to do something else? Think about the young ones in your life. Which kids in your life mimic the actions you take regardless of the words you choose? Think about your coworkers. Who tends to have the same workplace attitude, workplace work ethic, and workplace demeanor as you? And in regards to those who are doing what you say and not what you do, pay them the props they deserve because they have made the difficult life decision to lead rather than follow. And in leaders, we trust. If we don’t, maybe it’s time to veer off the path and become the trustworthy leader we’ve been seeking.
Read Next: 26 Powerful John C. Maxwell Quotes from Leadership Gold
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