“Now more than ever I am aware that a person’s significant birthdays can either mark the passage of time, or they can mark changes they’ve made in their lives to reach their potential and become the person they were created to be.”
John C. Maxwell, Leadership Gold
Beyond the Quote (233/365)
As I sit and reflect on completing my first full year of my thirties, the saying that keeps coming to the forefront of my mind that I would say has guided me more than any other saying in this past year has been: Control what you can control, let go of what you can’t, and take what time is needed to understand where all things in your life fall. Without this expression in my mind, 30 would have turned out completely different for me.
Most notably during this past year has been the life-changing sweep of the Coronavirus across the entire face of the world. It has thrown one of the most tremendous curve-balls that I have ever experienced in my life. And as it was for so many other people, it lead to so many unforeseen challenges that have truly been a test of character. With the guidance of the above mentioned expression, I was able to transform and emerge from the situations presented by Coronavirus, not just the same, but in a better headspace than I was before. I controlled what I could control—me and my actions—and made my time in solitude a time for introspection, growth, and recovery.
On top of that, however, this past year has also led to a separation of paths with people who I never would have expected to have been walking away from. It has been a sobering reminder that not everybody who starts with you on your path will end with you on your path. And while it can be hard to have to walk away from certain people, it’s always better than trying to force them to walk in a direction they don’t want to go. People will choose how they will choose and that’s okay. I remind myself constantly that what other people choose to do is ultimately their business and is outside my realm of control—and I need to respect that.
It hasn’t all been negative challenges though. This past year has been one of the most challenging years on my development as a person, too. I have disciplined myself to keep up with one of my most demanding regimes of productivity that I ever have in my life. I have maintained my daily workout regime almost to the tee. I have incorporated meditation into my daily practice and have been more regular with it than ever before. I am in a groove with intermittent fasting and have never felt healthier. And, of course, I have never written more than I have in this past year.
I tell you this not because I’m trying to brag or gloat. I tell you this because it is something that has taken me almost 20 years to build up to. This didn’t happen from something that snapped into place when I turned 30. This is something that I have been working on, failing at, and trying again to figure out since I was 11 years old. And I’m more proud of where I am now than at any other time in my life. I have learned to trust the process and believe that delaying gratification is fundamental to long-term success. So much of the success that I might be experiencing today is a result of the sacrifices I made yesterday (and all of the days before that).
In summary, life is going to continue to unfold in unbeknownst ways. And as the cliché saying goes—tomorrow is never guaranteed. Mazen taught me that (a friend who was killed in the Beirut explosion). So, today? I focus on controlling what I can control. Not Coronavirus, not tragedies, not diverting paths, and certainly not other people. And every day I focus on exercising, eating right, writing, reading, meditating, and connecting with like-minded people. These are the tasks that I never regret spending my time doing and they are all things that I can control regardless of what’s happening around me (for the most part).
And as the world continues to unfold in mysterious and more and more crazy ways (just waiting for aliens to show up next), I encourage you to internalize the message in that saying too. Control what you can control. Let go of what you can’t. And if you don’t know where something or someone or some situation falls? Take what time is needed to figure it out and act accordingly. It’s some of the best advice I, personally, have ever followed and feel like I can give. Cheers to another year and to many more beautiful days.
Read Next: 23 Quotes on Aging, Living, and Dying from Happiness Is a Choice You Make
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