Introduction: Certainty vs. Uncertainty
As humans, we need to feel a sense of both certainty and uncertainty in our lives in order to feel our best and perform optimally. Certainty is what gives us our sense of security, comfort, and safety. Uncertainty is what gives us our sense of surprise, spontaneity, and adventure. Too much of either and we’ll feel our lives tilt towards monotonous/ predictable/ boring or crazy/ unpredictable/ out of control.
Ideally, we want to spend our time incorporating a healthy balance of both into our lives every day. But, when one gets wildly thrown off balance? …Like when a worldwide pandemic sweeps the globe off of its feet? We’ll need to hyper focus our attention and efforts on rebuilding the certainty into our lives that was lost.
When it comes to having both certainty and uncertainty in your life, certainty always comes first. Certainty is knowing that when you wake up in the morning your roof will still be over your head; the food will still be in the fridge; the water will still come out of the faucet; the clothes will still be in the closet; the people you love will still be there to greet you, etc.
Certainty gives you that comfortable sense of knowing that your basic needs for survival will be met and allows you to relax into the uncertainties of your day. Until we feel that sense of certainty we will feel insecure, worried, and fearful. And with many people getting their lives swept out right from under them, this is exactly how they feel.
Building a Foundation of Certainty
Creating a solid foundation of certainty in our lives is no easy feat. Life is always throwing curveballs at us and will constantly challenge whatever foundation we build. If there’s one thing you can always be certain about, it’s that the future will always be uncertain. In current affairs, the entire world has been thrown the curveball of the Coronavirus.
So many certainties that people can usually count on are in now unknown, in question, and are changing moment-to-moment. This is not a comfortable situation to be in from a survival standpoint. Countless people are out of work and sick and are wondering about the roof over their head, the food in their fridge, the water in their faucet, and how to protect the ones they love. Talk about a curveball.
But, none-the-less, that’s the pitch we’ve been given. These are the circumstances that we now find ourselves in. This is going to be the new “normal” that we have to adjust to. The question we have to stay focused on is, what can we do to make this “new normal” more certain for our lives? How can we rebalance our lives so that we aren’t living with so much insecurity, worry, dread and fear? What actions can we take so that when the news comes out that there’s another drastic uncertainty in the world we’re more ready?
This is where the power of rituals, routines, and habits that WE are in control of come into the picture. We will never be able to control life, but we will always be able to control the choices we make and actions we take in our lives. And if we can choose to build positive habits into our lives that we can look forward to every day, then we’ll be choosing to live with a little more certainty than we had before—and so we begin.
The Certainty That WE Control
So, what choices and actions can we take? What can we do to reestablish our need for certainty into our lives and get back to that state of equilibrium? My recommendation is to focus on building, not routine or habits per se, but rituals into your day.
A ritual is something that you do every day that you bear great weight to and rarely ever miss. A ritual is deeper than a chore, habit, or routine. A ritual is something you connect to not just mentally (because you know you should do it), but emotionally (because it’s important and meaningful to you). If you’re new to the idea of rituals, let’s start by focusing on your mornings and evenings.
Morning and evening rituals are great places to start because everybody wakes up and everybody goes to sleep (hopefully) and using other certainties in the day are great reference points (and reminders) for building new certainties.
Furthermore, Mark Devine explains that, “The morning ritual is particularly effective in its ability to set the tone for a positive, energized day during which you are more likely to use spot practices and implement your new skills to greater effect. The evening ritual provides the perfect complement, helping you lock in the achievements of your day, glean the most important lessons or insights, and go to bed with a feeling of satisfaction and confidence in what the future holds.” Once you decide where you want to build your ritual(s), the next step will be to decide what ritual(s) you want to build.
What Rituals Look Like
Your ritual could be as big or as small, as quick or as time consuming as you want it to be. A morning ritual could be something as simple as waking up at the same time every day and giving thanks; going through a five minute stretching routine once out of bed; practicing a meditation while in the shower; or cooking a hot breakfast.
It could also be more time intensive and look more along the lines of a 20 minute guided meditation; a 30 minute exercise session; reading a chapter of a book; or journaling. The idea is to build into your day something that you can count on, that you can look forward to, that sets the tone for a positive and energized day, that’s within YOUR control.
The same goes for the evening ritual. Maybe you prefer to exercise, meditate, read, or write in the evenings instead of the morning? Perfect. Make the adjustments that work best for you and commit.
Once you decide on a ritual that you’re going to build into your life, focus exclusively on it and only add an additional ritual once you have that emotional connection established with the first. Don’t worry about how many days it should take to “build the ritual”—just listen to your gut.
Take things one day at a time and stay flexible in your approach—especially in the early stages of the ritual building. If you want to move a ritual from the morning to the evening—do it. If you want to adjust the time you have dedicated to the ritual—do that. If you really can’t see yourself sticking to your ritual for a long period of time—change it. But, don’t give up on the ritual easily.
Make sure that what you set out to do gets done. Discipline yourself and make your word, law. Reclaim the certainty that might have been taken from you and reestablish equilibrium back into your life.
The good news is, once you do this, you’ll be more ready for the next curveball that life throws your way—because you know there will be another one. Be more ready than you were before. Be certain that, during uncertain times, you will have a solid foundation of certainties that you can always count on and fall back on. This way, not only will you find your balance quicker, but maybe you can help all of us find ours too. Good luck!
Don't Let the Motivation Stop There...!
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