Hayao Miyazaki Quote on Relationships and Broadening Our Definition of Love

“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live… if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.”

Hayao Miyazaki

Beyond the Quote (222/365)

…Inspiring another person to live—what higher expression of love is there? And by live, of course, we mean really live—fulfill your life in a way that’s far beyond merely existing. Living is exploring; existing is hiding. Living is questioning; existing is tolerating. Living is risking; existing is comforting. Living is a rarity that few people embody to its full extent; existing is the commonplace for the rest. And what more can be said about love in its true expression?

Love is exploring. Love is questioning. Love is risking. Love is a verb. To love is to act in ways that inspire life. Love isn’t what must occur when there is a boy and a girl within the same feature. Love doesn’t have to be the sole option when two compatible humans cross paths. Yes, this is what is portrayed in just about every romance movie, but our lives are so much more than what a two hour movie can show.

Isn’t it so that someone comes walking into our lives and we immediately start to play the romance movie frames forward like it’s how our story is supposed to play out, too? We have to stop this. Love should be more than a cliché movie plot. Love should be complicated; it should be captivating; it should be unique; it should be slightly different for everybody in your life—not exclusive for just one person in your life.

And yet here we are living in a world where love has taken on this incredibly narrow definition that is to include but only one other person in the entire world. And if a person doesn’t fit that fairytale expectation, then we boot them to the curb or block them out and move onto the next? Why is it so? Why is it that we can’t broaden our definition of love to extend beyond the need for singular exclusivity of another person’s time, energy, and effort? Love isn’t a laser that’s pointed only towards one person. Love is an overflowing that affects all those who come into contact with its expression. Any expression otherwise isn’t love expressed in its truest form.

To be clear, this isn’t an argument against monogamy nor is it in support of open relationships. In fact, this conversation about love isn’t about intimate relationships at all. That’s the point. It’s about looking past the need to always categorically put people into either “marrying” or “not marrying.” It’s about learning how to include people in your life that you don’t plan on committing your whole life to. It’s about including people that you aren’t attracted to, but connect with in other ways. People who inspire you to live. People who bring out the best in you. This is the slightly different relationship that Miyazaki wants to portray. And it’s a relationship that you can start to portray in your life, too. But first, you must broaden your definition of love.

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